Ed Ranks SpoOoOoky Ghosts

Halloween is my favorite holiday. Over the years I’ve ranked terrible “sexy” Halloween costumes, Halloween candy, and even a generic “things associated with Halloween.” I’ve also drifted into the Samhain festival and horror movies and quasi-related aspects of Spooky Season.  So I’m sort of running out of ideas for a Halloween-themed ranking, yet I still really wanna do it because, I mean, Halloween.  So… I mean… ghosts it is. 

How many spoOoOoky ghosts should I rank? How about 13? Because 13 is spoOoOoky too, right? *sigh* Look, you and I both wish I had a better idea for this Halloween. 

13. Blinky, Pinky, Inky, and Clyde – The ghosts from Pac-Man. But not that SPOOKY, are they? Yeah, so while iconic… not so Spooky. I mean they do kill Pac-Man a lot in their Saw film franchise-like death maze of pellets and fruit, which is pretty brutal when you think about it.

12. Patrick Swayze – I don’t mean this in a douchey way since he’s dead now (RIP), but… you know… he was in the film “Ghost” where he was THE ghost. I guess technically the name of this entry should be “Sam Wheat,” since that was the name of Patrick Swayze’s character. But you know exactly what I meant when I said Patrick Swayze. And you thought of that pottery scene, didn’t you? Did it give you a boner? Did you lose the boner when you thought of Whoopi Goldberg? Anyway, not very spooky either. Very handsome. 

11. Casper – Not that spooky at all. But still really messed up when you think about the fact that Casper is very childlike and is thus a DEAD CHILD. Okay, so a little spooky. 

10. The Flying Dutchman – Despite “man” being in the name, this isn’t even a ghost of a person. It’s a ghost of a SHIP. WTF?! How do you even have a ghost ship? Theologically this makes no sense unless all ships are living beings with souls.  Actually, how do any inanimate objects like ghost clothes work?  Should all ghosts be naked? Man, I don’t like thinking about this anymore. Anyway, this one shouldn’t be so spooky. Just keep away from the water. 

9. Ghosts of Christmas Past / Present / Future – From Charles Dickens, the author who is famously terrible and makes sure that all his stories are resolved by total coincidence and happenstance rather than by sound or witty storytelling. I guess combined these three are supposed to make you live a better life and have a change of heart before it’s too late? They can also make you time travel with them. I guess all and all, pretty cool ghosts. Not super spooky though. I mean they might rattle some chains a little bit or something, but that’s all. Nothing to fear other than having to sit through a stern quasi-anti-Capitalist lesson.  

8. Hamlet (Senior) – The Shakespeare play Hamlet is about Prince Hamlet, but he was son to the murdered King Hamlet. Who is dead by the time the play begins. But appears in it. Because ghost. Yep. That’s a pretty famous ghost! Is he SPOOKY? I mean… eh… not really. 

7. Slimer – WTF is Slimer anyway? He’s obviously a ghost because he’s in Ghostbusters and the Ghostbusters catch him and what they do is catch ghosts (the clue is in the name). But no other ghosts look like him. Is this a ghost of a person? Slimer isn’t explained very well. This is also the required part where people of my generation have to mention Hi-C Ecto Cooler. So I just did.

6. Beetlejuice – I wasn’t quite sure what Beetlejuice was. I was thinking he was more “demon,” but after a little more research I have been assured he is a “trickster and mischievous ghost.” Which I guess checks out because Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis also die and become ghosts in this movie, so I guess it’s just a big ghost party. I guess at times he’s a little “spooky,” but he definitely weighs more on the “trickster” side than “spooky” side. He’s really more of a MAGICAL DOUCHEBAG. 

5. Bloody Mary – A ghost who appears in a mirror when you say her name. Versions of the story have varied over time towards being a pretty peaceful lady that just shows up to say “Hello, I’m dead,” to being a malignant and scary demon who wants to really make you want to break all mirrors and reflective objects so that she doesn’t come out and kill you. So yeah, I guess she COULD be pretty spooky depending on what version of her you get. 

