Honorable Mention: Axolotl
First of all, cool Aztec name. Second of all, these guys are ambibians and technically salamanders, which really makes you think “both land and water, so not a sea creature.” Okay, technically true since they are fresh water and not the sea – but these dudes (and dudettes) basically live underwater their whole lives and keep their gills. All the other salamanders go through the metamorphasis stage where they emerge from the water but not Axolotls. Also they have these crazy ass fins coming out of their head. Oh, and I forgot to mention – Wolverine healing powers. Yeah, I know there are all types of lizards and amphibians that can do stuff like regrow legs or tails when they lose them – but Axolotls are super special and can heal like EVERYTHING that’s damged. Their central nervous system. Parts of their brains. I’d say these lil ones are basically immortal but that’s not true because humanity has driven them to near extinction in the wild. Oopsie! But again, only honorable mention here because they are fresh water bound and this is about the SEA my friends.
10. Dumbo Octopus
Poor Dumbo Octpus got named after the Disney movie about the elephant and, sure enough, this octopus has two fins that look like Dumbo’s ears. They certainly count as weird-looking animals, but they are not top tier weird like the others above on this list.
Known for their gelatinous, blobby appearance that has become an internet stable – byt the fact is that they live at a level of the ocean where the pressure is totally different – so that entire “blobby” look that gives them, their name is not even what they really look like normally. They look sort of like normal fish. They only seem to be blobs when we pull them to the surface to gawk and them and kill them via rapid decompression (because they aren’t designed to live at our air pressure). In terms of “what air pressure is it okay to live at,” they’re like the reverse of those millionaires on the Titan Sub. Sorry. Too soon. Anyway – I’m sure this would top some people’s lists but not mine because they honestly don’t even look all that weird under normal conditions.
8. Nudibranchs
While a Nudibranch might sound like the regional branch of a union of strippers (they’re unionized, right?) – this actually refers to a variety of different sea slugs that are almost all vividly colored and given names like "clown", "marigold", "splendid", "dancer", and "dragon." I guess they are sort of weird in that they are intensely colors sea slugs – but they’re a little too pretty to be totally weird. I think weird needs a little more ugly in it. The most famous of these guys is the “Glaucus atlanticus” aka “Blue Dragon” which as you might guess looks a lot like a blue dragon. But, you know, a slug.
7. Leafy Sea Dragon
You’ve probably seen this at aquariums. It looks like a seahorse (because it’s related to the seahorse), ecept it also looks like a plant. It looks a lot like seaweed/kelp and can blend in. Which at first makes a lot of sense because you’re like “oh yeah, camoflague… good idea!” But don’t like a TON of sea animals eat seaweed and kelp? Seems like a double-edged sword here. Imagine if someone had the power to disguise themselves… but could only looks like a delicious burger from Five Guys. Not the best strategy if you want to avoid being eaten.
6. Mimic Octopus
Let’s stick to the topic of camoflague. “Weird” is a bit of a stretch for this one. More like “unique.” Also, honestly they look pretty normal. What might qualify as “weird” is their abilities rather than their looks. As you might guess from the word “mimic,” these octopus like to pretend to be other things. While camoflague and the ability to engage in color changing is fairly common in octopii and related species – rather than trying to blend in like background or the sea floor, mimic octpus can change their colors to look like the deadly black and white-banded sea krait (or techncially like 8 of them… I guess with the 8 tentacles and all), but also other species like lionfish, jellyfish, etc. It usually impersonates fairly deadly/venemous creatures to send a signal to others that’s like “yeah, you’re gonna want to leave me alone.” However, it also pretends to be other animals like crabs so it can go up to other horny crabs that want to mate and be like “SYKE!” and then murder/eat them. Pretty messed up. But that’s nature, ain’t it?
Weird? Absolutely. But also sort of badass. Maybe you’ve heard of these guys – especially the “peacock” or “raindbow” variety with it’s vibrant coloration. These guys sort of look like the shrimp you might order at a restaurant but are famous/infamous as pets in aquarium tanks where they are absolutely brutal killers that can spear and smash all other lifeforms with their super claws. They pack so much punch that they are said to be able to break the aquarium glass and… I mean I guess kill themselves in the process when all the water drains out. Their eyes are also thought to be the most complex eyes in the animal kingdom – while humans have 3 types of photoreceptor cells, these mantis shrimp have between a dozen and 16 and it’s thought that they can see thousands of different colors that the human vision can’t comprehend. Which is weird and unnecessary because I think we have enough colors already. Just wait until Crayola starts marketing to these prawns.
As far as I know these things don’t turn into bats or suck blood – but they sure are creepy looking. They have a dark color and can essentially live in parts of the ocean with very little oxygen. Rather than having the traditional separate “tentacles” – the tentacles here are linked together in a way that sort of looks like the webbing on a frogs feet or… well… the wings on a bat. Like, you know, a vampire bat. Oh, they are also covered in little light-producing organs called “photophores” that can flash light at other creatures to disorient them to eat them. Which sort of makes them more like “Clubbing Electronic Dance Music Squid” rather than “Vampire Squid.” They also have little spines/spikes on their tentacles which absolutely make them appear like some Lovecraftian sea horror.
3. Anglerfish
Ah yes, the Anglerfish. This is the one with the little boop staff on the head with the glowing light on it that is used as a lure to attract other dumb fish so that it eats them. It is also typically depicted with fierce fangs that you do not want to mess with. Certainly a weird, creepy-looking nightmare fish. Actually, there are over a dozen different species of Anglerfish, so they don’t all look exactly like our cultural depiction of them – but yeah, all of them are sort of ugly and super weird. These are definitely the weirdbois of the sea.
2. Barreleye
Barreleye Fish have a transparent head. Like, totally transparent. A see-through head where you see their brains. Their head is just like Krang in the stomach of that cyborg in Ninja Turtles or something. Or wait… Morbius from Doctor Who is a better example but a little more obscure. Don’t confuse that Morbius with the awful Marvel Comics Morbius. This was a Frankenstein pastiche character who had a glass head and you could see the brain inside. Creepy.
1. Goblin Shark
KILLL MEEEEE!
Their name alone should tell you these are weird looking creatures – and unlike the misleading Blobfish that actually looks pretty normal under normal deep sea conditions… yeah… the Goblin Sharks are creepy, long-nosed, dislocated-jaw-looking weirdo sharks. Is Goblin Shark a good name for them? Absolutely. This was a good job of knowing what to name something because if there was a shark that was a goblin – this is it. In the Shark version of Lord of the Rings, these guys definitely play the Orcs. Don’t ask me what the Human sharks are. Like Mako or something? I dunno.
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