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| 1/2 of a McDonalds ad. |
15. John M. of Merced, CA (8/14/2016)
Thank you city of St.Louis for your piss poor planning during construction at the Gateway Arch. The signs off the freeway to local parking are non-existent. Signs on how to get to the arch once you have found parking which is at least a quarter of a mile away are non existent. All this in pouring rain. What fucking idiot came up with this plan?
Analysis: It sounds like you should be leaving a Yelp review for the Planning and Urban Design Agency of St. Louis instead of for the Gateway Arch. Or maybe the St. Louis County Department of Transportation. Either way, the Arch itself had nothing to do with your misery, man. Seems a bit unfair.
14. Adrian J. of Portland, OR (4/10/2015)
It was really nice to look at from afar, wanted to go up close but having a car and finding parking nearby with all the construction that was being done made it such an unpleasant experience. I hope it changes once the construction in the area finishes.
Analysis: I'm not even sure if Adrian went to the Arch or not. It's not clear if Adrian did eventually get there but the experience was unpleasant because of the construction, or (I'm guessing more likely) that Adrian just gave up because of all the construction. Although points for starting a 1-star review with "It was really nice to look at" before doing the ol' M. Night Shamalamadingdong twist.
13. Meghan D. of Lake Zurich, IL (
"Ranger" Karen 100% ruined our experience today at the arch. My kids who were nothing more than excited got yelled at twice by her for simply looking out the windows as soon as they got up there. Just like EVERY OTHER KID. My kids are not used to strangers actually yelling at them and treating th so disrespectfully.
Analysis: First of all, I'm not sure why ranger is sarcastically put in quotation marks like Karen isn't actually a ranger. She's a ranger. Maybe you think she's a bad one, but it's not like the National Park Service simply ran out of rangers for the day and just had some dentist start doing the job. Also, I'm sure your wretched little devil spawn were being dicks that pushed other people out of the way and I don't believe your spin. You are probably the "no spanking" type of mother that will raise sociopath criminals because you refused to let your children ever be disciplined. I personally believe total strangers should be allowed to beat unruly children in public. Not only should it be allowed, it should be required.
12. Denise B. of Lorena, TX (3/5/2015)
I understand the city is updating and improving the area. But the construction was bad to say the least. No signs to help either, only to say " NO PARKING " everywhere. The closest parking that we found was 6-8 blocks away and walk in 23 degree temps. Came a ST Louis to visit this area and was disappointed.
Analysis: What a surprise that someone from Texas hates the arduous task of walking.
11. Trenton F. of Saint Louis, MO (8/12/2017)
The have the incompetent security I have seen. They are also uncooperative team so called security. Stay away from the Arch in St Louis at all costs. They mistreat military veterans, they think you are psycho & give you as disabled Bet extra harassment. Trying to get into entrance way, despite telling them & showing them the metal devices you have on your person. They great pride at treating US Military Vet like crap.
Analysis: Well, with his spelling and grammatical mistakes, I can tell this guy didn't enlist in order to qualify for a G.I. bill. Also, while I don't doubt that Trenton had a miserable experience and bad interaction with security on this day, I really, really, really doubt that security was specifically trained to treat him like crap simply because he is a veteran. I'm sure they treat EVERYBODY like crap equally. This isn't the plot of First Blood. Trent (can I call you Trent?) seems like he probably pulls the "I'm a vet" card every day and every place he goes. Also... uhm... he's a resident of Saint Louis. WHY THE HELL IS HE GOING TO THE ARCH?! I've lived around DC my whole life. I have been to Congress zero times. Also, thank you for your service, sir.
10. Camden C. of Commerce City, CO (8/10/2018)
They said we could bring our emotional support animal but security wouldn't let us through.
Analysis: Ugh. Emotional support pet people. I'm glad airlines (and apparently arches) are banning these folks. Yeah, I like my cats too. But I'm not a giant enough dick to bring them everywhere with me and make everyone else listen to them yowl and watch them take poops because my delicate emotional state won't allow me to be away from them.
9. Jason P. of Boulder, CO (5/28/2016)
There was a ton of construction, the pavement was very hot and made of sharp stones. Dogs are not allowed in the arch. Only one entrance and exit, we had to walk all the way back out the same way we came in. To top it all off, civil war re-enactment assholes were firing a very loud canon that scared me and my dog. Famished, dehydrated, and shell shocked, I walked into the wrong parking garage and couldn't find the car. Thankfully we escaped this hell hole, driving as fast as I could, and am now relaxing at a coffee shop out in the suburbs.
The arch itself looks like fun.
Analysis: Jason never went to the Arch and yet he left a review of it. Jason seems to be flustered by things like pavement, the fact that it typically starts to get hot around Memorial Day, loud noises, the fact that you can't just bring dogs anywhere you want, and the fact that there can be more than one parking garage in a city. Heads up to his family members: Jason does not seem like the type of guy you'd want as your partner in The Great American Race, if you're thinking of applying. Jason, to his credit, does make one really good point though - Civil War reenactment people are indeed generally assholes.
8. James C. of Los Angeles, CA (
The arch itself is really fantastic. A must see. My review is scored so low because apparently a "must see" landmark can only be seen if you own an android phone or a pc. It would not let me purchase tickets from my iphone or my Mac. Cmon guys....I know you're an old building and historic site but you could still get with the times. I'll assume you're on dial up modems as well so you'll probably never see this review anyway.
Analysis: I'm literally on my iPhone right now and figured out how to buy tickets on it. This sounds like user error. Also, even if it were true that on the day you left this review buying wasn't possible with Apple products then it still wouldn't be true that android or PCs were the ONLY way to buy tickets. You could also... you know... go to the Gateway Arch and get a ticket there.
