- One-shot episode companions don't count. I'm talking largely about all those Christmas specials between companions (your Astrid Peths), your people who push the story forward in a companion-lite episode (your Sally Sparrows and Craig Owenses), and those other one-shotters from the 2009 specials (your Lady Christina de Souzas).
- What about two-shot companions? Yes, I accept that Craig Owens technically came back a second time... but who cares? James Corden is doing fine with his stupid carpool karaoke and doesn't need me to count him. Also, Matt Lucas / Nardole doesn't count yet because it's only been two Christmas specials in a row and technically we haven't seen him as a for-reals companion yet.
- Those UNIT people from the 1970s don't count. I'm talking about the Brigadier, Sgt. Benton, and Captain Yates. Yes, they were great characters who drove the stories forward. Yes, they are more important and meaningful in Doctor Who history than a lot of the "companions" which I am counting. But they really weren't "companion-ey" enough, were they? Everyone knows damn well who the Third Doctor's real three companions were, and you'll see them in the ranks.
- I am counting characters like Adam Mitchell and Katarina - who joined the Doctor in the TARDIS and were immediately gotten rid of in the next episode/serial. Yes, I know they aren't important at all. But they still had those scenes where they were set up to make everyone see them as the next companion. Even if they were really just fodder all along.
- Grace Holloway? Sure, I'll count her. I know she never really "traveled" through time and space with the Doctor, but she is otherwise very much given the standard companion characterizations and role throughout the TV movie. Chang Lee doesn't make the cut though. That's not me being racist against Asians. It's just that he was really more the Master's companion than the Doctor's companion. Does it seem unfair that I count Grace as a companion when she was only in one episode while Owens and Nardole are in two episodes? Whatever. Give the Eighth Doctor a break.
- Sara Kingdom? Eh - this one is tough. The BBC's official website doesn't include her but a number of other official Doctor Who sources do. She was used as a sort of a stop-gap companion-type of character for the duration of The Daleks' Master Plan. She never made it out of the serial alive - but then again it was twelve damn parts long. I'll say she counts.
- River Song obviously counts.Wilfred Mott? Nah.
- Let's just stick to the televised TV series. While I'd love to talk at length to all of you about the accolades of Frobisher and Destrii, how about instead I just not? Click those links if you're really interested. And if you don't have to click those links because you already know who they both are... you're my kind of person!
39. Adam Mitchell - I said above that Adam counted as a companion. Not that he was a good one. Adam sucks hard and he should have been exterminated.
38. Dodo Chaplet - Remember that scene where the Doctor gave Dodo her tearful farewell? Of course you don't because it never happened. They just got rid of this annoying character off-screen by not featuring her for several episodes and then saying "Oh, she left." As the classic poet William "Ice Cube" Shakespeare once said: "Bye, Felicia."
37. Vicki - The first "new" companion added to the show after original cast members departed. Not memorable and soon gone herself. Let's not bring up just how creepy the episode she was introduced in was. For those unfamiliar, she was essentially a teenager being held hostage by a creepy old man who pretended to be a monster so that he could hold out until she was 18 to mack on her. Or something like that. Look, it's been a while since I watched "The Rescue." It's not exactly the best episode.
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| Here's Ben's pale ass being shirtless. If that's your thing. |
35. Jo Grant - I cannot stand Jo Grant. At all. Nothing would have made me happier than that fungus sap on her hand from Planet of the Daleks just slowly consuming her whole. It never happened. Is the fact that she did a topless photoshoot in the 70's with a dalek supposed to attract me? It doesn't. The only fantasy I ever have about this companion is of an Ogron snapping her fucking neck.
34. Katarina - She was just in two serials/five episodes total. Why does she rank higher than the similar Adam Micthell? Because at least she had a cool backstory where she was an Ancient Greek slave lady. And Doctor Who popped its companion murdering cherry by throwing her out of an airlock in space. Brutal, and 20 years before Adric
33. Kamelion - Did you forget about Kamelion? Probably, if you even remembered his/its existence. Kamelion could have been awesome because he/it could transform into other people. All things considered, it could have been a pretty cheap special effect for a cheap 80's show with wobbly sets. Just hire some random dude or lady to play him/it in an episode and be like, "this is my disguise today." But the writers, like, just forgot that he existed or remembered that the Fifth Doctor already had like four damn companions.
32. Sara Kingdom - She was badass for the short time she was a sort-of companion. Fun Fact 1: she was Jon Pertwee's ex-wife. In case you didn't know. I assume you did know she (the actress) came back in Battlefield. If you didn't, the rest of this ranking is going to be pretty boring for you because I'm REALLY getting into the minutia of Doctor Who trivia, in case you didn't already realize.
31. Polly - Polly and Ben were introduced together in the same episode and left together in the same episode. They're pretty much the same. And of the two, Polly is the one who didn't even get a last name. So why does Polly rank higher than Ben Jackson? Two reasons. In case that was too subtle for you, I'm talking about her breasts.
30. Grace Holloway - A companion of the Doctor that is also a doctor? That would impress me if she were a good doctor, but she's not since she pretty much killed the Seventh Doctor with shoddy surgery. And was that crying at the opera stuff supposed to endear her to the average American viewer? No wonder everyone watched the series finale of Rosanne instead of this TV movie. Chang Lee got all the good lines anyway.
29. Susan Foreman - The Doctor's granddaughter was largely uninteresting. No wonder he just left her on a post-apocalyptic Earth with a man she barely knew and was like, "Yes, one day I will return." Did he ever return? NOPE.
