Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Ed Ranks 20 Zendaya Instagram Posts

Some of these rankings need convoluted explanations. This one doesn't. Here are twenty Instagram posts made by Zendaya, ranked.

20.
A post shared by Zendaya (@zendaya) on
Why does she look like she's eight years old in this one? 

19. 
Oh Yeah. Remember when she was at the Oscars and Giuliana Rancic threw shade at her natural hair? Big mistake there, Giuliana you Skeletor-lookin' mofo.
 
18. 
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Oh yeah! Bikini pic! Although I guess if I rank this TOO high I'll come off like a creeper.

17. 
A post shared by Zendaya (@zendaya) on
The outfit is a little close to her skin tone though, which makes her look nude. You know, if you have crappy eyesight.
 
16. 
A post shared by Zendaya (@zendaya) on
Yep, this is another picture of Zendaya Coleman. Number 16. This is pretty much how this is going to go from here in. Twenty Zendaya pictures from Instagram. I'm not saying they are the twenty best. I just picked twenty and I am ranking them.
 
15.
A post shared by Zendaya (@zendaya) on
Can I even post this one? Naked mannequins don't count as nudity, do they?
 
14.
A post shared by Zendaya (@zendaya) on
No way is this hair real.
 
13.
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At the January 21, 2017 Women's March in Washington, DC. Being political is, like, good and stuff.
 
12.
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On the plus side, she has horses on her boobs. That's cool. On the EVEN PLUSSER side... why does she look like Michelle Williams? The Dawsons Creek one, I mean. Not the Destiny's Child one.
 
11.
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Pet pictures are always awesome. Hello, doggo!
 
10.
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This is a lot of red.
 
9.
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Hey look, celebrities have to take their Senior Year High School portraits too! Zendaya is just like you and me! Only, you know, rich and famous and with multiple TV shows. But other than that, just like you and me.
 
8.
A post shared by Zendaya (@zendaya) on
Hell yeah, snow! Very majestic.
 
7.
A post shared by Zendaya (@zendaya) on
I wish I could pull off a flower tiara.
 
6.
A post shared by Zendaya (@zendaya) on
Why is she staring into the viewer's soul?
 
5.
A post shared by Zendaya (@zendaya) on
R.I.P. whatever ostrich had to die for this outfit.
 
 4.
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This looks like some type of Indiana Jones reboot where Indiana Jones is now a multiracial teenage girl. And confused. By Nazis, I suppose. I'm not sure if you like that idea, but it already sounds 100 times better than Crystal Skull.
 
3.
I have a solitaire game on my iPhone that lets me pick what the back of the cards look like. I just changed it to this photo. It used to be a picture of a cat sitting on a toilet. If you wanted to know.
 
2.
A post shared by Zendaya (@zendaya) on
I obviously have some sort of 1920's flapper fetish to rank this one so high. But then again... who doesn't? Am I right?
 
1. 
A post shared by Zendaya (@zendaya) on
Oh look, she's uhh... a goddess. That's pretty awesome. Uhh... Isis, maybe? No, Isis the Egyptian goddess and divine mother of the pharaoh. Not ISIS. Geez. Or maybe one of the Nine Muses or something? Euterpe? Does that sound right? I'm not quite sure. She could be Princess Zelda for all I know. Her ears are covered up, after all. Those could be elf ears.

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