Happy 100th post!
100. Ed Ranks the Miss Saudi Arabia 2016 Contestants - I guess this was supposed to come off as pro-Human rights and pro-Women by sarcastically zinging Saudi Arabia. The end result probably just comes off Islamophobic, right?
99. Ed Ranks Who Negan Will Kill Sunday, From Least to Most Likely - Well, I fucked this one up.
98. Ed Ranks Ten More Random Articles on Wikipedia - The only thing lazier than ranking ten random articles on Wikipedia is doing the exact same thing a second time.
97. Ed Ranks Chokes More Epic than the Falcons in Super Bowl LI - I forgot that I had already basically done this "super short one sentence ranking" joke before with the Herbalist Monk thing.
96. Ed Ranks Arabic Numerals - Filler post, I won't lie. How interesting is it to rank 0 through 9?
95. Ed Ranks 4XX Error Codes By How Epic They Sound - The truth is that NONE of them particularly sound epic.
94. Ed Ranks things that "DNO" Stands For - I honestly don't remember doing this one.
93. Ed Ranks Fictional Herbalist Benedictine Monks who Solve Murder Mysteries - This is still hilarious to me but I think we can all accept that I put zero minutes of work into it.
92. Ed Ranks 8 Classic Books that are Horrible - I only wrote this because I wanted to tell everybody how much I fucking hate Ethan Frome. The rest I just Googled and stole ideas from other people who wrote about similar topics.
91. Ed Ranks Seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer - I did this all based off of vague memories of a show I haven't seen an episode of for well over a decade.
90. Ed Ranks Rankings - Anyone who saw the title should have instantly known what #1 was going to be.
89. Ed Ranks Seasons of "House of Cards" - The fact that I ranked the (then only) four seasons of House of Cards when I had only even watched two and a half of the seasons was kind of a bitch move. Now that I've seen Season 4 I'd say it's on par with Season 2. Not sure which one I'd say is better. I'd probably have to do a re-watch.
88. Ed Ranks Ten Random Articles on Wikipedia - This is the type of thing I do when I have George R.R. Martin levels of writer's block.
87. Ed Ranks the 100 Ed Ranks Everything Posts - I'm ranking a hundred damn things?! UGH. TOO LONG. And yes, "Ed Ranks All 100 Ed Ranks Everything Posts" is indeed one of the 100 posts that is ranked in "Ed Ranks All 100 Ed Ranks Everything Posts."
86. Ed Ranks the Top 10 Reasons Brangelina Are Getting Divorced - Attempts to be topical are always spotty at best.
85. Ed Ranks the Seasons - Probably took you just as long to read it as it took me to write it. I spent more time looking for pictures to hotlink to than I did writing anything.
84. Ed Ranks Social Media - Instagram is obviously the best. Why bother having a list? That would be like if I ranked colors of the sky. Blue wins. Duh.
83. Ed Ranks Doctor Who Spinoffs - According to Google Analytics, I only have about four regular readers for this blog anyway. I think absolutely zero of those four people care about Doctor Who spinoff media.
82. Ed Ranks Santa Claus's Reindeer, By Name - The second of two Christmas posts in a row. Wouldn't just one have sufficed?
81. Ed Ranks the Top 10 Most Adorable Animals - Ed Ranks Everything is known for sarcasm and swear words. Yet at one magical time is was also known for cute animal pictures. Just like your aunt's Facebook feed.
76 to 80. Ed Ranks the United States (Parts 1 through 5) - I like these five and put quite some work into them. It actually involved crunching all sorts of numbers. But there are a million other people who have ranked the states so nothing was really that unique.
75. Ed Ranks the Alphabet - So arbitrary. I bet if I wasn't allowed to see this ranking and was told to rewrite it again I'd come up with completely different rankings with some letters falling way down or rising way up.
74. Ed Ranks Aerosmith Albums - As with the last one, my opinions about the order of several of these would probably change depending on my mood any given week.
73. Ed Ranks the Top 5 Charlie Murphy Sketches that AREN'T True Hollywood Stories - When I came up with the idea for this list I thought he was in a lot more sketches than he actually was in.
