Ed Ranks Sedimentary Rocks

Sedimentary rocks are types of rock that are formed by the deposition and subsequent cementation of materials at the Earth's surface and within bodies of water. Are you stoked for this list now or what?


4. "Other" Rock

Rock that was made by an asteroid fucking everything up.
RIP Dinosaurs.

That's right, scientists are lazy sons of bitches too.  Scientists decided to classify sedimentary rocks based on their origin. There are three main origins for these rocks, which you'll see below.  But a few types of sedimentary rocks form in ways OUTSIDE of these three ways. So the scientists threw their hands in the air and said, "fuck it, let's just create a category called 'Other' and go home for the day." They then did exactly that. "Other" types of rocks of sedimentary origin include Pyroclastic flows (fast-moving currents of hot gas and volcanic matter), impact breccias (caused by comet/asteroid impacts), and volcanic breccias (lava mixing with the existing rocks).

3. Chemical Rock

Chemical rock comes into existence when minerals in a solution become supersaturated and "inorganically precipitate," roughly meaning that they become a solid. Common chemical sedimentary rocks include "oolitic" limestone and rocks composed of water-soluble minerals, including rock salt, sylvite, barite and gypsum. If you know what those things are, chances you were one of those guys like my little brother who collected rocks as a kid. So he might totally be into this ranking. I don't know.

2. Clastic Rock

Mmm yeah, that's some good clastic rock there.

No, not CLASSIC rock. Clastic. With a "T."  Clastic sedimentary rocks are composed of other rock fragments that were cemented by silicate minerals. Examples of those rocks include quartz, clay minerals, mica, and some shit called "feldspar." That's right. Feldspar. I know that sounds like some sort of character from the 1970's version of Battlestar Gallactica. But it's not. It's a group of rock-forming, crystallized tectosilicate minerals that make up around 40% of the Earth's continental crust by weight. The most famous types of Clastic Rocks? Sandstones, mudrocks, conglomerates and breccias. The worst type of clastic rock is the band Rush. Rush is awful and Geddy Lee sounds like a stray cat yowling in the night.

1. Biochemical Rock

These are created when when living plant and animal organisms use materials dissolved in air or water to build their tissue. Examples include limestone (most limestone comes from the calcareous skeletons of organisms such as corals, mollusks, and foraminifera), coal ( plants that have removed carbon from the atmosphere and combined it with other elements to build their tissue), and chert (which contains fossils, the most notable type of chert being flint).  Why is this the most awesome and #1 ranked sedimentary rock? Because these rocks used to be living things. But now they are rock. That's sort of epic, right? Like Medusa turning people into stone. But... you know... in a science-ey way and with less snakes. I hate snakes.