Ed Ranks the Kids in It by How Much I Thought They Would Die

I've never read Steven King's 1986 novel, nor seen the original 1990 miniseries starring the amazing Tim Curry. So I didn't really know how the kids in It would fare when I watched the 2017 version.  But I had some guesses.

Needless to say, spoilers ahead.

12. Bill Denbrough (Jaeden Lieberher)

• Who is he? The stuttering main character of the movie and leader of the so-called "Loser's Club." All the momentum of the film centered around him.
• Chances I'd Thought He'd Die: 0%
• Did he die? Obviously not. No way was this kid going to die. And he didn't. He's the freakin' main character.

11. Beverly Marsh (Sophia Lillis)

• Who is she? The main (and sort of only) female character of the movie. A girl ostracized as a slut by the rest of the town because kids are fucking mean.
• Chances I'd Thought She'd Die: 0%. Well, maybe 0.001%.
• Did she die? Nope, and there was no way she was ever going to. She's basically a tie with #12 above. 

10. Richie Tozier (Finn Wolfhard)

• Who is he? The best friend of Will, the main character. Also the most famous actor in the whole damn thing because he's the kid from Stranger Things. 
• Chances I'd Thought He'd Die: 2%
• Did he die? No. There was no way they'd kill the kid from Stranger Things. This dude was clearly going to survive the whole film.

9. Ben Hanscom (Jeremy Ray Taylor)

• Who is he? The new kid that movies to town and has no friends until he meets up with Bill's crew. He's fat and bullied by everyone, but he's book-smart and figured out the whole "murder happens every 27 years" thing. There was a small chance this kid would die, but I was almost certain he'd be a survivor.
• Chances I'd Thought He'd Die: 5% 
• Did he die? Nope. I called it right! Look forward to seeing you in It: Chapter Two, Ben! I am almost certain you'll be played by a super handsome, studly actor because you'll have "grown out" of the fat phase.

8. Reginald "Belch" Huggins (Jake Sim)

• Who is he? The belching kid who is part of Henry's sociopathic gang of older, bully kids. But he was too unimportant to care about. When I thought over this gang of bullies I figured this would one be the most likely to survive of them.
• Chances I'd Thought He'd Die: 20% 
• Did he die? No, not in the theatrically released version. Because he simply wasn't an important enough character to bother killing off. I watched this film the other week and I barely remember him. But notice the big jump from #9 to #8. Once we got past those four pretty much "un-killable" characters, we jump up to 20%. It's still not a HUGE chance, but it's still a much bigger chance. Apparently, in a scene cut from the movie, he's killed by Henry. But it didn't make the film, so I won't count it.

7. Mike Hanlon (Chosen Jacobs)

• Who is he? The black kid who's a home-schooled outsider that also has no friends. He also kills animals and stuff. Cool. Look, this is a horror film, so usually I'd assume the black kid has no chance. But for some reason, for this film I really felt that Mike was going to make it to the end of the movie. I figured the "black one always dies" horror trope wouldn't apply here, and that we've gotten beyond that cliche. But then again, I also had a lingering, minor doubt because this isn't just a 2017 book... it's source material is from the 80's when black characters were still dying left and right in movies.
• Chances I'd Thought He'd Die: 25% 
• Did he die? No. My initial instinct was right! But his survival isn't good news for all those farm animals that are about to get capped in the head.

6. Eddie Kaspbrak (Jack Dylan Grazer)

• Who is he? The hypochondriac with insane, overbearing, white trash mother who makes him think he's sick and pretty much wants to keep him locked up from the outside world.
• Chances I'd Thought He'd Die: 40% 
• Did he die? No. Right again! So far that's 7 for 7. Although notice another big jump in chances. Eddie was clearly in the realm of a "hrm, I assume he won't die, but if he does I won't be totally shocked."

 5.  Vic Criss (Logan Thompson)

• Who is he? The reluctant member of Henry's gang of bullies who didn't want to do the most sadistic, crazy shit that the other kids wanted to and maybe had some morals.
• Chances I'd Thought He'd Die: 51% 
• Did he die? No, not in the theatrically released version. As with Belch, in a scene cut from the film he's killed by Henry. I thought Vic had a higher chance of dying than Belch because he was more prominently featured and he morally objected to the things that Henry did more, so they were almost selling him as the villain searching for redemption. And that character always has an over 50% chance of dying.

4. Stan Uris (Wyatt Oleff)

• Who is he? The Jewish germaphobe and son of a rabbi who is always disappointing him because he's just not that into religion.
• Chances I'd Thought He'd Die: 70% 
• Did he die? No. So this is my first really "wrong" one with a character who I was pretty damn sure was going to die. Honestly, I kept forgetting this kid was in the movie. When I saw him, I thought he was Eddie until Eddie showed up in the scene and I was like, "Oh right, that's the other kid who I don't care about. He's clearly going to die!" There was even a scene in the movie when It started eating his face or something like that and I was like, "YESSS! FINALLY!" He didn't die. Oh well. Nobody's perfect. 

 3. Georgie Denbrough (Jackson Robert Scott)

• Who is he? Bill's younger brother and the kid in the yellow rain jacket with the red balloon who goes chasing after the paper boat and then gets pulled down into the sewer by It.
• Chances I'd Thought He'd Die: 85% 
• Did he die? Yes. The It pulling the kid into the sewer scene is pretty iconic going back to the miniseries, so I'm familiar with the concept of what is going to happen to him. This was the only character I had some preexisting assumptions about before I saw the movie. My assumption was that Georgie would die based on that preexisting assumption. Then the movie toyed with the idea that maybe he was somehow still alive. I didn't believe it, and that proved to be right too.

 2. Patrick Hockstetter (Owen Teague)

• Who is he? Henry's asshole friend who is ALMOST as much of a sadistic asshole as him.
• Chances I'd Thought He'd Die: 95% 
• Did he die? Yes. I knew It would kill this motherfucker the first time I saw his stupid, fucking face.

  1. Henry Bowers (Nicholas Hamilton)

• Who is he? The leader of a gang of sociopath, asshole bullies that go around tormenting the main characters of the movie for various reasons of dickery. But Henry goes beyond the usual type of teenage bully stuff into the realm of, "Oh, this guy is going to be a serial killer."
• Chances I'd Thought He'd Die: 99% 
• Did he die? Yes. Or at least we're supposed to think so. As he's attacking the Loser's Club for the 100th time, Mike pushes him down a well to his presumed death. And the distinction between Patrick and Henry is that I knew Patrick would be killed by the child-murdering creature, It.  Henry, however, was so much of a douchebag that I figured he could also be killed by a regular human being too. Which I guess he was, technically. I mean, if he is dead. I assume he is. Who falls down a deep well and lives?  I mean... okay... Jessica McClure. But who other than that? After I saw the film, I looked at the differences between the novel and the film, and he apparently lives through childhood in the novel (and 1990 miniseries) to wind up in a mental institution. So I guess we'll see!