72. Ed Ranks Countries by Food - An attempt to capture the same magic as ranking countries by beer. A failed attempt.
71. Ed Ranks the Taco Bell Menu - This list is technically about food too. But only technically.
70. Ed Ranks Fruit - There are so many fruit I left out. Eventually I just figured, "enough."
69. Ed Ranks the 10 Most Annoying Deus ex Machina Film Endings - Heh, 69. I just had to click on this one to remember anything about it. So it's obviously not that memorable.
68. Ed Ranks the 13 Worst Game of Thrones Book-to-Show Story Changes - I just did this one a few days ago. It's super hard to rank posts that I just did. It's like trying to determine the legacy of a President or an athlete while they're still in office / playing. It lacks the hilariousness of the Gendry one.
67. Ed Ranks the Planets - We all knew the winner would be Earth, right?
66. Ed Ranks Things His Fellow White People Should Avoid Doing this Black History Month - Solid advice for any month.
65. Ed Ranks the 1985 Transformers Toy Catalogue - I feel like there is a better Transformers ranking I could have done than this one. I just don't know what it is though.
64. Ed Ranks Eurozone Countries by their €1 Coins - This one would have been a lot better if I had included pictures of all, rather than just some, of the Eurozone coins I'm talking about. This definitely needed more pictures.
63. Ed Ranks US Federal Holidays - I'm 80% sure that the picture of the "American" July 4 eagle in this ranking was taken in Canada, which is awesome. The image credit says it was taken on the Alsek River, which does run through Alaska - but mostly runs through the Yukon Territory and British Columbia.
61 to 62. Ed Ranks Hardboiled Private Detectives (Parts 1 and 2) - Still regret putting stupid ass Perry Mason on this thing. Seriously, PRETEND #10 says Spenser for Hire!
60. Ed Ranks 2016 Halloween Costumes by Awfulness - Thought this would be funnier. At least every entry was accompanied by a picture, unlike the Eurozone coin thing.
59. You'll NEVER Guess How Ed Ranks Clickbait Headlines. #7 Will SHOCK You! - I hate Clickbait so much it even makes me hate this ranking a little.
58. Ed Ranks Things Happening When the Cast of "Stranger Things" Were Born - Way to make myself feel old AF.
57. Ed Ranks Other Obsolete Things that Should Go Away Like "The Greatest Show on Earth" - Quickly wrote this one to try to be topical. Meh. The title is also way too long.
56. Ed Ranks the Chinese Zodiac Animals - Cock.
55. Ed Ranks the Greek Pantheon - Greek gods are kind of awesome. But again, hard to rank the more recent ones I wrote.
54. Ed Ranks Movies You Don't Need to Own (Because they're Always on TV) - Same as above. I just wrote it so it's hard to put it anywhere other than the middle.
53. Ed Ranks the Main Characters of Star Trek: The Next Generation - Picard was always going to be #1 so why did I bother? And how the hell is Geordi La Forge only #6? Was I drunk when writing this?
52. Ed Ranks "Fun" Fall Activities - This was a list I once did. That's about all I have to say about it.
51. Ed Arbitrarily Ranks Teeth According to Nonsensical Personalities Assigned to Them - If you go back and actually read the title of this ranking, you'll see that I spelled "Nonsensical" incorrectly. I still think this one is kind of cute.
50. Ed Ranks 15 Conspiracy Theories - I start this one right off with Holocaust denial and 9/11. Way to ruin everyone's mood, Ed.
49. Ed Ranks the Emails in his Spam Box - I wish my spam box had been just a little more interesting.
48. Ed Ranks the Gifts of the Twelve Days of Christmas - I still have no clue what I'd do with eleven useless lords-a-leaping and all those shitting birds.
47. Ed Ranks Films which SHOULD Have Won the 65th Academy Award for Best Picture - Was this a one-joke article written just to set up the ludicrous proposition that Honeymoon in Vegas is better than Unforgiven? Like the licks to the center of a Tootsie Pop, the world may never know.
46. Ed Ranks the Top 10 Alan Rickman Roles - Probably done too soon after the similar Gary Oldman one.
45. Ed Ranks the 12 Causes of Death in The Jim Carroll Band's "People Who Died" - Some of these are just really awful ways to go out.
44. Ed Ranks the Horrific Abominations that Will Kill You in Australia - Snakes freak me out, man. What is wrong with this death zone?
