Ed Ranks Brent Smith's Names

Screaming? Loco? Don't say you know.

At least, you know, according to the 2012 Shinedown song "My Name (Wearing Me Out)."


7.  Searching

• Reasoning: Since you stole his only soul. 
• Analysis: "Searching" is an awful name. "Come here, Searching! Get your dinner, Searching!" Man, this name is awful. Who uses present tense verbs for names?

 6. Empty

• Reasoning: 'Cause you drained away the love.
• Analysis: Empty is a pretty bad name. It's not as bad as "Searching," but it's up there in the pinnacle of terribleness.

5. Worthless

• Reasoning: Like you told him he once was.
• Analysis: I know that you might think that "Worthless" would be a worse name than "Searching" or "Empty" because it's very insulting. True. But at least it's a name people are actually occasionally called. Have I called people worthless? Yes. I've sure as hell never called anyone "Searching." And I'd certainly rather be worthless than empty.

4. Screaming

• Reasoning: Like the sound of your heart failing.
• Analysis: Screaming could be cool. Like Axl Rose screaming is awesome. But what if the name is "Screaming" as in screaming like an annoying baby. That's no good at all.

3. Revenge

• Reasoning: He's here to save his name.
• Analysis: Revenge is a cool concept. Nobody loves a good revenge movie more than me! But is it a good name? Not really. I'm glad that "The Punisher" named himself that rather than calling himself "Revenge."

2. Hatred

• Reasoning: Reasons they both know.
• Analysis: I guess I would consider naming my son "Hatred." Would other kids mess with Hatred? You'd think they'd be smarter than that. I would need to start training my son MMA moves in preschool just to make sure he can live up to the name.

1. Loco

• Reasoning: Like the motive that betrayed him.
• Analysis: I mean this is a fantastic nickname, at least. I'm not sure if it's the type of name someone should have on their birth certificate, but as a nickname "Loco" seems pretty cool.