This one should be quick and easy. No, not seasons of a TV show or seasonings for food. Seasons. There are only four of them.
4. Summer
Ugh, summer is the worst. It's so damn hot and muggy. At least where I live. Don't be one of those, "but I live in a place with dry heat" people. We don't need you bragging about where you live. Chances are it's a place with a poor water supply and in the next 50 years you're doomed when the water wars begin. Or sooner, given global warming. UGH. I just remembered global warming. Summer is going to get worse and worse, isn't it? And all those bratty kids out of school, running around.
3. Spring
A lot of people love spring. Maybe those people are forgetting about the plant orgies going on, where every single tree and flower spits out its yellow, powdery plant semen (also known as "pollen") and it goes up your nose and all over your freshly washed car. Seems like the perfect time of year and perfect temperature to open those windows up rather than have on the heat or AC, huh? Well, get ready for every single inch of your house to get covered in tree cum that will make you violently ill for weeks. If Spring is about rebirth, then I would instead hope that everything just die and stay that way.
2. Winter
Look, lots of people hate winter and I can understand that. But do you know what happens when it snows? You get school or work cancelled. Awesome, right! Much better than spring with it's yellow dusting of allergens that make your eyes and throat burn. Snowmen, hot chocolate, sledding, throwing snowballs at people. It's all great. Yeah, it's cold. I get it. But if you're cold you can can put on more layers until you're toasty and warm. Still cold? Put on more clothes! See how that works? Summer, on the other hand... if you're too hot you can only take off so much clothes. One, because the cops will arrest you. Secondly, even if you're in your own private home once you've stripped down butt naked and you're still hot, there is nothing else you can do. So, if it's the middle of winter and you're wishing it was summer - shut up.
1. Fall (aka Autumn)
Like Spring it's just the right temperature - but so much better! None of that nasty pollen and DAMN look at all those leaves changing color. So pretty, right? Think of all the "fun" fall activities you can do! There have to be at least 50 of them, I assume. Everything is so orange and pretty, you can start drinking the dark porters and stouts again, carve pumpkins, run through corn mazes, etc. Fall is the best!
4. Summer
Ugh, summer is the worst. It's so damn hot and muggy. At least where I live. Don't be one of those, "but I live in a place with dry heat" people. We don't need you bragging about where you live. Chances are it's a place with a poor water supply and in the next 50 years you're doomed when the water wars begin. Or sooner, given global warming. UGH. I just remembered global warming. Summer is going to get worse and worse, isn't it? And all those bratty kids out of school, running around.
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| Beautiful tulips... that are currently jizzing up your sinus cavity. |
A lot of people love spring. Maybe those people are forgetting about the plant orgies going on, where every single tree and flower spits out its yellow, powdery plant semen (also known as "pollen") and it goes up your nose and all over your freshly washed car. Seems like the perfect time of year and perfect temperature to open those windows up rather than have on the heat or AC, huh? Well, get ready for every single inch of your house to get covered in tree cum that will make you violently ill for weeks. If Spring is about rebirth, then I would instead hope that everything just die and stay that way.
2. Winter
Look, lots of people hate winter and I can understand that. But do you know what happens when it snows? You get school or work cancelled. Awesome, right! Much better than spring with it's yellow dusting of allergens that make your eyes and throat burn. Snowmen, hot chocolate, sledding, throwing snowballs at people. It's all great. Yeah, it's cold. I get it. But if you're cold you can can put on more layers until you're toasty and warm. Still cold? Put on more clothes! See how that works? Summer, on the other hand... if you're too hot you can only take off so much clothes. One, because the cops will arrest you. Secondly, even if you're in your own private home once you've stripped down butt naked and you're still hot, there is nothing else you can do. So, if it's the middle of winter and you're wishing it was summer - shut up.
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| Artsy! |
Like Spring it's just the right temperature - but so much better! None of that nasty pollen and DAMN look at all those leaves changing color. So pretty, right? Think of all the "fun" fall activities you can do! There have to be at least 50 of them, I assume. Everything is so orange and pretty, you can start drinking the dark porters and stouts again, carve pumpkins, run through corn mazes, etc. Fall is the best!
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