4. The Headless Horseman – Like Beetlejuice, I had questions about this one being only SORT OF a ghost. As with Bloody Mary, depending on the version of the story, this can be a ghost, a “demonic fairy,” or even just a guy in a costume pretending to be a ghost or demon. In Washington Irving’s most famous version of the story, “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,” the reveal at the end strongly implies that nothing supernatural happened, and that a romantic rival of Ichabod Crane has merely pretended to be the spirit to kill Ichabod and take his woman. Most adaptions of the Irving play (including Disney’s cartoon version and the Sleepy Hollow movie) ignore that because leaning hard onto the “ghost” thing is much cooler.  If the Headless Horseman is indeed a ghost instead of a demon, fairy, or dude in a costume… then yes… SPOOKY AF!

3. Beloved – The ghost of the daughter of an escaped slave, Sethe, who she decided she would have to kill rather than force her to live in slavery and suffer the trauma like she had to. Beloved then haunts the house where they live. Wow. This is so dark and depressing. Way to bring the mood down when we were supposed to be talking about fun Casper Halloween stuff. Murdered slave children. Spooky AND depressing. I only have myself to blame.

2. The Grady Twins (The Shining) – Yeah, big nope on these two ghost girls from the mind of Steven King. Nope nope nope NOPE. 

1. Sadako Yamamura (Ringu aka The Ring) – The central character in the Japanese horror franchise and it’s American remake. Ya know, the vengeful ghost who crawls out of your TV screen to kill you. Way to understand the form of the media you are creating to make it even more shit-scaringly terrifying, which is another term for SpoOoOoky. 

Ed Ranks Closed Amusement Parks of Coney Island

I'm not going to lie. I was working on this blog in 2020 when I sort of stopped and gave up on it, and on the blog in general. Why did I choose to do this one back then? I dunno. The whole era of wacky amusement parks of the past seemed endearing at the time. 

Am I as "in" to the concept now as I was in 2020 when I started writing it? No. But the blog was half-written, so I might as well finish it off. 

6. Dreamland (2009) - Astroland  (see below) was all that existed of Coney Island's theme park past for many years. Then, in 2008, it finally shut down. It seemed like the end of an era. Would Coney Island really lack a theme park? "No," was the answer, as a Dreamland reboot stepped in to take over the former Astroland in 2009. It lasted a total of one summer season before the company running it was forced to close due to debt. So, yeah, that sucked. Though maybe naming yourself after a theme park that only lasted a few years was a jinx from the beginning. Just as Dreamland itself was a reboot of an old theme park, it would be replaced again by yet another reboot, a new Luna Park, on the same location where Astroland and the 2009 Dreamland stood.

5. Sea Lion Park (1895–1903) - Sea Lion Park was the first ever enclosed (e.g. they chared you an entry fee to get in) permanent amusement park in North America. I'm not saying that you would have never had your Disneylands and your Six Flags without Sea Lion Park (someone else would have come up with the idea eventually), but points for being the first to actually charge a ticket to enter a park, versus having parks be open and simply charging different fees at every ride. As you might guess, Sea Lion Park has sea lions at it, trained to do tricks and stuff.  Animals that do tricks used to be a big thing. Humans were pretty impressed by torturned and brainwashed animals living in small cages so that they could eventually be let out for a few minutes a day to perform tasks in return for sardines. ANYWAY, they also added rides, such as what is now known today as "Shoot the Chute" (a flat-bottomed boat that slides down a ramp into a pool of water and goes splash), and the "Flip Flap Railway," a famous (or infamous) looping wooden roller coaster. You might be surprised that looping roller coasters existed at the turn of the 20th century, thinking that technology wasn't there yet. Well, it wasn't. Which is why it was shut down for being unsafe. It could also only hold two passengers at a time, so it wasn't that profitable or popular. But just because Sea Lion Park was the first doesn't mean that they'd stick around forever. In 1903, Sea Lion Park went under and was replaced with Luna Park.

