Ed Ranks the Remaining Game of Thrones Characters by How Likely They Will Die

This didn't work out too well for me when I tried it with The Walking Dead, but whatever. I'm over that now. I've moved on with my life.

Here are 36 characters who I have deemed to be the "most important" remaining characters left in HBO's Game of Thrones. Sorry fans of Bronze Yohn Royce and Qhono, your characters don't make the cut. And despite how awesome Tim McInnerny is, Robett Glover doesn't make the cut either.

Part I - The "Will Definitely Live" Crew

36. Lyanna Mormont (Bella Ramsey) - This badass girl is basically unkillable.

35. Bran Stark (Isaac Hempstead-Wright) - I mean, considering that the Three-Eyed Raven is basically a time-traveling god now, it's going to be pretty hard to kill a time-traveling god. Right?

He can't die! Uhh...again.

34. Jon Snow (Kit Harington) - This guy is the hero of the show and I can't imagine they'd kill him off again (not that I believed the first death to be permanent). If anyone is a big enough dick to kill someone like Jon Snow off, bring him back, only to kill him again...it would be George R.R. Martin. But this show isn't by GRRM anymore, it's by the TV writers, and they have proved time and time again that they're likely to follow the traditional hero narratives, rather than GRRM's deconstruction and subversions of them. Also, the TV already lampshaded this possibility by having a scene before the Battle of the Bastards where Melisandre explicitly stated that maybe the Lord of Light brought Jon Snow back just to kill him again. If the TV writers really intended to bring back Jon Snow just to kill him again, there is no way that they would have included this scene in the show to explain it.

33. Samwell Tarly (John Bradley) - It's been a pretty solid fan theory for quite some time that the "A Song of Ice and Fire" is a volume about the history of Westeros, written by Sam Tarly about the age of the War of the Five Kings and the return of the White Walkers after centuries, concluding with the probable marriage alliance of the Houses Stark and Targaryen. Scenes in the TV show when Sam was at Old Town and mumbled about giving volumes more poetic names all but confirmed this theory. How can the guy who is actually the narrator of the entire Song of Ice and Fire die? The answer is that he can't and therefore won't.

Hasn't she suffered enough?

32. Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner) - I've seen some theories that Sansa could die in the last season. I just don't believe it. She has suffered way too much to just die after all of it. In reality, that's how life works and I wouldn't put it past GRRM to do something horrible like that. However, as noted above, the TV show isn't GRRM.

31. Brienne of Tarth (Gwendoline Christie) - Speaking of people who have suffered...yeesh. Poor Brienne has had a rough life. Her situation is even rougher in the books, where she's had a lot of her face chewed off by that cannibal who Arya let out of the cage in book/season 2. I don't know about the books, but I just don't think killing Brienne will add anything to the show at this point.

30. Gendry (Joe Dempsie) - I guess he could die. But why even bother killing Gendry? Hey! Speaking of not bothering...

Part II - The "Will Definitely Live, But Only Because We'll Never See Their Characters Again and their Ultimate Fate will Go Unmentioned" Crew

29. Meera Reed (Ellie Kendrick) - I would be super surprised if we saw Meera again. Sorry Meera-Bran shippers!

28. Jaqen H'ghar (Tom Wlaschiha) - I'm pretty sure he got his final send-off when Arya left the House of Black & White. He fulfilled his narrative purpose to train Arya and might as well just stay in Essos. At least in the show. As for the books, he's obviously up to some shady shit in Old Town, disguised as Pate.
 
27. Daario Naharis (Michiel Huisman) - Some people think Daario might come back as part of the Golden Company. I don't.

Part III - The "Will Most Likely Live, But No Guarantees" Crew

26.  Edmure Tully (Tobias Menzie) - I sort of want to include Edmure in the above "will never be mentioned again" section, but there was an episode cast "leak" which gave the impression that Edmure will appear again, which is odd. I'm not sure he actually will appear again though.

Boobs cropped out. Damn it!

25. Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke) - I could see Dany dying in some sort of way to fulfill some prophecy. Just like how Azor Ahai had to kill his beloved Nissa Nissa in order to forge Lightbringer, maybe Jon has to kill Dany to defeat the Night King. But yeah, probably not though.

24. Gilly (Hannah Murray) - I can see no narrative purpose for Gilly to die at all, and so I don't think she will.

23. Missandei (Nathalie Emmanuel) - The only reason Missandei would die is to just piss off Dany and make her lose her shit and start killing people like her dad, the Mad King. Which would be cool. But I don't think it will happen. 

Part IV - The "Could Honestly Go Either Way" Crew

22. Podrick Payne (Daniel Portman) - Eh, flip a coin on whether this is a character that is worth the time to kill off. Maybe. It would definitely be heartbreaking to watchers at home, as well as to other characters like Brienne, Tyrion, Bronn, etc. Therefore, I guess they could kill him.

21.  Robin Arryn (Lino Facioli) - Same as Edmure Tully above. I fully expected to never see Robin's sickly ass again, except there is a rumor based on an episode cast list that he will appear. If he actually does appear though, he's 100% a goner. So really this is a coin flip as to whether the cast leak saying that he appears is accurate.

20. Eddison Tollett  (Ben Crompton) - Part of me thinks that the White Walkers have just skipped Castle Black on their way to Winterfell, and that the show won't even bother to revisit the castle. The other part of me thinks that they'll finish everyone at the Wall off and maybe we'll see Dolorous Edd as a Wight.

19. Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage) - I'd hate to see Tyrion die, but of all the "main" book POV characters who you'd think would live to the end of the story - Tyrion is one of the most likely remaining one to die. But what do I know? How many people reading the first book thought Ned would die and eventually wind up being sympathetic to Jaime?

Insert "No One" Joke Here.

