Ed Ranks Dinner Options

Pictured: A wide variety of food options I presently don't have

Oh crap! It's 8:42PM EST on a Friday night and I haven't even eaten anything yet.  I better weigh my options...

10. Make something from scratch - Hahaha, no. As I just said, it is 8:42 on a Friday night. It is too late and I do not want to do all that work.

9. There is some leftover kimchi in the fridge - Kimchi just by itself? I have nothing to have it with. Spicy fermented cabbage and radishes with salty fish sauce is not what I'm looking for right now.

8. What about that apple? - No thanks. I think there is a bad spot on it. I guess it could cut that spot out. But an apple wouldn't be enough. I'd still be hungry afterwards.

7. A hand full of French's© Fried Onions - That is not a meal, that is a snack and it's totally going to throw off my calorie count for the day. I have to stay under 2000!  Also, you don't eat this by itself. You need to make that green bean casserole thing to go with it. And I just said I'm not making anything from scratch.

6. Okay then, there is nothing to eat here. You might as well go out to eat somewhere - No. It's late and it's cold. And I'm too lazy. I'd have to put on clothes and stuff.

5. Wait! Soup! You have some soup! That will be easy to warm up! - Yes, but I think like with the apple it won't be enough. I'd need a little more than that. Also that's leftovers too and I just had it yesterday.

4. Okay, so what about the soup PLUS the apple? - I dunno. The soup is tortilla soup. Does tortilla soup go well with apples? Plus I don't even have any tortillas left to put in the tortilla soup because I used the last of the tortillas when I had the soup yesterday. 

3. Order pizza delivery! That way you don't have to get up or put clothes on. Also, you'll have leftovers tomorrow! - No, I'm boycotting Papa Johns and I'm not sure Dominos delivers here. I mean maybe they do, but it's sort of far. I don't have cash either. I know I could order it online and use my credit card, but I prefer to use cash so that the guy gets a tip. You can tip online, but I bet the manager screws the delivery person and does some crap like split all the tip money with the bad employees and even keeps some for himself.

My favorite brand: generic

2. Give up and have nothing. It's either that or just spoon peanut butter directly out of the jar - Tempting.

1. Okay... just suck it up and eat the tortilla soup without tortillas. Then take the apple and cut the bad spot out. Then put PEANUT BUTTER on the apple. Peanut butter + apple = magic. Does tortilla soup go with apples and peanut butter? No, it doesn't. But you have no other options. Suck it up, do it, and quit your complaining. If you're still hungry afterwards, have a big glass of water and keep having water until you're full - We have a winner.