12. Quesadillas - Taco Bell has Quesadillas? Who even knew this? Bold move by Taco Bell in adding a menu item that a 7 year-old can make easily at home.
11. "Mexican Pizza" - I put this in quotation marks because it is neither Mexican nor a pizza. I think I ordered this a few times when I was a kid, but that probably stopped when I was 13 or so. I used to get it along with a giant Mello Yello. Or maybe it was Mountain Dew. I can't remember, but I hate my child self for this.
10. Nachos Supreme/Bellgrande - These are just gross. You can get better nachos at a baseball stadium.
9. Quesarito - What the hell is this abomination? A quesadilla and a burrito combined? It's apparently a copycat of a "secret menu" item at Chipotle. No thanks. Too convoluted. Just put the cheese in the burrito like a normal person rather than stuffed in its tortillas like some sort of weird faux Mexican version of a stuffed-crust pizza.
8. Gordita - In Mexican cusine, a grodita is a pastry made with masa and stuffed with cheese, meat, or other fillings (similar to an arepa). So Taco Bell re-interpreted this to mean "a taco on flatbread." WHY!? What does flatbread have to do with gorditas? And how is this any different than a Chalupa (see below).
7. Chalupas - Same thing as a Taco Bell gordita, but I suppose it looks a little more "fried." Still, it's just flatbread. As with the gordita, the real Mexican chalupa is nothing like this abomination. Real chalupas are hard-shelled like shallow little cups or bowls and you fill the bowl with ingredients. Like a mini Mexican salad, I suppose. In all honestly, the chalupa combo used to be my go-to menu item. I have no idea why because half the time their gross fried flatbread comes out stale like it's been sitting out for three weeks.
6. Doritos Locos Tacos - The idea is better than the execution. Is it just me or are these things super fragile? The slightest bit of pressure and the shell cracks open to a million pieces. Its too much work to get fat on this like I want to.
5. Crunchwraps - I'm going to admit that I actually kind of like these disgusting things. It's like everything you need to full on wreck your toilet, all conveniently wrapped in a little pocket.
4. Fiesta Taco Salad - I like taco salads and everything, but you should probably be going somewhere other than Taco Bell to get them. Still, they're not terrible here so long as the lettuce is actually green and crisp. Which isn't always guaranteed.
3. Burritos - I especially like the basic ones that are ground beef and refried-bean based before they tried to get fancy by stuffing them with rice, beans, and artisan meats or whatever they're claiming those meats are. I could actually just go for a $.99 menu bean burrito. Does that still exist?
2. All Other Tacos - I'm just going to lump them all together since they're pretty much the same, regardless of whether you throw sour cream on them or not. All things considered, these these are pretty good.
1. Cinnamon Twists - The only menu item that won't cause you to do serious cleanup work with the toilet brush later in the day. I assume.
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