4. Dreamland (1904–1911) - In 1904, Coney Island was booming with tourists who craved amusement parks. Luna Park was a year old and doing well, and Steeplechase Park was still knocking it out of the... park? (meh, bad pun) after near to a decade. Was there room for three amusement parks in Coney Island? Dreamland dared to find out! With three theme parks there would be lots of competition, so everyone needed a gimmick. Dreamland attempted to be the "refined" and "classy" park with elegant architecture, as opposed to the nearby noise and ride-filled Luna Park. Highlighting the center of this "classiness" was a tall tower with a million light bulbs on it (light bulbs really impressed people still back then). Their "classy" attractions included things like the double biblical shows of "Creation" (depicting the Book of Genesis) and the "End of the World" (depicting the Book of Revelation); a model of the canals of Venice;  a Japanese tea house;  a building that resembled a classical Greek temple called "the Destruction of Pompeii" (including a cyclorama show with a staged eruption of Mt. Vesuvius); the submarine simulation "Under and Over the Sea"; and so on. Of course, it wans't all high-brow bible and educational rides. They had mini-peep shows, lion-tamers, a show featuring 300 midgets, baby incubators showing off premature born children, and the same types of rides that the other two parks had, only "bigger." For example, Luna Park inherited its Shoot the Chute from Sea Lion Park when it closed. Dreamland opened one of their own... and by "one" I mean "two, right next to each other, and taller than the one at Luna." Still, Luna Park was better managed and despite Dreamland's more impressive and "classier" fare, it struggled to succeed. And maybe it would have, if one of it's rides (Hell's Gate, another biblical-themed ride where it looked like you were descending through a whirlpool to underground caverns to hell) caught on fire in a way that seemed somewhat apropos for something called "Hell's Gate." This happened on the busy Memorial Day weekend of 1911. The entire park burned down and it was all over for classy Dreamland. It was never rebuilt, and a bunch of apartment complexes are there now. As noted above, for a hot minute there was a "new" Dreamland in 2009, but it lasted only one season. 

3. Astroland (1962–2008) - An iconic Coney Island for decades, Astroland was the sole survivor of the spirit of Coney Island's fun parks after the aging Steeplechase closed for good in 1964. As its name implied when it was opening in the middle of the US versus Russia space race... it had a "space age" theme that features things such as rockets, a "Tower to the Stars," a gyro tower, and a simulated jet trip to the moon that was a lot more scientifically accurate than the 1903 Luna Park version (see below - short story is that this version lacked moon maidens). Needless to say, as time went on these "space age" attractions of the 1960s seemed more and more like a look to the past than the future and the park seemed like an antiquated concept by the time the 90s and 2000s rolled around. The one exception was the famous Cyclone wooden roller coaster, which had staying power and such a Coney Island landmark that the first thing people think of when they think of Coney Island should be the image of the Cyclone coaster.  In 2008, time was up and Astroland went out of business. People were shocked. No more amusement parks in Coney Island? What would happen? Well. Dreamland happened but that only lasted a year. Then in 2010 the park was re-re-booted as the new Luna Park. So while Astroland is technically out of business and counts as a "closed" amusement park, for the most part the currently operating Luna Park is essentially a continuation of Astroland, and continues to feature the Cyclone, the Astrotower (though it's now unused and just a landmark feature), as well as a bunch of newer rides and attractions. 

2. Luna Park (1903–1944) - A Coney Island Park with decent staying power, and the replacement for the OG Sea Lion Park, Luna Park immediatly became a beloved attraction by snagging away the beloved "A Trip To The Moon" ride which had previously been featured at the 1901 Pan-American Exposition in Buffalo (the same event where President McKinley was assassinated... but I don't think that was part of the ride). After the exposition closed, everyone (including Coney Island rival Steeplechase Park) wanted to get the ride, and for a while Steeplechase did yet it. But Luna Park was able to snag it away and wound up with it, by having Topsy the Elephant literally drag the "airship Luna" ride feature to the new park in a plubicity stunt. What did an imagined trip to the moon look like at the turn of the century? Well, it involved being greeted by dancing moon maidens ("Selenites"), so there's that. It also involved a lot of Papier-mâché (very scientifically innacurate as we all now know that the moon is made of cheese).  Luna Park would go on to feature a number of famous attractions including the Electric Tower (like Dreamland, just a tower with a BUNCH of lights on it... hey man... lights were still pretty novel and fancy back then), the "Dragon's Gorge," a lagoon, etc. Oh yeah, and if mentioning Topsy the Elephant so closed to electricity sparks (ha!) a memory for you... yep... you're not going crazy. In another plublicity stunt, the owners of Luna Park electrocuted Topsy... for... reasons? This has become the famous urban legend about Thomas Edison wanting to prove that AC power was dangerous to try to sell his competing DC power, although that version of the story is largely inaccurate. Edison is still an idea-stealing douchebag, but that bit o story is more legend than truth. Despite being widly popular and making back the costs of being built in a few short summers, Luna Park frequently struggled with finances and by the time the 40's rolled around, its time had come to an end. It's legacy lives on though, with Coney Island's only remaining significant amusement park being re-named Luna in 2010 (although honestly it's just a rebooted/renamed Astroland), and other Luna Parks existing around the world (including a notable one in Sydney, Australia). 