43. Ed Ranks Batmen - RIP Adam West.
42. Ed Ranks 5 New Goddamn Pumpkin Spice Products this Fall, Probably - I liked this one a lot more until I learned that there were 20 other pages that did similar jokes after a quick search.
41. Ed Ranks Old Pictures From His External Hard Drive - Stupid, but an interesting look into the past that made me question what I was doing in my late teens and early 20's.
40. Ed Ranks the Top 10 Lists that He Will Never Do at Ed Ranks Everything - I guess the fact that one of the first rankings I did was about rankings I wouldn't do at a site that says I will rank "everything" undermines the very premise of the whole "everything" thing. Did I make this point in the ranking itself? I don't remember and am too lazy to read it. I hate reading the things I write. Surely you can tell that by all the spelljng errors.
39. Ed Ranks Doctor Who Companions - A list that's instantly out of date! I guess I'd put the new companion Bill somewhere... uhh... between Zoe and River? And how did this list not have a picture of Zoe in that tight jumpsuit? Worthless.
38. Ed Ranks BBQ - It's really all delicious so long as you don't dry it out.
37. Ed Ranks the Top 15 Sesame Street Muppets - Who won again? Was it the Yip Yips? (*checks rankings*) Oh. Grover. Yeah, that makes sense. I own a Grover tie. He's great.
36. Ed Ranks the Top 10 Board Games - How the hell is Fireball Island no longer being made? Children are being deprived of an amazing game. It makes no sense that boring-ass Monopoly is more famous than Fireball Island.
35. Ed Ranks James Bond Films - I like this list. Not original though. Tons of other people rank these films. I should try to avoid ranking stuff that everyone else ranks.
34. Ed Ranks the Top 10 Grunge Bands - After Chris Cornell died I kind of felt like a dick that Soundgarden was only #4. I even said in the entry itself that Cornell had the best voice. But what am I going to do? Not make STP #1? I had to make STP #1 just to piss everyone off since STP is from California rather than Washington.
33. Ed Ranks the Potential Causes of Death of Cyrus the Great - I really, really like this one. But then again, I'm a history major. And I wrote it. So there's that.
32. Ed Ranks the Cast of The Mummy (1999) - I think the box office results of the latest Mummy reboot prove that nothing can top this film.
31. Ed Ranks the Main Characters of Dawson's Creek - All references to Dawson's Creek I make in life continue to be one long in-joke and I don't care that nobody else gets it.
30. Ed Ranks the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World - Only seven things? How easy to rank! Much easier than ranking 100 things. I'm exhausted. Is anyone still reading this?
29. Ed Ranks the Marshmallow Shapes in Lucky Charms - I still can't get over the fact that there isn't just a simple clover shape anymore.
28. Ed Ranks Possible Things that Happened to Mira Sorvino - All of these are 100% plausible and I stand by this absurd ranking. I will admit that the "eaten by a shark" bit was stolen from an old Conan joke about what ever happened to Axl Rose.
27. Ed Ranks Baseball Positions - I firmly believe this ranking has helped to educate people about baseball. Sorry all offended Third Basemen, you suck.
26. Ed Ranks the Seven Deadly Sins - WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!
25. Ed Ranks 10 Disney Villains by Evilness - Elsa really is a monster and you're just going to have to accept it, Stephanie.
24. Ed Ranks The Impressionists - Who doesn't love the Impressionists? Except for Renoir. Fuck that guy.
23. Ed Ranks People You Meet in the Bar (and their Arch Nemeses) - The loud guy at the bar with the young escort is totally a real story.
22. Ed Ranks 25 X-Men Superpowers - If you disagree with Phoenix then you're stupid. Full stop.
21. Ed Ranks US Presidents By Facial Hair - After ranking English monarchs someone suggested I also rank U.S. Presidents. So I did this instead. It was absolutely the correct way to go.
20. Ed Ranks the Top 10 Gary Oldman Roles - Gary Oldman is great but I honestly haven't seen like four of the films on the list. Maybe more. How many stupid Harry Potter films was he in?
17 to 19. Ed Ranks the Crusades (Parts 1 through 3) - I love these and I get to rank things... so I can rank them this high. But I realize that they are way too long and probably nobody actually read them who wasn't already interested in history and therefore pretty much knew about them and didn't need to read them.
