10. Unemployment - Unemployment happens to all of us sometimes. It's nothing to be ashamed of. As soon as the 1984 World Expo was done... we all knew its mascot would be out of work! There were plenty of things that Seymore D. Fair could have done to bounce back. Alas, he squandered all his opportunities.
9. Forced to Wash Dishes at Dookie Chase - At the time we all laughed at this. In 1986 Seymore D. Fair didn't have any cash on him and his Diner's Club card was declined when attempting to pay for his meal at Dookie Chase - the famed Tremé creole establishment that was a major part of the Civil Rights movement a generation before. It was kind of funny that the once-famous pelican mascot now couldn't pay for a meal and had to work as a busboy and dishwasher for a few hours to pay for his meal. Boy did the local news have fun with that for a few evenings! In hindsight though... it was the first step of a life spiraling out of control.
8. Found Stealing Food from Other Birds at Audubon Zoo Aviary - Sure, everybody will recall the big story from the zoo in 1987... when an alligator nest was discovered with 18 babies with white hides, a natural mutation (different from albinism) called "leucism." Those white alligators became an instant success and symbol of the zoo! But what's less well remembered from 1987? The fact that Seymore D. Fair was found living inside the aviary, pretending to be a Taveta Golden Weaver and stealing food from other birds. Since he is a pelican it took a while for the authorities to figure it out, but he was eventually booted out of the zoo and banned from ever returning.
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| Seen here passed out drunk (on a different occasion). |
6. Caught Looting on Poydras Street during Katrina - Obviously the summer of 2005 was a rough time for New Orleans and there was a lot of tragedy. Almost completely forgotten among the other stories was the fact that Seymore D. Fair broke into a drug store on Poydras Street and stole bags and bags of prescription painkillers. After years of substance abuse it had been though that Seymore had finally cleaned up his act in 2005 - but obviously everyone was wrong about that. In light of all the other chaos going on though, Seymore wound up getting off without an arrest.
5. Slapped with a Restraining Order for Stalking Hugo the Hornet - In 2002, the Charlotte Hornets packed up and moved to the New Orleans Arena (known today as the Smoothie King Center). With the team came their buzzing mascot, Hugo. It wasn't long before Hugo had an admirer - Seymore D. Fair. But soon admiration turned into obsession. Seymore D. Fair wouldn't leave Hugo the Hornet alone. He snuck into games to see him. He wrote him fan letters. He followed him everywhere he went. When Hugo didn't respond back with the love Seymore wanted, the letters turned violent and spoke of sick, murderous fantasies about them dying together. The New Orleans Hornets obviously sent the letters to the police and Seymore D. Fair was slapped with a "Stay Away" provision that prevented him with coming within 300 feet of Hugo or the New Orleans Arena. He was also given mandatory counseling and prohibited from owning any firearms. The counseling seemed to have worked - as Seymore stayed clean for the next few years. It was only after the Katrina looting incident that people realized Seymore had relapsed.
4. Kicked out of Pat O'Brien's (and later Tujague's) for Using Racial Slurs - In a one week period between November 12 and November 18, 2006, Seymore D. Fair was famously kicked out of not only Pat O'Brien's (he obviously couldn't cold his Hurricanes)... but also famed restaurant Tujaque's. At the latter location he went on a several minute tirade that began with his dissatisfaction over the lack of spiciness of their shrimp remoulade and ended with a barrage of ethnic slurs against Blacks, Hispanics and Asians. It might have been largely forgotten, but with the new proliferation of smart phones and the meteoric rise of the new website "YouTube"earlier that year (it had been acquired by Google just a month prior) - the tirade was caught on video and shared with millions of people. It was the beginning of the end for Seymore D. Fair. Three months later, he'd be found dead.
3. Arrested/Jailed for Solicitation at The Corner Pocket - A New Orleans institution since the early 80's, filmmaker John Waters has called the somewhat kitschy gay club his "go-to" bar when he's in the city. Seymore D. Fair decided to solicit a minor for sex there in September 1993. Unfortunately for Seymore, it was actually an undercover cop. Usually being a john gets you a slap on the wrist, but Seymore's explicit asks of the undercover cop wanting to indeed "make sure that he was fourteen" cemented harsh prosecution. The trial wasn't over until February 1994, and afterwards Seymore spent over the next three years in prison until he was released early in the summer of 1997. Obviously the jury didn't fall for his defense that he was "talking about fourteen in bird years."
2. Arrested Doing Meth Behind Cafe Du Monde in Broad Daylight - In February 1998, just six months after being released from prison, Seymore D. Fair was back at it again. This time he was caught with a massive EIGHT grams of meth, right behind the legendary coffee and beignet shop Cafe Du Monde - by a parking lot near the train tracks. At 1PM, no less! It was a tremendous and continued public fall from grace from the avian mascot that was once ironically connected to the Nancy Reagan-affiliated "Critters & Kids Just Say NO to Drugs" campaign. Seymore claimed that all eight grams of meth were for his personal use, and based on how high he was it was totally plausible that he was a user and not a dealer. Still, Seymore went back behind bars and wasn't released until August 2001.
1. Corpse Fished Out of Bayou St. John - Was there any other way this whole tragedy could end? On the chilly morning of Saturday, February 17, 2007 the body of Seymore D. Fair was found floating in Bayou St. John, not far from the pedestrian walking bridge by Cabrini High on Moss Street. Although it has gotten to be as cold as 28°F that night, it was not the cold water that killed him. Seymore had multiple stab wounds in his torso and his left wing had been partially sliced off. No suspect or motive for the killing was ever found.
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