1. Steeplechase Park (1897–1964) - Steeplechase might have been the second Coney Island amusement park, but it's legacy is undeniable. Just looking at the years it was around, you can see this one had staying power - operating for a whopping 67 years. Disneyland is only just hitting that age right now-ish, meaning that as far as a lasting cultural institution goes - at one time Steeplechase was "the" amusement park that we think about when we thought about amusement parks. Was it as grand as Disney? Of course not, but it certainly had some iconic features. So let's talk about it. Opened up by George C. Tilyou, it was apparently inspired by  him going on the new-fangled Ferris wheel at the Chicago World's Faire.  The namesake ride of the the park was the Steeplechase itself - a mechanical horserace on metal tracks. The place also had a  Venetian gondola-style ride, a Wild West show, scale models of the Eiffel Tower and Big Ben, as well as 50 or so other attractions. Over the years they obviously changed with the times - but some things had staying power. First of all the park's mascot had staying power - a cartoonish depiction known alternatly as "Tilly" (after Tilyou) or the "Funny Face" was the logo of the park, and is still closley associated with Coney Island or carnival-ish parks to this day. Another thing with staying power? The Steeplechase's Parachute Jump - a tower where people... yep... jumped off of parachutes from it. Sounds dangerous and wildly unsafe? YEP! IT WAS! And while people don't jump from it anymore, it has remained a Coney Island attraction for decades after the park's closing and is still there, its image closely associated with Coney Island. You can't set something in Coney Island without showing the Parachute Jump. Why that recent Zendaya movie from a few years ago prominantly featured it. What was it called? Spider-Guy or something? I don't remember. I think there were other people in it, but now I'm thinking about Zendaya. So, in conclusion... what was I talking about again? Oh right. Zendaya.

Ed Ranks Current MLB Stadium Names

It's October, so you know what that means? That's right! The Braves have choked out of the postseason!  Also, I suppose the rest of the MLB playoffs are happening too. So in commiseration with your own favorite team being kicked out of the postseason, let's stick with this baseball theme and talk about ballparks. 

Now, I shall rank the names of the ballparks of the 30 MLB Teams, because I have not ranked those yet. So I must. Because I must rank EVERYTHING.  I guess I could rank the ballparks themselves for their quality, aestetic, etc. But that sounds pretty difficult. I'd rather just make fun of their names. 

30. LoanDepot Park (Miami Marlins) - Let's be clear here. Miami is a terrible place for baseball and is the worst baseball team and the worst baseball park. The average attendance of Miami Marlins games is somewhere around 4 people. No wonder a scam company would but the rights to what used to be known as "Marlins Park," as the Marlins are a scam of  an MLB baseball team. 

29. Comerica Park (Detroit Tigers) - Speaking of lame companies, Comercia is apparently a company that exists. What is it? I have no idea and I'm not bothering to look it up. It seems like the answer to what ChatGPT would give you if you asked it to generate the most boring company name of all time. Comerica has owned the naming rights to this stadium since the late 90s and I still have never been bothered in 20+ years to care about the name of the stadium where the Tigers play.