16. Ed Ranks 12 Dudes with "Oscar" or "Isaac" in Their Name - You're all just going to have to accept that about once every twelve rankings or so I'm going to find a way to fit in that video of Oscar Isaac and Sonoya Mizuno dancing in Ex Machina.
15. Ed Ranks Alternative Facts About Kellyanne Conway - This one was surprisingly more popular than I thought it would be. Someone picked it up and shared it on some website and it got a pretty substantial view count. Well, a pretty substantial view count for my shitty blog.
13 to 14. Ed Ranks the Top 5 Best/Worst Summer Olympic Sports - My first two posts set the tone. Good for them. Handball and Water Polo really are so sweet and I can't wait for 2020.
12. Ed Ranks Viceroys of Min-Zhe - I love this one. I understand nobody else does. It's just so damn random.
11. Ed Ranks Your Horrific Oregon Trail Deaths - You have died of shitting blood.
10. Ed Ranks Insightful Comments on a Breitbart Article About an Emma Watson Film - Ah, glorious website comments sections.
9. Ed Ranks 10 Better Candidates for President than Donald Trump - Racist Goat 2016!
6 to 8. Ed Ranks the Monarchs of England (Parts 1 through 3) - These are meticulously researched and put together. I was also super excited about writing them. Too long? Yep.
5. Ed Ranks 38 Punchlines to "I Like My Coffee Like I Like My Women..." - You should be using all of these jokes on a regular basis around everyone you know. These are all gold.
4. Ed Ranks Countries By Beer - I stand by #1, but Germany could easily climb up another one or two depending on my mood.
3. Ed Ranks Other Things WNBA Teams Could Be - Photoshopping a Mariners hat onto Storm from X-Men is my own personal magnum opus.
2. Ed Ranks Colors in the Crayola 64 Box - My third ever post and a masterstroke that I think of whenever I think about what a good Ed Ranks Everything should look like. These are the types of basic, random things I like ranking.
1. Ed Ranks the Top 5 Game of Thrones Theories that He Just Made Up Right Now - I started writing this one as an honest and detailed post about all the best Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire fan theories out there. It probably would have been accompanied by a "worst theories" one as well, just like how the Olympics rankings had best and worst. Then I got lazy and just did this instead. I am extremely happy with the result.
100. Ed Ranks the Miss Saudi Arabia 2016 Contestants - I guess this was supposed to come off as pro-Human rights and pro-Women by sarcastically zinging Saudi Arabia. The end result probably just comes off Islamophobic, right?
99. Ed Ranks Who Negan Will Kill Sunday, From Least to Most Likely - Well, I fucked this one up.
98. Ed Ranks Ten More Random Articles on Wikipedia - The only thing lazier than ranking ten random articles on Wikipedia is doing the exact same thing a second time.
97. Ed Ranks Chokes More Epic than the Falcons in Super Bowl LI - I forgot that I had already basically done this "super short one sentence ranking" joke before with the Herbalist Monk thing.
96. Ed Ranks Arabic Numerals - Filler post, I won't lie. How interesting is it to rank 0 through 9?
95. Ed Ranks 4XX Error Codes By How Epic They Sound - The truth is that NONE of them particularly sound epic.
94. Ed Ranks things that "DNO" Stands For - I honestly don't remember doing this one.
93. Ed Ranks Fictional Herbalist Benedictine Monks who Solve Murder Mysteries - This is still hilarious to me but I think we can all accept that I put zero minutes of work into it.
92. Ed Ranks 8 Classic Books that are Horrible - I only wrote this because I wanted to tell everybody how much I fucking hate Ethan Frome. The rest I just Googled and stole ideas from other people who wrote about similar topics.
91. Ed Ranks Seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer - I did this all based off of vague memories of a show I haven't seen an episode of for well over a decade.
90. Ed Ranks Rankings - Anyone who saw the title should have instantly known what #1 was going to be.
89. Ed Ranks Seasons of "House of Cards" - The fact that I ranked the (then only) four seasons of House of Cards when I had only even watched two and a half of the seasons was kind of a bitch move. Now that I've seen Season 4 I'd say it's on par with Season 2. Not sure which one I'd say is better. I'd probably have to do a re-watch.
88. Ed Ranks Ten Random Articles on Wikipedia - This is the type of thing I do when I have George R.R. Martin levels of writer's block.
