Ed Ranks Warplane Livery

10. Whatever the Hell is Going on Here

Way too much. Liberty Hall, The Vietnam Memorial, Mount Rushmore, a Space Shuttle, and the Marine Corps War Memorial? Sorry. Trying too hard to be 'murican. Be more subtle. See #5 below to do this right. 

9. A Giant Target that Shouts "Please Shoot Here!" 

Okay UK, we know that is the official roundel of the Royal Air Force. But... really? That doesn't remind you of a bullseye at all? You could have thought that insignia through a little better. And a lot of good that camouflage does with a target on it. 

8. Nothing

Just gray? Ugh. 

7. Camouflage

No, I get it. I won't mock jet camo for not being blue. Aircraft are on the ground more than in the sky. You think they'd be in hangars though. Or the camo would be gray to look like a runway. Whatever, planes can be set against a lot of different backgrounds and camo can't cover them all. That's not my problem with camo. My problem is, like with no decoration at all, it's simply boring. 

6. Birds

Birds are just a little too obvious. We get it. Planes can fly. Birds can fly. I guess the exception would be something sleek and stylized like the bottom of a Thunderbird. That looks cool. 

5. National Insignias and Symbols (aside from Examples Above) 

Stars, stripes, things that have deep national meaning - it's all good stuff. So long as your insignia doesn't include a broad pastiche of national landmarks and/or a bullseye.

4. Realistic(-ish) Animals

Boars, mighty stags, tigers, wolves and all sorts of cool predators that I can't think of now. Those are good symbols. Just don't go for birds. Birds are lazy. 

3. Cartoon Characters

Whether it's Bugs Bunny, Mickey Mouse, some random cartoon mascot, or a caricature of Hitler getting hit with a hammer by Uncle Sam - cartoon characters are always a fantastic way to go for your airplane livery. 

2. Pinup Girls

What's the point of even going to war if you're not going to have a sexy (or sexist, whatever) antiquated depiction of a pinup girl on the nose of your aircraft? You might as well surrender now if you take this away, because the bad guys have already won. 

1. Angry Shark Faces

OH SHIT! Do you know what you do when you see this scary ass stuff coming towards you? YOU RUN! No way you can outrun a warplane, but you have to run anyway. A flying angry shark is going to kill you. Make peace with that.