28. American Family Field (Milwaukee Brewers) - Alphabetically first, but it comes in oh so close to last place. This baseball stadiym used to be named "Miller Park," which was cool. Because even though it's the name of a garbage beer, the concept of a beer corporation (Miller Brewing Company) buying the naming rights to a team named "Brewers" is awesome. "American Family" is an Insurance company, but it sounds more like the beginning of a rent state rant again WOKE LIBS.  As horsepissey as Miller is, beer is much cooler than insurance. Especially in terms of a baseball stadium for a team literally named BREWERS.  Now let's go on a lengthy and barely-related side story! (That's how this blog works, remember?) The first ever "World Series" happened 1884 when the Providence Grays of the National League (NL) battled the New York Metropolitans of the American Association (AA). The reason why there were two rival leagues is because the guy who ran the National League (Al Spalding... famous for the Athletic company "Nike"... no... just kidding... the company SPALDING, you gullible idiot), banned baseball games from being played on Sundays and banned alcoholic beverages from being sold in stadiums. Because of those draconian rules, the AA was established in 1882 and specifically allowed those things - Sunday baseball and booze. Because of that, the AA came to be known as the "Beer and Whiskey League." The AA eventually went out of business, but their spirit lives on. Two leagues fighting each other for the baseball championship literally exists because a rival league decided that baseball fans should get drunk at games while another league did not. What I'm getting at here is "American Family" is garbage. Long live Miller. 

27. Guaranteed Rate Field (Chicago White Sox) - This place used to be known as U.S. Cellular Field. Only it wasn't. Oh yeah, U.S. Cellular paid for the naming rights, but this place will ALWAYS be known as Comiskey Park (or NEW Comiskey Park if you want to be anal about it). 

26. Globe Life Field (Texas Rangers) - The Ballpark in Arlington opened up in the 1990s as part of the post-Camden Yards wave of new stadiums that were newm but felt old. Yet just like with the Atlanta Braves building a new stadium in the 90s and saying "screw it, now we want a NEW NEW stadium," the Texas Rangers abanoned a fairly new and modern ballpark for an even newer ballpark and got this one. Which has a terrible name for what I assume is an insurance company because like 90% of MLB parks are names after banks and insurance companies. Ugh.  

25. Truist Park (Atlanta Braves) - Speaking of Atlanta abandoning new 1990s stadiums after a handfull of years for a new new stadium, the Braves abadoned the Ted Turner-named Turner Field even though it only opened up in when I was in high school (come on, it wasn't THAT long ago!). Now we get this stadium with a VERY BORING NAME. I think this is a bank, right? Ugh. Now that I think about it my mortgage is with Truist. I have a mortgage now? I'm old. Man, maybe the 90s WERE a long time ago.

24. Progressive Field (Cleveland Guardians) - Jacobs Field was an okay field name. It's been Progressive since 2008-ish and I don't care. At least name it Flo Field or something if you want to hype your garbage insurance. 

23. PNC Park (Pittsburg Pirates) - I don't hate this park itself. This park certainly fits the Camden Yards-inspired "retro-classic" feel. But I'm ranking stadium names. And even though this stadium attempts to live up to the legacy of iconic Pittsburg Stadiums like Forbes and Three Rivers, its name is... yep.. another boring bank. Weird. It's like those guys got all the money or something. 

22. Citizens Bank Park (Philadelphia Phillies) - Two Pennsylvanias in a row, and another boring bank name. My oh my has Philly fallen from the epic Baker Bowl days where they had the "The Phillies use Lifebuoy" sign on the wall, and a vandal added, "and they still stink" to it. Classic. "Citizens Bank" is not classic at all. More like SHITizens, huh? Hrm. Maybe I should keep the swearing down less the AI Google bot blocks this blog entry too. 

21. Citi Field (New York Mets) - Citi Field will always be in the shadow of Flushing's famous Shea Stadium. But kudos to Citibank for being so arrogant about how famous they are that they can name the field "Citi" rather than "Citibank" because they think they are so notable that they can use a nickname rather than their full name. That takes some huevos. Something something John Rocker seven train. 

20. Oracle Park (San Francisco Giants) - This SF Park has been known as Pacific Bell Park, SBC Park, and AT&T Park - based on the multiple times that the phone company changed names. Given how much of our lives we now spend on our Smart Phones, you'd think phone companies would still be in a position to dominate. But NOPE! This one now belongs to Oracle, which is some "technology" company that does... uhh... technology stuff? Flying cars? Sex robots? Nope. It's never the tech that anyone actually wants. 