87. Ed Ranks the 100 Ed Ranks Everything Posts - I'm ranking a hundred damn things?! UGH. TOO LONG. And yes, "Ed Ranks All 100 Ed Ranks Everything Posts" is indeed one of the 100 posts that is ranked in "Ed Ranks All 100 Ed Ranks Everything Posts."
86. Ed Ranks the Top 10 Reasons Brangelina Are Getting Divorced - Attempts to be topical are always spotty at best.
85. Ed Ranks the Seasons - Probably took you just as long to read it as it took me to write it. I spent more time looking for pictures to hotlink to than I did writing anything.
84. Ed Ranks Social Media - Instagram is obviously the best. Why bother having a list? That would be like if I ranked colors of the sky. Blue wins. Duh.
83. Ed Ranks Doctor Who Spinoffs - According to Google Analytics, I only have about four regular readers for this blog anyway. I think absolutely zero of those four people care about Doctor Who spinoff media.
82. Ed Ranks Santa Claus's Reindeer, By Name - The second of two Christmas posts in a row. Wouldn't just one have sufficed?
81. Ed Ranks the Top 10 Most Adorable Animals - Ed Ranks Everything is known for sarcasm and swear words. Yet at one magical time is was also known for cute animal pictures. Just like your aunt's Facebook feed.
76 to 80. Ed Ranks the United States (Parts 1 through 5) - I like these five and put quite some work into them. It actually involved crunching all sorts of numbers. But there are a million other people who have ranked the states so nothing was really that unique.
75. Ed Ranks the Alphabet - So arbitrary. I bet if I wasn't allowed to see this ranking and was told to rewrite it again I'd come up with completely different rankings with some letters falling way down or rising way up.
74. Ed Ranks Aerosmith Albums - As with the last one, my opinions about the order of several of these would probably change depending on my mood any given week.
73. Ed Ranks the Top 5 Charlie Murphy Sketches that AREN'T True Hollywood Stories - When I came up with the idea for this list I thought he was in a lot more sketches than he actually was in.
72. Ed Ranks Countries by Food - An attempt to capture the same magic as ranking countries by beer. A failed attempt.
71. Ed Ranks the Taco Bell Menu - This list is technically about food too. But only technically.
70. Ed Ranks Fruit - There are so many fruit I left out. Eventually I just figured, "enough."
69. Ed Ranks the 10 Most Annoying Deus ex Machina Film Endings - Heh, 69. I just had to click on this one to remember anything about it. So it's obviously not that memorable.
68. Ed Ranks the 13 Worst Game of Thrones Book-to-Show Story Changes - I just did this one a few days ago. It's super hard to rank posts that I just did. It's like trying to determine the legacy of a President or an athlete while they're still in office / playing. It lacks the hilariousness of the Gendry one.
67. Ed Ranks the Planets - We all knew the winner would be Earth, right?
66. Ed Ranks Things His Fellow White People Should Avoid Doing this Black History Month - Solid advice for any month.
65. Ed Ranks the 1985 Transformers Toy Catalogue - I feel like there is a better Transformers ranking I could have done than this one. I just don't know what it is though.
64. Ed Ranks Eurozone Countries by their €1 Coins - This one would have been a lot better if I had included pictures of all, rather than just some, of the Eurozone coins I'm talking about. This definitely needed more pictures.
63. Ed Ranks US Federal Holidays - I'm 80% sure that the picture of the "American" July 4 eagle in this ranking was taken in Canada, which is awesome. The image credit says it was taken on the Alsek River, which does run through Alaska - but mostly runs through the Yukon Territory and British Columbia.
61 to 62. Ed Ranks Hardboiled Private Detectives (Parts 1 and 2) - Still regret putting stupid ass Perry Mason on this thing. Seriously, PRETEND #10 says Spenser for Hire!
60. Ed Ranks 2016 Halloween Costumes by Awfulness - Thought this would be funnier. At least every entry was accompanied by a picture, unlike the Eurozone coin thing.
59. You'll NEVER Guess How Ed Ranks Clickbait Headlines. #7 Will SHOCK You! - I hate Clickbait so much it even makes me hate this ranking a little.
58. Ed Ranks Things Happening When the Cast of "Stranger Things" Were Born - Way to make myself feel old AF.
57. Ed Ranks Other Obsolete Things that Should Go Away Like "The Greatest Show on Earth" - Quickly wrote this one to try to be topical. Meh. The title is also way too long.
