Ed Ranks Baseball Positions

These are not my ranks, this is standard baseball numbering.

10. Designated Hitter - You're barely even a baseball player if you're a DH. This is the American League's phased retirement package to allow aging shitty stars a few more years of salary.

9. Third Baseman - Nobody strives to be the Third Baseman. It's a corner that barely sees any action, other than the occasional fast line drive. How many instantly famous Third Basemen Hall of Famers can you think of? Not that many... because 3B is the position with the least number of inductees into the Hall.

8. Catcher - This is one of the most important and burdensome positions in the game. You're involved in every single pitch when you're on defense, you have to help guide the pitchers on what to throw, manage the pitcher's delicate psyche, adjust to a new pitcher and new styles when the old one gets pulled, deal with wild pitches, face potential collisions at home plate, have an amazing arm to throw out people attempting to steal bases, squat all damn game long while wearing heavy padding because your own teammate is constantly throwing 90 mile hour rocks at your chest, and so on. And you know what the payoff for all that hard work is? Nothing. The catcher never gets the groupies and there are barely more C's in the HoF than there are 3B's. This is the position you take if for some reason you want to do most of the lifting for your team and get almost no recognition for it. You're probably the most televised player on the team but get no face time because you wear that mask. To cap it all off - your once respectable job is simply a slang term for the one on the bottom who has to take it.

7. Left Fielder - If you're playing left field it's because you're a good hitter and that's about it. Don't want you to work too hard. If anything even comes your way in the outfield don't worry about it too much because the Center Fielder will probably go and catch it and throw it for you anyway.

6. Right Fielder - Fairly similar to LF, with the difference being that LF can have a weaker arm because it's closer to the bases in scoring position where you really need to stop guys. The RF needs a stronger throwing arm because he's further away, but the right field is often smaller than the left (it depends on the ballpark, honestly) so they usually can be a slower.

5. First Baseman - It's honestly not that hard to play 1B. I'm sure a First Baseman will talk about how strenuous it is because you're thrown to all game long to get people out trying to get on base... but honestly all you're doing at 1B is playing catch. Like the LF and RF positions, 1B is where you simply put an offensive-focused slugger with no fielding skills to avoid getting injuries.

4. Second Base - Sure playing 2B is hard, what with the fielding and all. You have to make those critical pivots in double plays. But if you were really good you'd be the Short Stop. There are a surprisingly higher number of 2Bs in the Hall than I would have initially guessed - but then again most of them aren't Rogers Hornsby or Jackie Robinson quality. Most of them are just Roberto Alomar or Bid Phee quality.

3. Pitcher - Ranking the Pitcher somewhere is sort of hard, because they're unlike all the other players. In one sense, the Pitchers are the studs of the game - they become the most famous players and often deservedly so since the fate of the entire game really relies on their arm on a given day. Pitchers overwhelmingly make up the most players in the Hall of Fame (77) - and it's not even close. That being said, no no-hitter was ever done without the support of excellent fielding and you can't give all the credit to the P. Also, a starting pitcher really only plays once every five games or so, and usually only for about half the game, while the other players have to grind it out every damn game 162 times a year. And if you're not a starter, you pitch even less - maybe only pitching an inning or two in relief. So really it's a mixed bag that brings you almost to the top, but not quite.

Willie Mays doing Willie Mays stuff.

2. Center Fielder - This is the only outfielder who really needs a solid set of fielding skills. You're farthest from the action, need to run the most to field fly balls, and need to have a solid arm to gun down opponents in the infield. Added on to all that is the need to navigate weird and difficult bullshit that randomly gets put in Center Field. Minute Maid park has a hill and a pole in it for no particular damn reason. Old Yankee Stadium once and a CF depth of 520 damn feet. Fenway has a needless triangular shape in deep CF for no good reason. All things considered, the CF is usually a pretty damn good hitter too - with names like Joe DiMaggio, Willie Mays, and Mickey Mantle among the greatest. The first ten years of Ken Griffey Jr.'s career also implied that he'd be there too, but things went south for him pretty fast.

1. Shortstop - The most demanding defensive position in baseball, you've got to have top skills to play here. If you want to be a baseball player - aim for SS or Pitcher. Anything less is sort of just admitting you're not good enough. Sure you might not be that good, but they can always ship you off to Third Base if you're not talented enough or if your skills start waning *cough*A-Rod*cough*. Since more people are right-handed and righties pull left, more balls go to the SS than any other position. Shortstops are generally essential to turning double plays and assisting other basemen on manning their bases when they need to dive or run for a catch. A strong and fast arm is a requirement to throw out those hitters running to first. I'm not saying that it was easy for Lou Gehrig to play 2,130 consecutive games - the man had ALS. But it just goes to show that First Base is so easy you could still play it with a motor neurone disease. Cal Ripken Jr.'s later streak of 2,632 is SO MUCH MORE IMPRESSIVE because he did it playing the insanely difficult job of Shortstop. While often SS'es get a reputation as poor hitters - there are just as many SS'es in the Hall of Fame as there are RFs and CFs (they're all tied for second place behind Pitchers).