Ed Ranks Cybermen Serials of the Original Doctor Who Series

This ranking is exxxxxxcellent.

No post-2005 Who here. Just 1963 to 1989.  Cameos where the Cybermen are briefly seen--but do not play an important role in the story--do not count (i.e. The War Games, Carnival of Monsters).

10. The Moonbase

Season: 4 (1967)

Synopsis: In the year 2070, there is a base on the moon that has a weather control device. However, the people on the base are all dying from some mysterious space plague. The plague winds up being caused by the Cybermen, who can apparently be easily harmed with some fire extinguishers. After a bunch of bullshit, the Doctor realizes that there isn't much gravity on the Moon, and so they use the weather control device to reverse the gravity to fling all the Cybermen into outer-space to die. Or, presumably, live an eternal, undying life in the endless void.

Analysis: I hate ranking this one last because that's sort of unfair. Half the episodes are missing/destroyed so I haven't even seen half of it. It also re-introduced the Cybermen in a much more cool-looking, silver, robotic form that was a vast improvement from their first appearance as flimsy hobos in ski masks at the South Pole (see #8). The iconic look they received in this serial stayed, and this established the Cybermen as who we know them to be. Reappearing also cemented them as a recurring villain like the Daleks. But did we really need another Cybermen serial four serials after they were just introduced? A little too soon. And the fire extinguisher and gravity plot devices were just bad.

Does Adric Blow Up? No. Adric is still over a decade away from being introduced. 

9. The Wheel in Space

Season: 5 (1968)

Oh, hey Zoe.

Synopsis: Remember The Moonbase? Yeah. Well, it's that again. Except this time it's a space station instead of a moonbase. Also this time, the Cybermen want to take over the space station to use its radio as a beacon for their invasion of Earth. The Cybermen-defeating plot device du jour this time is now an X-Ray, which can kill all the Cybermen as they do an extremely unconvincing "space walk" against a green screen. But hey, at least we get introduced to Zoe Heriot.

Analysis: A lot of serials in this era follow a  "trapped on a ship/base and being killed one-by-one by monsters" story - because Doctor Who had no money and writing episodes like this made them cheap because you only had to worry about a limited number of sets for filming. But I can barely remember the differences between this episode and The Moonbase, and I always mix up which happens in which one.  They're essentially the same. This one has even more missing episodes though, and only 2 of the 6 episodes in the serial survive. Honestly, The Moonbase might be slightly better than this one -- but no way am I ranking a damn Ben and Polly serial in front of the serial that introduces Zoe Heriot.  Also, this serial adds the little "teardrop" design to the Cybermen's eyes. Presumably because they were in prison.

Does Adric Blow Up? No. Although the Zoe character is a lot like Adric in that she's a young, mathematical genius.

8.  The Tenth Planet

Season: 4 (1966)

Synopsis: It turns out that Earth used to have an identical twin planet (literally identical, it was just Earth flipped upside down, AKA "Australian Earth"). This planet drifted away and all the inhabitants became weak and enhanced themselves with technology to survive, thus creating the Cybermen. In the FUTURISTIC YEAR OF 1986, the Cybermen decide to put some rockets on their ol' planet (Mondas) to bring it back to the Earth and, like, steal the Earth's "essence" or some hippy bullshit like that. They also want to turn all humans into Cybermen because they think being a Cyberman is pretty cool. Or they want to destroy the Earth. It's not exactly clear. The First Doctor is at a South Pole base called Snowcap trying to defeat them. Although I'm not sure he actually does anything relevant to the plot, because I think the Cybermen all on their own fuck up and take "too much" of Earth's essence and destroy their own planet. What a bunch of dipshits.  Oh, also Cybermen are not the cool-looking android guys you're used to. They are fuckwits in ski masks with air conditioners on their chests, flashlights on their head, and they talk in sing-songey voices whith gaping mouths that are annoying AF. So annoying that the Doctor dies at the end of the serial for no damn reason.

