Ed Ranks Meanings of the Song "Wet Sand," According to Random Internet People

Behold, WET SAND!

"Wet Sand" is the 13th song on the "Jupiter" album of the Red Hot Chili Peppers double album "Stadium Arcadium."

It's not a super famous song, nor was it ever a single.

But random people on the internet still have opinions about it, especially at the website SongMeanings.com. So let's rank these random theories. There are seven pages worth of theories at this website. No way am I doing all of them. How about just the nine theories posed on page 1? Sure! Why not:

 9. stuge: No clue

love it, awesome feel.. maybe someone could explain the wet sand bit?

Uhh... I hate to break this to you, stuge, but the website SongMeanings.com is supposed to include suggested meanings for songs. So submitting a song meaning which is "could someone explain the 'Wet Sand' part of the song 'Wet Sand'" doesn't exactly instill great confidence in me that you know how to use this website properly.

8. ckjohnson7: Overcoming adversity and addiction to find meaningless, fleeting success

ckjohnson7 posts a rambling, indulgent 1442-word-long theory that probably says more about his/her own deep psychological scars than it does about any lyrical content of a Chili Peppers song.  The crux of the diatribe is this:

Anthony has struggled throughout the years to overcome addiction, conquer the world through music, and find meaning in everything. It all amounts to a very small, temporary impact -- making a form in wet sand. Ultimately, the ocean of life washes everything away, but through his work, struggle, and searching, he has made a tiny impact in the universe, which is what he strives for, and what, ultimately, he is proud of, even if nobody else understands it.

The explanation then goes to analyze almost every single line of the song with lengthy, reaching explanations.  However, with regard to the lyric, "The disrepair of Norma Jean...", ckjohnson7 states that he/she "doesn't get" the reference. That's right. He/she provides a detailed, lengthy analysis for EVERY single line in the song except for one line, which is a totally obvious reference to Marylin Monroe. Which just proves that ckjohnson7 has no idea what on earth the song is actually about and is making shit up. Plus nobody has time for a goddamn thesis on an obscure Chili Peppers song.

7. de4dr4bbit: Sadness/loss of wonder

it's about the sadness from the point of view of someone looking at people who've lost their sense of wonder  

This one is just super lazy.

6. Avatar-rock: Inability to mature due to constant change

wet sand... hmm, it's like he's saying that most people can't build their lives and mature whilst constantly moving, like wet sand does, convulsing to any pressure, but he feels he has, and he needed that time of constantly changing and moving on to become what he has today? kinda works.

I'm not even going to try to figure out this review, since the reviewer themself doesn't even seem confident. I just want to know what this guy/gal's handle of "Avatar-rock" is supposed to refer to. Does he/she have a rock band where they all dress up as the giant blue James Cameron Fern Gully tree Smurf cats? Do they record heavy metal renditions of the music from Avatar: The Last Airbender?

A musical album by a group with songs and whatnot.

5. TheNostrand: Human beings, by their nature, cannot be defined

I think AK [Anthony Kiedis] is revealing something about himself and the environment that surrounds him when is in his true element. Think about it, if you put your hand in wet sand and take it out as to make a hand print, there is truely no form and nothing is defined. I think this is what he means by wet sand, the idea that perhaps this is the state that he as a person defines himself. Maybe he is asking his GF and soon to be wife to accept him as is and understand his nature.

Half of this explanation is actually trying to explain the concept of actual wet sand, rather than the song "Wet Sand." I don't think people need actual wet sand explained to them. Most people have, at one time or another, encountered wet sand and are generally aware that it exists and has a loosely adherent nature that dry sand lacks.

4. mopcop: A conflict between living a free-spirited or structured life

This song is about a clash between the free-spirit and his love, who is on a more direct path in their life. The free-spirit is "travelling from coast to coast", reveling in it, but pines over the lack of structure (something CONCRETE, SOLID, like a diamond?) which he associates with the standard "settling down" folks do (career, family, car, home). Whether this is a real person, or the person is a symbol, it works both ways.

I guess it COULD be about this, mopcop. Although it could also just be about how Anthony Kiedis likes building sand castles. Sand castles rule!

3. pfmonkey25: Religion vs. Evolution

 Supposedly this song is about Anthony having a fight with a girl, where Anthony believes in divine creation and the girl believes in evolution.

pfmonkey25 tells us to "Search Anthony Kiedis on google news search and click on the link titled 'Peppers are lost in space'" to provide proof of this. I can't find any such article, so this might as well just be completely made up. But at least pfmonkey25 is trying to make it SOUND like he/she has an actual source. And making us THINK that he/she knows what the song is actually about is a pretty effective strategy. So let's just go ahead and give points for effort. Although I will say that the song is absolutely NOT about this topic at all.

Looks like music-type stuff happening here.

2. rhcpayne: Inability to connect with others

"You don't form in the wet sand" was actually a line and tune that John had in his head for awhile. Anthony heard him mumbling it over and over and asked if he could use it. I think that Anthony used it and added lyrics that show his inability to connect with his significant others on a permanant basis. This has been shown in his many serious, but unlasting relationships. A lot of the lines are hopeful, but followed by feelings of disconnect, which comes to a head in the chorus at the end of the song.

rhcpayne speaks pretty authoritatively, as if he/she has a reference to prove this story about Anthony [Kiedis] taking the words from John [Frusciante] is a fact. CITATION NEEDED.

1. lnkndarkness: Not a damn thing

the wet sand part that is seeming to escape everyone is doing so because it means... nothing... when john frusciante was jamming the music to this at band practice before the lyrics were written and he was mumblin some random words, and anthiny heard some of em... one of the things john mumbled was "Wet Sand"... which anthony felt was just an incredible phrase

This "theory" (about Kiedis stealing the words from Frusciante) actually is consistent with rhcpayne's theory. Since both of these meanings appear to be citing the same source - maybe there actually IS a valid citation to be had somewhere. Given that the stories re-enforce one another, these have to be the top two theories. However, this one is clearly the winner because it's the most logical. Songs aren't usually about anything at all. Rock stars do a bunch of drugs and write down some random lyrics when they are high AF. Isn't that the most plausible explanation/meaning of all?