Ed Ranks Post-April 2020 Chad Michael Murray Roles by How Much They Sound Like Chad Michael Murray Roles

Guys, an important update here. In April 2020 I posted a blog titled "Ed Ranks Chad Michael Murray Roles by How Much They Sound Like Chad Michael Murray Roles" implying that he was an extremely caucasian actor. However, it's now 2023, and Chad Michael Murray is still starring in things, and he is still extremely white.  And while CMM's career has taken a turn in the "direct-to-video" and "Hallmark Christmas movies" direcion, that is by no means going to stop us from DOING THIS AGAIN! 

9. Ted Bundy (Ted Bundy: American Boogeyman, 2021) - Wow. Yikes. No. No no no no noooooo. Why would anyone cast CMM as Ted Bundy?  People say Ted Bundy was handsome for a seriel killer, but I mean go back and look at pictures. 70's handsome must have been different because that man is no Chad Michael Murray. Anyway, I'm supposed to be ranking these "character" names by how incredibly white they sound, and while Ted Bundy is a quite white name - it doesn't scream ascot-wearing country club white. It screams deranged ladykiller. Which is not what I think of when I think of Chad Michael Murray roles. 

8. Frederick Balzary (Fortress, 2021 & Fortress: Sniper's Eye, 2022) - A duo of direct to video films with a barely-there Bruce Willis with dementia. Pretty sad. But Balzary is way too "ethnic" for CMM. I think its Hungarian (it's actually the real surname of Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers). Yes, Hungarians are white. But Chad Michael Murray's white-named film roles have to sound like the type of white that would keep the Eastern European whites out. 

7. Kevin Vaughn (Toying With the Holidays, 2021) - Kevin is pretty white, and I think Vaughn is sort of a Welsh name or something. I'm not feeling it though. Doesn't seem CMM-ey enough for me. 

6. Paul Barnett (Too Close for Christmas, 2020) - Okay, heading in the right direction. Still. Paul is too sophisticated and classic of a name for this total and literal CHAD. 

5. Joel Sheehan (Colors of Love, 2021) - Same as above. Sheehan sounds Irish AF, which is getting towards what we're looking for. Joel is all wrong though. 

4. Eric (Survive the Game, 2021) - Another direct-to-video with Bruce Willis. Eric sort of works, but the lack of a last name hurts. They could really up'ed the Chad Michael Murray-ness of this character by giving him a very CMM last name. Lost opportunity. 

3. Gabriel (Angel Falls Christmas, 2021) - This one only works if he's technically Gabriel but goes by "Gabe." CMM is a total Gabe. 

2. Cal Jones (Sullivan's Crossing, 2023) - HELL YES! CORRECT! Chad Michael Murray is 100% a Cal. He is a Cal 4LYFE! 

1. Brody Bradshaw (Sand Dollar Cove, 2021) - Brody? BRODY?! Ohmygod if "Cal" is a 100% CMM name than "Brody" has to be like a 110% CMM name. Chad Michael Murray was born to be a Brody and should never play another character that isn't named Brody ever again. And Brody BRADSHAW? Alliterative! EVEN BETTER!