Analysis: Okay, so some credit to this serial for introducing the Cybermen and attempting to deal with some scientific concepts that were ahead of their time. This serial dealt with questions of post-humanism like the merging of humanity and technology. Cyberpunk and the Borg owe a lot to this.  As in The Graduate, the 1960s were an era when plastic was the new, big thing so it seemed more cool and futuristic that cyborgs would be plastic-based rather than metal. Fortunately that changed by the time they came back. Despite how ambitious and thoughtful the concepts behind the serial might have been, the story itself and science are absolute hot garbage.  And I'm pretty sure that had the Doctor and his companions not showed up, nothing different would have happened because the Cybermen would have still sucked in too much energy and blown up their planet, right? In fact, the Doctor did barely show up and he was missing for a few episodes. Then he dies and gets a new body. Which was an awesome plot device that allowed the show to keep going for another 50+ years.

Does Adric Blow Up? No. Adric's pocket universe known as Exo-Space hasn't even been discovered yet. Or maybe it has because this is THE FUTURISTIC YEAR OF 1986.  But you know what does blow up? The Cybermen's home planet.

7. Attack of the Cybermen

Season: 22 (1985)

Synopsis: Cybermen from THE DEEP FUTURE remember The Tenth Planet from re-runs and know that their home of Mondas is destroyed in THE FUTURISTIC YEAR OF 1986.  They decide to travel back in time to 1985 and ruin Earth to prevent the events of 1986 from ever occurring.  They then remember and say, "Oh yeah, isn't Halley's Comet coming around to this planet soon?"  So they decide that they want to redirect Halley's Comet to smash into the Earth.  The Cybermen (led by the cone-headed Cyber Controller, who is several notches above the usual Cyber Leader) run their plot from the planet of Telos, and also appear to get aid from a former Dalek Employee of the Month, Lytton. But Lytton's not really on their side, and the local natives of the planet Telos (Cryons) also want to mess up the Cybermen's plans.  The Cybermen, unsurprisingly, get blown up before they can change history. THE FUTURISTIC YEAR OF 1986 is saved and we won't have to deal with any tragic, demoralizing, space-related disasters. Well, except for the Challenger, I suppose... but we can't blame the Cybermen for that.

Analysis: This serial was more of a tribute to old Doctor Who serials than anything new. Its main plot is a call-back to the first Cybermen serial, which is sort of cool, and to the planet Telos and the Cyber Controller from The Tomb of the Cybermen. And it is also partially set at 76 Totter's lane, where the first scene of the first episode of the show was set in 1963.  But it's also all over the place and makes no sense.  And the inclusion of Lytton, previously a Dalek henchman, in the story made no sense.  He also has an illogical heel-face turn that is totally inconsistent with how he was previously characterized as a ruthless killer.  The Cryons are also just the worst.

Does Adric Blow Up? No. Adric has already blown up by this time. But the Cybermen are still really in to the whole "smash a space object into Earth and blow it up" plan.

6. Silver Nemesis

Why does this look like a youth baseball team photo?

Season: 25 (1988)

Synopsis: A BBC producer realizes that his 25th wedding anniversary is tomorrow and he has to quickly buy a gift. He's reminded that the 25th anniversary is the "silver" anniversary, buys a silver necklace, and a marriage crisis is averted.  Coincidentally, the next day the BBC also needs to green-light the plot for the 25th Anniversary serial of Doctor Who. So the producer says... "Uhhh, Silver Something?"  The BBC figure that, since the Cybermen are silver-colored, they better just use them for a silver anniversary.  But they still don't have a serial written so they're like, "What was the last Cybermen serial about?" And someone says, "Halley's Comet." And then they copy and paste the script and make it about a space object that comes around every few decades, just like Halley's Comet, except they call it "Nemesis." But then a writer is like, "Well, we have to explain what Nemesis is."  So someone else is like, "Uhh... an ancient Gallifreyan artifact with super magical powers?"  And the writer is like, "But we just used that plot device TWO SERIALS AGO with the Hand of Omega."  But the BBC is short on time and like, "Screw it! Add some Neo-Nazis and a time traveling Renaissance Faire lady and we'll call it a day."

Analysis: The serial isn't actually as bad as I make it seem in the synopsis above, but there really isn't much new or original to it.  It's almost a beat-for-beat remake of Remembrance of the Daleks, which was (as noted) just two serials before. Just replace warring Dalek factions with... uh... Lady Peinforte?

Does Adric Blow Up? Negative. 

