Let's hit "random play" on my iPhone and see what the first ten songs that come up are. And then I will rank them! How about that, huh? I hope Carly Rae Jepsen doesn't come up. That would be so embarrassing!
10. (Marie's the Name Of) His Latest Flame by Elvis Presley - Look, don't make fun of me for having Elvis on my iPhone. Elvis is great. Just because I have Elvis on my phone doesn't make me a loser. Elvis is timeless. Is this particular song timeless? No. I lazily just downloaded an Elvis "Greatest Hits" album several years ago to get a bunch of songs that I wanted because the math was better to download an entire album of songs rather than paying .99$ a piece for the ones I wanted. Along with the ones I wanted came this one. Which I skip every time it comes on. You know what I never skip? Suspicious Minds. That one is the best. You know what song unfortunately wasn't on the greatest hits album? This classic.
9. Charlie by Red Hot Chili Peppers - I just had a ranking where I talked about a random Red Hot Chili Peppers song. It wasn't this one. Again, this is a song I only have on my phone because I downloaded the entire album. It's not necessarily a hit or anything too good. I mean it's okay, I guess. More really album filler than anything else.
8. Feel the Burn by Fozzy - This song is by the Chris Jericho-fronted (of WCW/WWF/WWE) heavy metal band Fozzy. It's from their first album, which is sort of a gimmicky cover-band album. The gimmick was that Fozzy had been around for decades and that they actually created and wrote all the songs they were covering, but they had been exiled to Japan and all these other bands (Dio, Krokus, Twisted Sister, Iron Maiden, Motley Crue, Ozzy, Scorpions, Judas Priest) stole their songs and took credit. It was kind of funny, but Fozzy eventually dropped the gimmick and just started being a standard metal band that did their own songs. Even with this album there were a few non-covers, such as this one. It's just okay. Nothing special.
7. Don't Damn Me by Guns N' Roses - A deep cut from one of the 16 songs on Use Your Illusion I. It's not even close to the best song on the album, but it's not the worst. Would you like me to rank the songs on Use Your Illusion? Well, I won't. Just go here.
6. Sold Me by Seether - As with many of the others, this is a non-single that I have on my phone simply because I have the whole album (in this case, Disclaimer II). That album was a remix album of their original Disclaimer, and this was one of the few "new" songs rather than a remix. The song is pretty good. Every Seether song is pretty good (sorry if you think I'm a basic bitch for that opinion). My favorite part of the song is the part of the chorus that goes "And you moved me, and you soothed me, and you fought me," which until I just looked it up I thought was "and you fucked me." Well, that completely changes the meaning of those lyrics.
5. Bring Your Daughter... To the Slaughter by Iron Maiden - Okay, I'll admit it. This song is pretty cheesy garbage that was written specifically for A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child. Bruce Dickinson claims that he wrote the song in three minutes, which is completely believable if you listen to it. Look, it's really hard for me to call any Iron Maiden song "terrible." But this is sort of terrible. For Iron Maiden. Yet out of principle I refuse to rank it any lower than 5 because it is Iron Maiden, after all.
4. It's Been Awhile by Staind - This is probably Staind's most famous song, at least in terms of commercial popularity (it hit #5 on the Billboard Charts in 2001). What's the song about? Well, it is a rock song so I imagine it's about past relationships and addiction. Isn't that what most rock songs are about?
3. One Step Closer by Linkin Park - RIP Chester Bennington. Apparently he did break after all. Maybe after seeing his frosted blonde tips in this song's music video. Yikes. The year 2000 is hard to look back at sometimes.
2. Another One Bites the Dust by Queen - The bass line in this is one of the greatest bass lines in the history of rock. You really can't argue with that. And do you know how epic this song is? There is a Weird Al cover of it (Another One Rides the Bus). Once Weird Al covers your song, you know it's a smash hit.
1. Fade to Black by Metallica - This one isn't really fair. For a Metallica song from Ride the Lightning to come up as one of the ten songs on random play, none of the nine other songs really had a chance. Unless one of the other nine songs would have had the good fortune to have been from Master of Puppets. That would have been tough, depending on which song it was. Fade to Black would have probably still won though. Fade to Black is awesome. Metallica power ballads are awesome. Fun Fact: this is the song that Metallica was playing at Olympic Stadium in 1992 when James Hetfield stepped into the path of the stage pyrotechnics and set himself on fire. It's also the most commonly played "last song" on rock/metal radio stations when they are forced to change format. Now you know.
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| Old drug addict Elvis is the best Elvis. |
9. Charlie by Red Hot Chili Peppers - I just had a ranking where I talked about a random Red Hot Chili Peppers song. It wasn't this one. Again, this is a song I only have on my phone because I downloaded the entire album. It's not necessarily a hit or anything too good. I mean it's okay, I guess. More really album filler than anything else.
8. Feel the Burn by Fozzy - This song is by the Chris Jericho-fronted (of WCW/WWF/WWE) heavy metal band Fozzy. It's from their first album, which is sort of a gimmicky cover-band album. The gimmick was that Fozzy had been around for decades and that they actually created and wrote all the songs they were covering, but they had been exiled to Japan and all these other bands (Dio, Krokus, Twisted Sister, Iron Maiden, Motley Crue, Ozzy, Scorpions, Judas Priest) stole their songs and took credit. It was kind of funny, but Fozzy eventually dropped the gimmick and just started being a standard metal band that did their own songs. Even with this album there were a few non-covers, such as this one. It's just okay. Nothing special.
7. Don't Damn Me by Guns N' Roses - A deep cut from one of the 16 songs on Use Your Illusion I. It's not even close to the best song on the album, but it's not the worst. Would you like me to rank the songs on Use Your Illusion? Well, I won't. Just go here.
6. Sold Me by Seether - As with many of the others, this is a non-single that I have on my phone simply because I have the whole album (in this case, Disclaimer II). That album was a remix album of their original Disclaimer, and this was one of the few "new" songs rather than a remix. The song is pretty good. Every Seether song is pretty good (sorry if you think I'm a basic bitch for that opinion). My favorite part of the song is the part of the chorus that goes "And you moved me, and you soothed me, and you fought me," which until I just looked it up I thought was "and you fucked me." Well, that completely changes the meaning of those lyrics.
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| But the album cover is, as always, impeccable. |
4. It's Been Awhile by Staind - This is probably Staind's most famous song, at least in terms of commercial popularity (it hit #5 on the Billboard Charts in 2001). What's the song about? Well, it is a rock song so I imagine it's about past relationships and addiction. Isn't that what most rock songs are about?
3. One Step Closer by Linkin Park - RIP Chester Bennington. Apparently he did break after all. Maybe after seeing his frosted blonde tips in this song's music video. Yikes. The year 2000 is hard to look back at sometimes.
2. Another One Bites the Dust by Queen - The bass line in this is one of the greatest bass lines in the history of rock. You really can't argue with that. And do you know how epic this song is? There is a Weird Al cover of it (Another One Rides the Bus). Once Weird Al covers your song, you know it's a smash hit.
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| Subtlety, thy name is Metallica Album Cover. |
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