8. Newdale Soil, the official Soil of Manitoba - Yep, Manitoba has an official dirt. It's technically called Orthic Black Chernozem. Doesn't that fill you with excitement?
7. Big Bluesteam, the official Grass of Manitoba - Also known as Andropogon gerardi. A mid-successional grass in prairie ecosystems. It grows in tall, dense stands that shade out other plant species. At least it's slightly more interesting than dirt since it grows.
6. White Spruce, the official Tree of Manitoba - A big evergreen tree. Enjoy picking those damn pine cones up from everywhere under it. And all that sap. Worthless, worthless sap that doesn't even turn into maple syrup.
5. Walleye, the official Fish of Manitoba - Called pickerel in some places. This fish is super Canadian and can pretty much only be found in Canada or the northern United States. So think about catching some of these the next time you go fishing in Manitoba. I guess. Whatever.
4. Prairie Crocus, the official Flower of Manitoba - Okay, we get it Manitoba. You're a prairie place. You have prairie dirt and prairie grass and prairie flowers. Can you think of anything else that is evocative of prairies while you're at it?
3. Plains Bison, the official Mammal of Manitoba - Nice. Good one, Manitoba. You called my bluff and you prairie-ed me once again with the ultimate prairie animal. Everyone loves bison. So large and majestic. Hopefully, you did a better job at not killing them all up there in Canada than we shitty Americans did down here.
2. Great Grey Owl, the official Bird of Manitoba - Oh yeah, owls are awesome. I love me some owls. Good work. You could have been basic and chosen some type of loon, goose, dove or hawk. But you didn't. You chose that creepy bird that has the ability to stare right through your soul.
1. Mosasaur, the official Fossil of Manitoba - Oh geez, will you look at this thing? This is so awesome. I don't know what this is, but I'm not even going to be able to sleep tonight looking at its haunting skeleton. This thing is total nightmare fuel. It used to live in Canada? I am so damn glad that this thing went extinct in the K-Pg event 66 million years ago. Which I will remind everyone was caused by Adric. This looks like a dominant marine predator here if I ever saw one.
.jpg/1280px-Andropogon_gerardii_(3904160434).jpg) |
| Behold... grass! |
6. White Spruce, the official Tree of Manitoba - A big evergreen tree. Enjoy picking those damn pine cones up from everywhere under it. And all that sap. Worthless, worthless sap that doesn't even turn into maple syrup.
5. Walleye, the official Fish of Manitoba - Called pickerel in some places. This fish is super Canadian and can pretty much only be found in Canada or the northern United States. So think about catching some of these the next time you go fishing in Manitoba. I guess. Whatever.
4. Prairie Crocus, the official Flower of Manitoba - Okay, we get it Manitoba. You're a prairie place. You have prairie dirt and prairie grass and prairie flowers. Can you think of anything else that is evocative of prairies while you're at it?
3. Plains Bison, the official Mammal of Manitoba - Nice. Good one, Manitoba. You called my bluff and you prairie-ed me once again with the ultimate prairie animal. Everyone loves bison. So large and majestic. Hopefully, you did a better job at not killing them all up there in Canada than we shitty Americans did down here.
2. Great Grey Owl, the official Bird of Manitoba - Oh yeah, owls are awesome. I love me some owls. Good work. You could have been basic and chosen some type of loon, goose, dove or hawk. But you didn't. You chose that creepy bird that has the ability to stare right through your soul.
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| Why does it have to make that "Pun Dog" face? |
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