5. Revenge of the Cybermen

Season: 12 (1975)

Synopsis: The Cybermen realize that being allergic to things like fire extinguishes, x-rays and gravity is stupid.  So now they are allergic to gold, for some reason.  There was a giant "Cyber War" at some time in the future and the Cybermen were nearly wiped out by gold.  Well, now they're back and they want to blow up Voga, a planet made of gold, to ensure that the galaxy's gold supplies are disrupted.  To set the stage for the destruction of Voga, they take over a space station that is exactly the same as a space station used earlier in the same season of the TV show, with a convenient plot explanation for why it is the exact same space station but in a different location during a different era of the future. Fortunately the Cybermen are not only allergic to gold though. They are also allergic to stock footage from NASA of 1960's rocket launches, and a Saturn V rocket blows them up.  Hopefully one without an Apollo lunar capsule on top.

Analysis: When this serial aired, the Cybermen hadn't been seen since 1968. It was great to have them back! It's the first time they appeared in color, as well as the first introduction of the "Cyber Leader" with his black helmet.  Yeah, parts of this serial are admittedly bad.  But it's totally watchable because it's the Forth Doctor, Sarah Jane, Harry Sullivan, and freaking Cybermen that shoot little cap gun fireworks from their heads!

Does Adric Blow Up? No. The Fourth Doctor hasn't even met Adric yet.

4. The Five Doctors

Season: 20 (1983)

Synopsis: The Lord President of Gallifrey uses an ancient, now banned device called the "Time Scoop" to suck up five incarnations (well... four) of the Doctor and his enemies to play an elaborate Hunger Games-style event called "the Games of Rassilon." Why? Mostly for shits and giggles, but also because he believes the Doctor can get to Rassilon's tomb and uncover Rassilon's legendary secret to immortality.  Yeah, this Lord President guy wants to live forever.  The Cybermen are one of the Doctor's adversaries that get sucked  up, and they play a significant part in the plot until they are killed by a combination of (1) a silver version of "the Gimp" from Pulp Fiction known as a Raston Warrior Robot, (2) an electrified chess board of death, and (3) The Master.

Analysis: Yes, this is absolutely a Cybermen episode (not serial, since it's just one movie-length special).  I know the Cybermen aren't the only villains, as this one was an ensemble piece.  Really the main advisories are The Master and the Lord President (Borusa, who does a face-heel turn after appearing numerous times as a good guy).  But the Cybermen had a pretty big role in the episode when you compare them to other "cameo" type villains like the Daleks and Yeti.

Does Adric Blow Up? No, Adric blew up a year-and-a-half prior to this special. Or, arguably, 65 million years prior. It depends how you count.

3. The Tomb of the Cybermen

AKA the Japanese Capsule Hotel of the Cybermen

Season: 5 (1967)

Synopsis: The Doctor and his TARDIS crew land on the planet Telos where they discover some future Earth dudes doing an awesome archeological dig in what is clearly meant to be a narrative stand-in for early 20th century digs in Egypt.  The Doctor then learns that they're digging for the old tombs of Cybermen... which apparently used to live on this planet before they all died.  But guess what!  They're not dead!  These aren't tombs at all... just cryogenic chambers where they've been sleeping.  Of course they get woken up and want to kill/convert everyone!  Fortunately, the Doctor realizes that all he has to do is kill their leader, the "Cyber Controller," and the rest of the Cybermen will be happy to have the film of them emerging from their tombs played backwards so they all go back to sleep again.

Analysis: The master copy of this serial was erased by the BBC ages ago because they thought nobody cared about old black and white Doctor Who serials . It therefore became legendary and people talked about it like it was the greatest lost treasure of all time.  It reached mythic status as a fantastic episode that was forever lost.  When trying to rank Doctor Who serials (who would do something lame like that?) many people (who never actually saw it) said it was the greatest thing EVAR.  Then in 1991 they found a copy in Hong Kong.  It didn't quite live up to all the hype, but the mythic legend of it had grown so much that many people still rank it as the greatest Cyberman episode ever.  It's not.  It's just The Mummy in space.

Does Adric Blow Up? No, but thank you for continuing to ask me that question.

2. The Invasion

Season: 6 (1968)

Well, there goes London.