7. Karina Y. of Los Angeles, CA (
This was by far the worst experience of my entire life. There was a delay, yet they did not tell anybody what was going on. My family and i waited in line for over an hour and a half. None of the workers were helpful either. Also, if you suffer with claustrophobia DO NOT COME HERE. I was on the verge of tears the entire ride up. Once we got to the top, it was a tight, crammed space with over fifty people huddled together. The windows are extremely small, not permitting you to see much. I am so upset with this experience- definitely not worth my money.
Analysis: Has Karina ever had a family member die? Probably yes, because everyone's family members die because everyone dies, eventually. Well, when Karina's grandma died it obviously wasn't as bad at that time she went to the Gateway Arch... because going to the Gatwway arch was BY FAR THE WORST EXPERIENCE OF HER LIFE. Also, she's claustrophobic, so this is mostly on her. I have zero sympathy for Karina, but I'm going to give her points because she's such a drama queen in this review.
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| Tramcar or alien anal probe room? |
Being stuck in a tram car for a half hour then being stuck at the top for even longer is not a good time.5. Elli C. of Excelsior Springs, MO (9/11/2016)
Seems like the tram system isn't very reliable and has been prone to break downs in the past.
Analysis: Oh man, this sounded like it must have SUCKED, Kevin. Good thing you're not claustrophobic like Karina Y. of California. Because then the other passengers on the tram might have to have murdered you.
we are from out of town and wanted to see this and it was a bad experience. We bought tickets for the 4:45 tour which is their last one of the day. We didn't even go up till 5:30! That's how long we waited. By the time we were done up top and wanted to pick up our picture they were shutting down and it was 6:01! They kept trying to push us out the little shop they had and we kept telling us it's not our fault that they won't let us go up at the time we asked for. They didn't care. And one of the girls in the arch very LOUDLY said "It's time to go so get in a capsule and leave now" like excuse me? Staying on the clock for a few more moments so people can see and get a good view isn't that big of a deal. Our expierence was ruined by the horrible customer service they had. Cheers to your "employees" for ruining the first time we got to see the gateway
Analysis: Again, this is unnecessary use of quotation marks around the word employees. They are employees, and adding sarcastic quotation marks around that word doesn't actually mean anything. What if I said you were from "Excelsior Springs"? Does it look like I'm trying to denigrate that suburb of Kansas City just by placing quotation marks around it? Does it look like I'm trying to imply that the city doesn't actually exist? I'm not quite sure. But seriously, I do sympathize with Elli on this one. Sounds like it sucked. I remember I was at the Louvre and it was 30 minutes before they "closed" and yet they started blocking large sections of the museum kicking people out. If you start kicking people out at 5:30, then just say you close at 5:30. Don't say you close at 6. Dicks.
4. Mat T. of Wheeling, IL (7/5/2016)
The arch wait times are extremely long. There is no organization as far as lines are concerned inside. We were inside the arch for so long that we missed our cruise afterwards (we only looked out of the windows at the top of the arch for 5 min but we were standing in lines for over an hour and a half.
Total waste of time.
Analysis: This might be the most accurate description of any and every tourist trap monument that ever existed. Yes. You will stand in a long line and then look for five minutes and be disappointed. This could be a review of the Eiffel Tower, the Burj Khalifa, the Statue of Liberty, the Blarney Stone, the Grand Canyon.... or really anything. But you gotta take some personal responsibility for your own time mismanagement and missing your cruise.
3. Jasmine B. of Arvada, CO (3/11/2014)
Don't waste your time going up in the arch. What a joke. You spend 10 a person and get a ticket for a "tour". Your tour consists of someone taking your ticket and you waiting in line for an hour to go up the arch to the top. Once you get there you can view the city through 6 inch windows. Kicker, you get to wait in line again to go back down. Don't waste your time. Go find something to do other than stand around in a line.
Analysis: Like Mat T., Jasmine B. has truly described the essence of visiting mass tourism sites. I hope this is a learning experience for you, Jasmine. I don't want to look at your other Yelp reviews and see you surprised when the same thing happens to you at the Empire State Building. Also, $10 doesn't seem that pricey and if that's the type of cost you're complaining about I don't think you should be doing any vacationing anywhere.
2. Amanda H. of Mount Juliet, TN (6/15/2017)
Called ahead to find out how long the wait time is from the time the tickets are purchased to get to the top. Operator on the phone told me after tickets are purchased it should be a straight shot up, no wait time. Walked all the way here after 20 minutes found out that tickets to go up were not for three more hours. Could not take family up to the top of the arch. Then had to walk all the way back. What the girl should have said was if you purchase tickets online way in advance you can go straight up but if you use any of the ticket kiosk at the Capitol building or the kiosk below the arts, it is at least a three hour wait. If you are bringing small children I highly recommend you buy tickets in advance because the apparatus have no idea what they're doing.
Analysis: This sounds like the phone operator's fault, so I'm going to take Amanda's side on this one.
1. Phillip L. of Lakewood, Dallas, TX (8/7/2016)
The whole place is trashed. 2:55 tickets means get in line at 2:55, then wait 30 minutes and hope the elevator doesn't keep breaking down. Shutdown and work 24 hours to finish this mess.
Analysis: I can't knock this review at all. It's short, gets right to the point, and even provides a suggestion to temporarily shut down to fix the elevators. I suppose if I wanted to nitpick anything about this, it would be that Phillip seems to vastly underestimate the time it would take to repair a 50+ year old elevator system. I bet it would take a lot longer than 24 hours.
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