19. T-Mobile Park (Seattle Mariners) - We all remember that the Kingdome was a crap stadium that was falling apart and killing fans. Everyone knew it needed to be replaced. What was it replaced with? Safeco Field. Only Safeco Field is now known as T-Mobile Park. Okay. Whatever. So I guess stadiums ARE still named after phone companies. Only they are names after boring ones. No wait. is T-Mobile the one that uses Ben Barnes in their commercials? So dreamy. I love you, Prince Caspian. 

18. Rogers Centre (Toronto Blue Jays) - This is the SkyDome. You can call it whatever you want, but everyone knows this is the SkyDome. It was pretty cutting edge in the 80s, but then again so was "Who's the Boss?" After Camden opened up a few years later, it already seemed like an outdated concrete behemouth. 

17. Chase Field (Arizona Diamondbacks) - Another bank, but at least "chasing" people sounds like a cool thing where you run down a guy who tried to steal a base and got caught. Let's just pretend it's named after the verb and not a bank. You can't chase Rickey Henderson though. You have no chance of catching him.

16. Great American Ball Park (Cincinatti Reds) - While "American Family Field" isn't too different than "Great American," at least this name makes me think of GREAT AMERICAN things like apple pie, gun violence, and... well... baseball! It feels like a nostalgic name for the ye olde times of baseball without being too much branding in your face like a Kirk Cameron movie with that "family" nonsense. It's no Crossley Field or Riverfront, but it's not a terrible name. That's why it's here in the middle of the pack at 16.

15. Kauffman Stadium (Kansas City Royals) - In a ranking of 30 teams, Kauffman Stadium belongs in the exact middle at 30. It's not named after a company - instead it's named after the first owner of the Royals: Ewing Kauffman. And it's been named that FOREVER. The naming rights haven't been sold. Why? Probably because the Royals are so boring and mid that they can can't get anyone to buy naming rights. Still, back in the old days stadiums were named after owners like Comesky and Connie Mack, so this sort of feels refreshing and classic, even if boring. Hey... do they still have that waterfall feature here? I honestly haven't watched a Royals game in like two decades. 

14. Nationals Park (Washington Nationals) - Similar to Kaufmann, I feel like Nationals Park retains is name not due to a dislike of selling out to a company, but more due to not being to get a sweet enough corporation contract to get stadium naming rights. Which is strange. The Nationals won a World Series in 2019. You'd figure SOMEONE would pay stadium naming rights after that. I guess not. It is in Washintgon DC... soooo... Defense contractor? Call me, Lockheed. I have some notes. 

13. Minute Maid Park (Houston Astros) - The Astros should just embrace it and rename this place "Rubbermaid Field." You know, because the trash cans. *ahem* Anyway, the Astros used to have a stadium named after them (AstroDome) and a type of fake grass named after them (Astro Turf). Now they play in a stadium which is the SECOND stadium named after an Orange Juice company. You know, ever since that whole Enron scandal thing ended this being Enron Field. Speaking of which... 

12. Tropicana Field (Tampa Bay Rays) - ...Just because you're the FIRST team who gets a stadium named after orage juice doesn't mean you're that much better than the second one. 

11. Petco Park (San Diego Padres) - I guess naming a ballpark afeter this second rate pet score is okay. That's right, I'm team Petsmart! 

10. Angel Stadium (Los Angeles Angels) - Sort of like Nationals Park, this "the stadium is named after the team" feels less like a choiced to avoid capitalism and more like a "we're not a good enough team for a company to pay money for stadium naming rights. If you can't make a good enough team with Mike Trout AND Shohei Ohtani then it's definately a YOU problem, Angels. I guess this park has had this boring name for much longer than the Nats, so that's worth a few places in the rankings. 

9. Target Field (Minnesota Twins) - Another company name, but at least they can put a "target" on a wall for people to hit, right? I assume they must have that gimmick there. And Target is actually closely associated with Minnesota, so I can associated this branding with the Twins. Target is the second most famous thing from the state after Prince. 

8. Yankee Stadium (New York Yankees) - At this point, the place where the Yankees play will ALWAYS be Yankee Stadium. They could never sell naming rights. They can demolish and build a new stadium, and it will always be called Yankees Stadium. This is sort of boring, but also sort of endearing. Anyway, Yankees suck! 

7. Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum (Oakland Athletics) - Honestly, not a great name, but you got to respect it by this point. Unlike other teams that you'd assume couldn't sell stadium rights, the Althetics are a team that has one of the deepest legacies in baseball history going back to Philadelphia. This is the team of Connie Mack, Jimmy Foxx, Mark McGwire before the roids, and Rickey Henderson. Congrats for them keeping this boring stadium name to harkens back to the mid-20th century era when they moved out to Oakland. I guess this will all be a moot point when they move to Las Vegas, huh? So it goes. 

6. Coors Field (Colorado Rockies) - Named your stadium after a beer company? Per previous discussion at #28: That works for me. Also, per #9... closely associated with the state. Good job, Rockies. Now try to make your team less bad. 

5. Dodger Stadium (Los Angeles Dodgers) - Is naming your stadium after your team boring? If you're a bad team, sure. But this is THE DODGERS we're talking about. If any team gets to be like the Yankees and say "we are too famous of a team for any company name to be more famous than our own name," then the Dodgers are that team. 

4. Busch Stadium (St. Louis Cardinals) - Another stadium named after a beer company, and again it at least has historic ties as a local company and goes back. A pat on the back to the Cardinals for this. Busch and Bud beer might be garbage, but I respect keeping this stadium name. 

3. Fenway Park (Boston Red Sox) - This baseball park has had this name for over 100 years and there is some dispute over whether it's named after the neighborgood its in, or a realty company that was connected to the owner. Either way, this name has had staying power. This park is a national landmark. It should honestly be designated by the federal government as such.

2. Oriole Park at Camden Yards (Baltimore Orioles) - Camden Yards is such an amazing stadium concept and stadium name. It ushered in the era of retro-classic stadiums, and yet all of the other retro-classics that came after it feel like a pale imitation to its greatness. It's not named after a company - but a concept. The concept of a ye olde part of Baltimore that had antiquated warehouses and rail facilities from 100 years before. Then they encorporated those into the stadium. It's nice. How nice? #2 nice. 

1. Wrigley Field (Chicago Cubs) - How can you question a classic? Yes, Fenway might be slightly older than Wrigley, but we're ranking NAMES here. And Wrigley is obviously accociated with gum. And gum is associated with coming in packs of baseball cards. And baseball cards are associated with... well.... baseball. Moreso than the ivy-covered walls of Wrigley being a historic baseball site, it's just a great name that feels like it should be the name of a baseball stadium from the days or yore. Which, you know, it actually is.

Ed Ranks... RETURNS!

Hey, it's been a while. August 2020 was the last time that this place was regularly updated, though there have been sporatic posts since then (small enough that I could count them and simply say the number, but I'm too lazy).

Anyway, because time has moved on and more years have happened, more things have also happened. And more things means more things to RANK, because I rank EVERY THING and I was legally required to do so by starting up a Blogger site called "Ed Ranks Everything."

Apparently I was also legally required to obey some set of content rules as well, and then Google ran some new stupid AI in the last few years while I was away that flagged / threw warnings / hid a number of my past posts. I figured it must have been for swearing too much. I do love swearing. But then I was reading through a couple of the flagged "inappropriate" posts and they weren't particularly loaded with f-bombs. I mean I dropped an f-bomb in the Ranking of 2020 XFL team names but I mean the names of the teams were so stupid that the swear word was totally appropriate. And compared to some other posts... I mean... I dunno. Was it a copywrite issue? Did The Rock not want me using his league logo? I was simply hotlinking public domain images from Wikipedia.  Another post where I was ranking things worse than the "Cats" movie was also flagged. That one I made a Jamal Khashoggi reference. I guess that's a fairly graphic and horrific incident - but Google can't blame me for that. Google needs to blame Saudi Arabia for that. Or is Google getting paid by Saudi Arabia? You know, it probably is.

Anyway. 

I'm back soon and I promise I won't say anything else to offend the delicate sensitivies of either a stupid AI that just looks for word combinations to be offened by, or of any Saudi bone saw experts (apparently a key Blogger demographic).