Ed Ranks Songs on A7X's City of Evil (2005)

Pre-2005 Metalcore Avenged Sevenfold is mediocre, everybody knows that.  And now that I've gotten that blanket statement out of the way:

11. Strength of the World (9:14) - Geez, a song over nine minutes? What is this, a Guns N' Roses vanity album? Ain't nobody got time for that.

10. The Wicked End (7:10) - Mary. Six Hundred and Sixty Six. Apples. Adam. Way too many biblical references. Who has time for all this bible stuff in an A7X song? Am I trying to rock out or is this Sunday school? Oh wait... what's that? The name Avenged Sevenfold itself is already Genesis 4:24 reference?  Ah, never mind then. It's not like this is a bad song. Every song on this album is good. Why else would A7X have won MTV's best new artist award that year over people like Rhianna and Chris Brown. Hey, I wonder whatever happened to those two.

9. Blinded in Chains (6:34) - Shouldn't it be binded in chains? No wait. That's poor English. It would be "bound" in chains. Forget I said anything. So they blind someone and put them in chains? Hey WAIT A MINUTE... is this a reference to Byzantine Emperor Isaac II and the Fourth Crusade?

8. Sidewinder (7:01) - Why aren't songs from the POV of crotalus cerastes rattlesnakes more popular? I know, I know--it's possible the "sidewinder" could also be referring to Bitis peringueyi pitviper of Namibia and southern Angola. But  A7X is from Huntington Beach, so I'm going to assume it's the aforementioned Crotalus genus of the southwestern United States.

7. M.I.A. (8:48) - A song about war and soldiers dying. That's pretty metal. But also long. Super long.

6. Seize the Day (5:32) - Speaking of talking about dying, Seize the Day talks about dying a lot. But talking about seizing the day and living life to the fullest before you die? How metal is that? Not very.

5. Trashed and Scattered (5:53) - What the hell does "Sedated nights to the bar room fights as metropolis takes its toll" even mean? Are these just random words strung together?

4. Betrayed (6:47) - This song is pretty obviously about Dimebag Darrell.

3. Burn It Down (5:00) - "Hatred fuels my blood, I'll burn ya down. One king to watch the horsemen fall, I'll fight 'til the end. I can't trust anyone, see it in my eyes. Now I can understand, it's sorrow that feeds your lies." Now those are proper metal lyrics, people. This is also City of Evil's shortest song, at just 5 minutes. Which is exactly two "Them Bones by Alice in Chains" (TBbAiC) long. I typically measure all songs in TBbAiCs. "Stairway to Heaven?" 4.016 TBbAiCs. "American Pie?" 4.275 TBbAiCs.

2. Beast and the Harlot (5:42) - Another bible-ey song, but this one is super super awesome. It's all about the fall of Babylon, Dante's Inferno, and the Book of Revelation. But more important is that main riff though. Total Guitar magazine called it the 14th greatest guitar riff of all time. Or at least Wikipedia says that Total Guitar magazine says that. Who am I to do independent research of my own? This is Ed Ranks Everything, not the New York Times. This song also segues nicely into "Burn it Down."

Yes. This.

1. Bat Country (5:13) - I know (now) that this is supposed to be a reference to Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, but honestly this is just "the Castlevania song" to me. Well, actually almost every song from an A7X album sounds like it could be a cover of some background music to a Castlevania video game. And that's why A7X is awesome. But really, all this talk about bats and stuff. I was sure this was supposed to be a reference to Simon questing against Dracula and all his bats and shit. Whatever, in my head this song is still exactly about that.

• "Caught here in a fiery blaze" - referring to the fire whip, obviously. 
• "I tried to drive on through the night" - referring to powering through the day/night switch in Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest (e.g. What a horrible night for a curse), obviously. 
• "Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction" - a warning to not waste your potions when you are near full HP, obviously.
• "As I adjust to my new sights" - referring to the Timeless Vision ability used by Alucard in Castlevania: Revelations, obviously. 
• "I'll make a beast out of myself" - referring to Grant Danasty, who was turned into a monster by Dracula's magic in Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse, obviously.
• "These good ideas will tear your brains apart" - Brain Floats, obviously.
• "Scared but you can follow me" - again, referring to the optional Castlevania III companions that can follow you, obviously. 
• And so on.