18. Arya Stark (Maisie Williams) - Beyond Tyrion, the only other "no way can they kill that person!" person who might die is Arya. I still hope not, but maybe the books have always been sending her on some direction to be Lady Stoneheart, and the show simply skipped the Catelyn version of Stoneheart to save the undead murdering queen fun for Arya.

Part V - The "Good Chance of Dying" Crew

17. Varys (Conleth Hill) - Yeah, Varys could probably die. Or maybe he won't, since he's been able to survive so long across so many different rulers.  It's far more likely that he'll die in the show than in the books though. He's up to some tricky shit in the books with that Fake Aegon, for sure!

16. Tormund Giantsbane (Kristofer Hivju) - He definitely has a good chance of dying. He's less important in the books, where he's headed on his way to Hardhome (which was depicted as a brutal massacre in the show). That probably doesn't bode well for him having any narrative need to survive to the end.

15. Bronn (Jerome Flynn) - Sure, you want him to get his castle (he already has in the books -  Castle Stokeworth). But he very well might not. Honestly, he should have died saving Jaime from the dragon fire in Season 7. 

Part VI - The "Will Almost Certainly Die" Crew

It's sort of hard to rank these last 14 characters, because I firmly believe that all 14 of them will die.  I know it's super hard to get 14/14 right, but I just see no way any of these guys or gals live. So I guess this will sort of be a mixture of how likely they are going to die (which for all of them I feel is well in the above 90% range) along with how important it is that their characters die for narrative purposes.

Gooooooldfinger. Doo doo doooo.

14. Jaime Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) - Don't get me wrong, putting Jaime at 14 doesn't mean I think he has a good chance of living. I mean he could, but the "redeemed asshole" narrative almost always ends with the redeemed asshole dying. If Jaime dies (which, again, I think he will), they should just rename the Redemption Equals Death trope after him because he will personify it.

13.  Davos Seaworth (Liam Cunningham) - Oh sure, you want this lovable old loyal man to live and continue to hit on Missandei like a creepy dad chatting up his daughter's friend. But Davos is almost certainly toast.

12. Qyburn (Anton Lesser) - The only reason I could see Qyburn not dying is if in the chaotic wars of the last few episodes, they simply forget to even mention him. I think this Undead Mountain-creating Dr. Frankenstein is simply too cooly villainous to not kill off though. 

11. Yara Greyjoy (Gemma Whelan) - Will Theon save her? Maybe! But she'll probably still die anyway.  Believing that the people of the Iron Islands will "live to change their ways and end reaving" is just not a believable commitment by Yara. All the Greyjoys basically have to die, although by a slight hair I'd say that Yara is the least likely to do so (still pretty likely though).

10. Euron Greyjoy (Pilou Asbæk) - The only way Euron lives is if he actually does what he said he was going to do at the end of Season 7 and runs away across the world, as far away from the White Walkers as possible. Cersei explains that was a lie though, and he doesn't actually plan on doing that. Which is his mistake. Dumbass.

9. Beric Dondarrion (Richard Dormer) - Beric and Tormund are together, so you'd think I'd rank their fates more similarly. But Beric is much more likely to die (yes, again...and this time permanently) than Tormund in my view. If for no other reason than the "to pass his power on to someone else" story. Although with Thoros dead now, do we even know if Beric can still do that? Eh. I dunno.

The night is dark and full of hot gingers.

8. Melisandre (Carice van Houten) - Davos will kill her. I have (almost) no doubt.

7. Grey Worm (Jacob Anderson) - He's going to be collateral damage of war. He just will be. Sorry, Missandei.

6. and 5. (Tie) - Sandor "The Hound" Clegane (Rory McCann) and Gregor "The Mountain" Clegane (Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson) - Ladies and Gentlemen, it is the final season and the Clegane-Bowl is happening! They will both die. Probably fighting each other.

4. Night King (Vladimir Furdik) - Yeah, he is going to be defeated. He just will be. Honestly, it would be crazy weird if he isn't.

3. Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey) - I know there is something enjoyable about the "Wouldn't it be hilarious if Cersei Lannister is the one who lives and winds up on the throne in the end?" theory that a lot of people have been postulating. Is that the type of thing GRRM would do? Yeah, I suppose. But there are just too many things that have been completely accurate in the Maggy the Frog prophecies for the last part of the prophecy (Cersei dies, being choked by the hands of the Valonqar) to not come true. It would just be a glaring, annoying plothole. Jaime is the most likely Valonqar ("little brother") because the books go out of their way to drop a hint that Jaime was born second (and would hence also be a little brother to Cersei, despite being her twin). The only other option is Cersei dying from childbirth to a boy, which would be another "little brother" of sorts. While the books don't go outright in saying Cersei is pregnant like the show, there is a book scene where she complains about her shrunk clothes not fitting properly because her stupid maids don't know how to wash them right. While this scene serves the immediate point of reiterating that Cersei is a total bitch, its more subtle point is to show that she's a frequently oblivious bitch that doesn't realize she is pregnant yet (hence the tighter clothes). Given that the show pregnancy is probably being driven by the subtle book pregnancy, it looks like this pregnancy will actually serve an important plot point in both narratives - potentially related to the valonqar. I'd still prefer it be Jaime though.

2. Jorah Mormont (Iain Glen) - Jorah will never get Dany. So he will have to wind up dying for her in the friendzone. But then again, we've always known this would be his fate. Sam curing his Greyscale was just delaying the inevitable.

Doomed.

1. Theon Greyjoy (Alfie Allen)

The only person who the redemption = death narrative may apply to more than Jaime is goddamn Theon. While Jaime has an unlikely, outside shot of surviving, I estimate Theon's chances of survival to be roughly the same as the chances of survival after fucking with John Wick's dog.