56. Ed Ranks the Chinese Zodiac Animals - Cock.
55. Ed Ranks the Greek Pantheon - Greek gods are kind of awesome. But again, hard to rank the more recent ones I wrote.
54. Ed Ranks Movies You Don't Need to Own (Because they're Always on TV) - Same as above. I just wrote it so it's hard to put it anywhere other than the middle.
53. Ed Ranks the Main Characters of Star Trek: The Next Generation - Picard was always going to be #1 so why did I bother? And how the hell is Geordi La Forge only #6? Was I drunk when writing this?
52. Ed Ranks "Fun" Fall Activities - This was a list I once did. That's about all I have to say about it.
51. Ed Arbitrarily Ranks Teeth According to Nonsensical Personalities Assigned to Them - If you go back and actually read the title of this ranking, you'll see that I spelled "Nonsensical" incorrectly. I still think this one is kind of cute.
50. Ed Ranks 15 Conspiracy Theories - I start this one right off with Holocaust denial and 9/11. Way to ruin everyone's mood, Ed.
49. Ed Ranks the Emails in his Spam Box - I wish my spam box had been just a little more interesting.
48. Ed Ranks the Gifts of the Twelve Days of Christmas - I still have no clue what I'd do with eleven useless lords-a-leaping and all those shitting birds.
47. Ed Ranks Films which SHOULD Have Won the 65th Academy Award for Best Picture - Was this a one-joke article written just to set up the ludicrous proposition that Honeymoon in Vegas is better than Unforgiven? Like the licks to the center of a Tootsie Pop, the world may never know.
46. Ed Ranks the Top 10 Alan Rickman Roles - Probably done too soon after the similar Gary Oldman one.
45. Ed Ranks the 12 Causes of Death in The Jim Carroll Band's "People Who Died" - Some of these are just really awful ways to go out.
44. Ed Ranks the Horrific Abominations that Will Kill You in Australia - Snakes freak me out, man. What is wrong with this death zone?
43. Ed Ranks Batmen - RIP Adam West.
42. Ed Ranks 5 New Goddamn Pumpkin Spice Products this Fall, Probably - I liked this one a lot more until I learned that there were 20 other pages that did similar jokes after a quick search.
41. Ed Ranks Old Pictures From His External Hard Drive - Stupid, but an interesting look into the past that made me question what I was doing in my late teens and early 20's.
40. Ed Ranks the Top 10 Lists that He Will Never Do at Ed Ranks Everything - I guess the fact that one of the first rankings I did was about rankings I wouldn't do at a site that says I will rank "everything" undermines the very premise of the whole "everything" thing. Did I make this point in the ranking itself? I don't remember and am too lazy to read it. I hate reading the things I write. Surely you can tell that by all the spelljng errors.
39. Ed Ranks Doctor Who Companions - A list that's instantly out of date! I guess I'd put the new companion Bill somewhere... uhh... between Zoe and River? And how did this list not have a picture of Zoe in that tight jumpsuit? Worthless.
38. Ed Ranks BBQ - It's really all delicious so long as you don't dry it out.
37. Ed Ranks the Top 15 Sesame Street Muppets - Who won again? Was it the Yip Yips? (*checks rankings*) Oh. Grover. Yeah, that makes sense. I own a Grover tie. He's great.
36. Ed Ranks the Top 10 Board Games - How the hell is Fireball Island no longer being made? Children are being deprived of an amazing game. It makes no sense that boring-ass Monopoly is more famous than Fireball Island.
35. Ed Ranks James Bond Films - I like this list. Not original though. Tons of other people rank these films. I should try to avoid ranking stuff that everyone else ranks.
34. Ed Ranks the Top 10 Grunge Bands - After Chris Cornell died I kind of felt like a dick that Soundgarden was only #4. I even said in the entry itself that Cornell had the best voice. But what am I going to do? Not make STP #1? I had to make STP #1 just to piss everyone off since STP is from California rather than Washington.
33. Ed Ranks the Potential Causes of Death of Cyrus the Great - I really, really like this one. But then again, I'm a history major. And I wrote it. So there's that.
32. Ed Ranks the Cast of The Mummy (1999) - I think the box office results of the latest Mummy reboot prove that nothing can top this film.
