There are a ton of Olsens out there. I can't rank every single one of them. Here are ten Olsens, ranked:
10. Mary-Kate Olsen - When Heath Ledger's body was found by a masseuse (weird)... the first person the masseuse called was not the police, but Mary-Kate Olsen (also weird). What's up with that? Was Mary-Kate Olsen part of some crazy conspiracy to kill Heath Ledger? Damn you, Mary-Kate fore preventing us from A Knight's Tale 2.
9. Scott Olsen - Pitcher for the Florida Marlins. Meh.
8. Ashley Olsen - Mary-Kate's twin sister, so pretty much the same, right? I can't rank them that far apart. This one didn't murder Heath Ledger though. ALLEGEDLY!!! There, now I assume I can't be sued?
7. John Olsen - He was the 42nd Premier of South Australia. Did any of the people below on this list become Premiers of South Australia? No!
6. Susan Olsen - Cindy Brady on The Brady Bunch. Remember? The youngest one in curls.
5. Merlin Olsen - Hall of Fame NFL American football player and TV color commentator. Solid career. Plus an awesome name.
4. Bjørnar Olsen - Speaking of awesome names, this guy only gets ranked because his name is Bjørnar!!!! Holy crap, how cool of a name is that? Who is this guy? Some Norwegian archaeologist or something.
2. Jimmy Olsen - Can I rank a fictional character mixed up with real people? Sure. This is Superman's buddy who works for the Daily Planet.
1. Elizabeth Olsen - Scarlet Witch, who has no culpability in the murder of Heath Ledger [ALLEGEDLY!!!], like her sisters. Still, it's weird that she and Aaron Taylor-Johnson played brother-and-sister and then husband-and-wife in back-to-back movies, right?
10. Mary-Kate Olsen - When Heath Ledger's body was found by a masseuse (weird)... the first person the masseuse called was not the police, but Mary-Kate Olsen (also weird). What's up with that? Was Mary-Kate Olsen part of some crazy conspiracy to kill Heath Ledger? Damn you, Mary-Kate fore preventing us from A Knight's Tale 2.
9. Scott Olsen - Pitcher for the Florida Marlins. Meh.
8. Ashley Olsen - Mary-Kate's twin sister, so pretty much the same, right? I can't rank them that far apart. This one didn't murder Heath Ledger though. ALLEGEDLY!!! There, now I assume I can't be sued?
7. John Olsen - He was the 42nd Premier of South Australia. Did any of the people below on this list become Premiers of South Australia? No!
6. Susan Olsen - Cindy Brady on The Brady Bunch. Remember? The youngest one in curls.
5. Merlin Olsen - Hall of Fame NFL American football player and TV color commentator. Solid career. Plus an awesome name.
4. Bjørnar Olsen - Speaking of awesome names, this guy only gets ranked because his name is Bjørnar!!!! Holy crap, how cool of a name is that? Who is this guy? Some Norwegian archaeologist or something.
3. Ole Olsen - A Danish speedway rider and three-time World Champion.
2. Jimmy Olsen - Can I rank a fictional character mixed up with real people? Sure. This is Superman's buddy who works for the Daily Planet.
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