Ed Ranks Doctor Whos by Outfit

This one should be simple, right? No Peter Cushing Doctor, obviously. He totally doesn't count. 

14. Sixth Doctor / Colin Baker

Ugh. Just Ugh. I think nobody can disagree with the ranking of this technicolor monstrosity, right? 

13. Twelfth Doctor / Peter Capaldi

I love Capaldi as an actor. But his character got mostly terrible scripts and an outfit that was just derivative of the Third Doctor. They never really knew what to do with his outfit, and it kept being mixed up a little. I mean Doc Martens is not enough to really wow anyone. Besides, the Cybermen wore them first.

12. The War Doctor / John Hurt

All things considered, this outfit is cooler than the 9th Doctor's leather jacket outfit. Why am I ranking it this low then? Because, as with Capaldi, it's just a bit derivative. It's a cool, rugged old Indiana Jones space hero outfit and everything, but other than having a satchel strung around his jacket, doesn't bring much more to the table than Eccleston did a decade before him.

 

11. Second Doctor / Patrick Troughton

Maybe the people who wiped all of his episodes just felt that people didn't want to see his hobo / Charlie Chaplin outfit. In his case, bow ties were only sort of cool. 

10. Seventh Doctor / Sylvester McCoy

Yes, this was a bit busy too, and solidly from the era of the Doctor having question-mark laden "costumes." But compared to the Sixth Doctor, this was a breath of fresh air. I mean the question mark umbrella and sweater vest weren't subtle at all. But at least the overall tan/khaki color scheme and panama hat aren't aggressively offensive. 

9. Thirteenth Doctor / Jodie Whitaker

The Thirteenth Doctor's outfit is just fine. Nothing to write home about, but nothing to insult either. It cosplays just fine and is distinctive enough to stand out as a "costume." If anything, its greys and blues are slightly on the boring side, and more could have been done with it.  The t-shirt is fine but maybe her stitch should have been wearing different, logo t-shirts all the time under the rest of the outfit. Imagine all the inside jokes they could have worked in with her t-shirt wearing. Sure, she could wear some standard stuff like a NASA shirt, but she could also wear rock concert shirts and come up with little stories about how she actually got them from the concert back in 68'. Throw in a "I Went to Metebelis III and All I Got was this Stupid Crystal" shirt. You know. Deep fan wank stuff.

8. Eighth Doctor / Paul McGann

This guy only appeared in Doctor Who twice (unless we start talking about the audios and expanded media stuff, of questionable canon), and each time he had a different outfit. The Old West / Wild Bill getup from the Fox TV movie was a nice change from the overbearing era of colorful question marks, but was still a bit strange. However, when he appears again in "The Night of the Doctor," his new, rugged, "I've been at war with Daleks for 20 years and don't have time to stylishly tie my cravat" look is SUPER AWESOME. So I guess the two balance themselves out and place him right about here. 

7. Third Doctor / Jon Pertwee

There is a cult around the Third Doctor that I sort of get, but I'm not part of it. I guess he's sort of an older, stylish, fop version of James Bond. But I just can't handle all the frills and velvet jackets, man. He's like a pirate Hugh Hefner or something. The 70's were weird. 

6. Ninth Doctor / Christopher Eccleston

 

Since Doctor Who had been off the air between 1989 and 2005 (save the Paul McGann movie), the return of the Doctor long awaited and what the new Doctor would wear was a huge issue. After years of insane fucking outfits, they finally went with "Oh, this guy is just a normal fucking dude who wears a beat up leather jacket" and all was right in the world. Refreshing. Not a fucking cat pin, antiquated tie style, or question mark to be seen anywhere.  

5. Tenth Doctor / David Tennant

All all honesty, Tennant's costume was super lazy. He was basically just wearing a pinstriped business suit, with his tie a little loose and wearing Chuck Taylors instead of dress shoes. For an "outfit," this is basically just a guy going to work and changing his shoes when he gets into the office. Yet I'll be damned if it didn't totally work and become iconic. 

4. First Doctor / William Hartnell

I'm not even sure this was really an "outfit." It was just an old guy wearing some outdated, old school Edwardian clothes. Was the idea supposed to be that he had recently traveled to the early 20th Century just before getting stuck in the 1960s? Or did they just figure since he was a dottering old man that he'd wear crazy old clothes. I'm not sure why they decided to give him this look, but it really stood out. Especially when he wore the AKarakul hat. The pants... are... problematic... though.

3. Eleventh Doctor / Matt Smith

Bow ties and fedoras are cool. And who though something as simple as a tweed jacket would work so well and stand out? Instantly recognizable outfit. 

2. Fifth Doctor / Peter Davison

What the hell is more English than wearing a cricket outfit in space for no reason? And placing a sprig of celery on your lapel? HIGH FASHION! 

1. Fourth Doctor / Tom Baker

It's all about an insanely long scarf, people. Nobody is ever  going to beat this.