31. Ed Ranks the Main Characters of Dawson's Creek - All references to Dawson's Creek I make in life continue to be one long in-joke and I don't care that nobody else gets it.
30. Ed Ranks the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World - Only seven things? How easy to rank! Much easier than ranking 100 things. I'm exhausted. Is anyone still reading this?
29. Ed Ranks the Marshmallow Shapes in Lucky Charms - I still can't get over the fact that there isn't just a simple clover shape anymore.
28. Ed Ranks Possible Things that Happened to Mira Sorvino - All of these are 100% plausible and I stand by this absurd ranking. I will admit that the "eaten by a shark" bit was stolen from an old Conan joke about what ever happened to Axl Rose.
27. Ed Ranks Baseball Positions - I firmly believe this ranking has helped to educate people about baseball. Sorry all offended Third Basemen, you suck.
26. Ed Ranks the Seven Deadly Sins - WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!
25. Ed Ranks 10 Disney Villains by Evilness - Elsa really is a monster and you're just going to have to accept it, Stephanie.
24. Ed Ranks The Impressionists - Who doesn't love the Impressionists? Except for Renoir. Fuck that guy.
23. Ed Ranks People You Meet in the Bar (and their Arch Nemeses) - The loud guy at the bar with the young escort is totally a real story.
22. Ed Ranks 25 X-Men Superpowers - If you disagree with Phoenix then you're stupid. Full stop.
21. Ed Ranks US Presidents By Facial Hair - After ranking English monarchs someone suggested I also rank U.S. Presidents. So I did this instead. It was absolutely the correct way to go.
20. Ed Ranks the Top 10 Gary Oldman Roles - Gary Oldman is great but I honestly haven't seen like four of the films on the list. Maybe more. How many stupid Harry Potter films was he in?
17 to 19. Ed Ranks the Crusades (Parts 1 through 3) - I love these and I get to rank things... so I can rank them this high. But I realize that they are way too long and probably nobody actually read them who wasn't already interested in history and therefore pretty much knew about them and didn't need to read them.
16. Ed Ranks 12 Dudes with "Oscar" or "Isaac" in Their Name - You're all just going to have to accept that about once every twelve rankings or so I'm going to find a way to fit in that video of Oscar Isaac and Sonoya Mizuno dancing in Ex Machina.
15. Ed Ranks Alternative Facts About Kellyanne Conway - This one was surprisingly more popular than I thought it would be. Someone picked it up and shared it on some website and it got a pretty substantial view count. Well, a pretty substantial view count for my shitty blog.
13 to 14. Ed Ranks the Top 5 Best/Worst Summer Olympic Sports - My first two posts set the tone. Good for them. Handball and Water Polo really are so sweet and I can't wait for 2020.
12. Ed Ranks Viceroys of Min-Zhe - I love this one. I understand nobody else does. It's just so damn random.
11. Ed Ranks Your Horrific Oregon Trail Deaths - You have died of shitting blood.
10. Ed Ranks Insightful Comments on a Breitbart Article About an Emma Watson Film - Ah, glorious website comments sections.
9. Ed Ranks 10 Better Candidates for President than Donald Trump - Racist Goat 2016!
6 to 8. Ed Ranks the Monarchs of England (Parts 1 through 3) - These are meticulously researched and put together. I was also super excited about writing them. Too long? Yep.
5. Ed Ranks 38 Punchlines to "I Like My Coffee Like I Like My Women..." - You should be using all of these jokes on a regular basis around everyone you know. These are all gold.
4. Ed Ranks Countries By Beer - I stand by #1, but Germany could easily climb up another one or two depending on my mood.
3. Ed Ranks Other Things WNBA Teams Could Be - Photoshopping a Mariners hat onto Storm from X-Men is my own personal magnum opus.
2. Ed Ranks Colors in the Crayola 64 Box - My third ever post and a masterstroke that I think of whenever I think about what a good Ed Ranks Everything should look like. These are the types of basic, random things I like ranking.
1. Ed Ranks the Top 5 Game of Thrones Theories that He Just Made Up Right Now - I started writing this one as an honest and detailed post about all the best Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire fan theories out there. It probably would have been accompanied by a "worst theories" one as well, just like how the Olympics rankings had best and worst. Then I got lazy and just did this instead. I am extremely happy with the result.
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