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| Are.. are you here to fix my toilet? |
27. Nyssa of Trakken - Smart and nice enough, but kind of an annoying show-off. The Doctor pretty much only took her in as a companion out of sympathy because, you know, her father was murdered by the Master and her entire planet was destroyed. Also by the Master. Honestly, the episode Logopolis probably has the highest death count in any episode of any TV series or media ever. The Master practically destroyed a quarter of the entire universe via entropy in this episode... but they mention that really quickly and just move on with the episode like it was nothing. He probably killed like a trillion billion people.
26. Donna Noble - I really didn't like Donna Noble in her first Christmas special, and wasn't too fond of her in my first viewing of Series 4. Upon a second watching she grew on me a little. Not much, but a little. Catherine Tate's sense of humor just doesn't connect to me.
25. Mickey Smith - He had his moments. High high water mark was that "Know Your Roots" Nintendo shirt.
24. Adric - Boy did the Cybermen fuck this kid's shit up. A gold star for mathematics and a gold star for dinosaur genocide.
23. Harry Sullivan - The only fault in Harry Sullivan is that there wasn't enough Harry Sullivan. It had been years since the Doctor had a male companion and it was about time. The stuff back and forth between Harry and the Fourth Doctor was great, but it didn't last long enough. Season 12 just might be the best season there ever was.
22. Steven Taylor - Swashbuckling space Captain. Hells yeah. This dude's job was to go around punching people. Peter Purves' American accent in The Chase is highly questionable though.
21. Barbara Wright - Solid starter companion. Great actress. But still unfortunately regulated to a role of just screaming a lot.
20. Clara Oswald - Jenna Coleman started out great in Asylum of the Daleks, but I think everyone got tired of her being so special and magic and important.
19. Ian Chesterton - Same as Barbara. Was actually the real "hero" of the show at the beginning when the Doctor was just some creepy old alien who hated humans. Which was kind of awesome.
18. Romana II - Eh, I liked Romana I better. Romana II just sort of became "I'm a female version of the Doctor."
17. Liz Shaw - The first time a female companion was treated like a smart, capable person that could stand up to the Doctor and not just as someone who screamed a lot. It was about time! Fans obviously weren't ready and the show reverted back to the completely useless Jo Grant after a season.
16. Zoe Heriot - Even though Zoe was an astrophysicist, all I remember her doing was screaming and not understanding things. Dat tight sparkly jumpsuit tho.
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| Fun Fact 2: Shirts looked like this in the 80s |
15. River Song - Her first appearance was the best and she could
never quite live up to how great she was there. But then again RTD was a
better showrunner than Moffat. There. I said it. And I stand by it.
14. Tegan Jovanka - I know I should be more annoyed by this crazed Australian flight attendant who is so obsessed with flying that she wanders into a blue police box on the side of a highway, assumes it must be an airplane, and demands to speak to the pilot. I presume she does this at restaurants and in bathrooms too. Tegan: "I demand to speak to the pilot!" Waiter: "Uh, this is a Red Lobster, m'am." She is just so awesomely 80's though. Every episode with her is like watching a 30-minute long Duran Duran music video. 13. Romana I - Better than Romana II. She feuded with the Doctor and was constantly rolling her eyes at him. She was so done with all of his shit.
12. Vislor Turlough - This dude was a sleeper agent for the Black Guardian and joined the TARDIS crew so he could viciously murder the Doctor. At least at first. How cool of a setup is that? After 20 years of companions who are largely just there... we get someone who we actually think about because we can't trust him. Of course he's a soulless ginger. He's also the last Doctor Who companion who is an alien rather than a human. This guy rocks and is severely under-rated.
11. Peri Brown - From the time Peri was introduced in a bikini scene we knew she served exactly one purpose on this show. I am okay with that. But that horrible fake American accent was like nails on a chalk board. Did you learn nothing from Purves?
10. Rose Tyler - In a way it was refreshing with the new series for the companion to sort of be of equal importance to the Doctor. But in another way the show is named Doctor Who. I got a little tired of watching The Rose Tyler Show and was glad to see her gone after two series.
9. K-9 - Every show needs a sassy genius talking robotic dog. Every. Show. Just imagine how more infinitely watchable ER would have been if Anthony Edwards had a robot dog assistant.Yes, I know ER already had River Song but it would have been even better with K-9.
8. Jamie McCrimmon - The fact that for almost three entire seasons Doctor Who was just a buddy comedy between a genius space alien and an violent, easily confused 18th-Century Scottish bagpiper is still incredible to me to this day. Jaime was great.
7. Leela - Leela was sort of a female Jamie, but even better because she wore a loincloth and wanted to go around stabbing everybody. Most episodes with Leela featured the Fourth Doctor constantly having to remind her that it wasn't cool to plunge knives into people for no reason. She generally ignored said advice.
6. Martha Jones - I like Martha so much, except for all of the mopey "unrequited love for the Doctor" scenes. Unfortunately, those ended up being more common than not. There must be a Series 3 fan-cut somewhere that just removes those. Like the version of The Phantom Menace with Jar Jar extracted.
5. Captain Jack Harkness - So cool he got his own spinoff. Which didn't suck. Sorry K-9 and Company, The Sarah Jane Chronicles, and Class.
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| This is how cops dress, right? |
3. Ace - A girl with a punk rock vibe who just seemed to hate everything about life, wore a leather jacket, and went around hitting everything with her baseball bat. Yeah, cool A.F. The worst part about Doctor Who being cancelled in 1989 is not getting to see more Ace. Sure, I guess you could read the Virgin New Adventures line of books, but reading is for losers and none of that stuff is canon anyway. How can it be canon? Human Nature (novel) and Human Nature (episode) can't both be canon, can they?
2. Sarah Jane Smith - Almost the best. So close Sarah Jane, so close.
1. Rory Williams - Obviously.
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