Synopsis: In the FUTURISTIC YEAR OF... uhh... 197something (UNIT episodes are pretty inconsistent on when they are set), the Cybermen decide to invade Earth with the help of a traitorous human being, Mavic Chen Tobias Vaughn.  Vaughn believes he can make a deal with the Cybermen that will allow them to share in conquest and power.  The Cybermen even help to upgrade him with cyber technology while "leaving his mind alone."  But Cybermen are sort of dicks who don't really think agreements with lame flesh people are to be honored, so you can guess how this deal will work out.  The Cybermen launch a massive invasion of London and march along all those monuments you see on post cards, but especially St. Paul's Cathedral.  They invade elsewhere around the world too... but who cares about cities other than London, really?  Once the Cybermen's invasion plan starts to go a little awry because of the work of the awesome new "United Nations Intelligence Taskforce" (UNIT), they say "fuck it" and decide that they'll just blow up Earth with a MEGARTRON bomb (yep, Megatron).  Vaughn doesn't like that because he sort of wanted to rule a version of Earth that wasn't hot ashes.  So he flips and helps UNIT (and the Russians) turn of the homing beacons for the invasion and locate the Cyber ship to blow it to smithereens.  Of course he dies in the process too, because that's how it works with villains.

Analysis: This serial is much better than The Tomb of the Cybermen, no matter what anybody says.  It's fantastic!  If there is anything wrong with it, it's that it's too long. It's 8 episodes long, and 2 episodes are missing (but have been redone in animation, like many other lost episodes).  The version of the Cybermen here are probably "the" quintessential version of the Cybermen.  The episode is sort of a James Bond-sytle action thriller (Vaughn is totally a Bond villain) and it introduces UNIT.  The entire template for the Third Doctor's run was essentially set up by this Second Doctor episode.  The Cybermen were a truly threatening force in this episode, with the entire world on the line rather than just some dumb base on a moon.  And the images of the Cybermen walking by St. Paul's are probably some of the most iconic in the history of the TV show.

Does Adric Blow Up? JUST WAIT A MINUTE, OKAY?! 

1. Earthshock

Watching some All Creatures Great and Small

Season: 19 (1982)

Synopsis: A galactic peace conference is happening on Earth in the year 2526, with a bunch of adversarial planets putting aside their differences to unite against the Cybermen.  The Cybermen do not like this at all, and decide to place a bomb in a cave (coincidentally full of dinosaur bones) on Earth to blow it up.  But a bunch of space marines on Earth (shouldn't they be in space?) go in the cave and start getting killed one-by-one by a robot that looks suspiciously like a Raston Warrior Robot.  The Doctor stumbles onto the scene as usual, shuts off the bomb, and saves the day.  So the Cybermen are like, "Okay, Plan B."  They then hijack a giant space freight ship and decide that if they crash it into Earth, it will be just like the asteroid/comet that hit the earth and caused the K-T extinction event which killed all the dinosaurs (huh... I mentioned dinosaurs again. Odd).  But the Doctor knew the Earth bomb was being signaled to explode from space, so he traced the signal back to the space freighter and... sure enough... freakin' Cybermen!!!  After lots of lectures about how they don't have emotions, the Cybermen actually WIN AND SUCCEED WITH THEIR PLANS!  Yes, it's true.  The Cybermen defeat the Doctor and the space marines, and use their Cybermen technology to steer the ship for a course directly to Earth at warp speed with a few hostages left on it (including Adric, the Doctor's companion and mathematical genius who is so good at math that he got a GOLD STAR).  The Cybermen, being assholes, decide to watch the whole thing on the screen in the Doctor's TARDIS like petty bitches and laugh.  The freighter collides into the Earth and completely obliterates 75% of all life on the planet and causes the dominant species to become extinct.  That dominant form of life being, of course, dinosaurs. Wait. What? What the hell? Yeah... you see... when the Cybermen left Adric on the ship, he started messing with the Cybermen's steering control device.  Apparently messing with this device while going at warp speed caused the ship to go back in time 65 million years and it became the Chicxulub impactor that wiped out the dinosaurs.  So the Cybermen, instead of wiping out humanity, accidentally help to CREATE IT.  Fortunately, the Doctor still had Adric's GOLD STAR and he slammed in right into the Cyberleader's chest and then shot him a few times.

Analysis: HELLS TO THE YEAH! ISN'T THAT THE BEST SYNOPSIS EVER? I GIVE THIS SERIAL A GOLD STAR IN SWEETNESS.

Does Adric Blow Up? Yes. Adric stayed on the space ship to the very end, refusing to use the escape pods until he figured out how to stop the ship. Unfortunately, he never realized that he didn't have to stop it. Adric blew up big time. *roll silent credits*