10. Pigs - Think pigs are disgusting and filthy because they roll around in mud and their own poo? Whatever, you're wrong. Pigs are freaking adorable. It's a damn shame bacon is so delicious.
9. Ducks - Birds are, overall, hideous monsters. They're really just small, evolved dinosaurs when you think about it. Not ducks though. Ducks are soOooOooo cute. Especially when they're babies.
8. Raccoons - Like pigs, you might disagree since you believe these are filthy, trash-eating menaces. But just look at that adorable little racoon burglar face. I know these guys are wild, but I still want to catch one and raise it so that it loves me.
7. Seals / Sea Lions - I'm still not sure what the difference between these two animals are.
6. Otters - Cute in principle just based on looks alone. They seem so sweet and innocent. Yeah, they seem that way.
5. Bunnies - So cute. I know Germans and others want me to try to eat bunnies - but that's a line too far. These are pets, not food.
4. Dogs - Dogs, Doggos, Puppers and their ilk (I'm including all members of the family Canid here - including your many breeds of domesticated dogs as well as wolves, foxes and so on) are super cute. Especially foxes. Like Artic Foxes. How cute are those? "Insanely cute" is the correct answer, if you were playing for points at home. They're not the cutest so. Sorry.
3. Penguins - Penguins are a bird that is the anti-bird. As noted with ducks - most birds are disgusting. Penguins are not. Also, the whole purpose of birds is to fly. They have wings. Penguins do not. Well, they do sort of fly - but under water. But we already have a term for that, and it's called swimming. These are confused birds that think they're fish but also cleverly discuss themselves in little tuxedos and waddle around like they drank too much.
2. Red Pandas - Red Pandas are essentially racoon that were injected with a super ultra-cute serum. Like you know how Captain America got that serum that made him super strong? Same thing, but with super cuteness. I mean just look at these fuzzy red things.
1. Cats - This is the internet, and by now you should have known that cats have won the internet. Like with dogs, I'm referring to all cats here - both your house ones as well as their wild and larger cousins. You know what makes a house cat different from a lion or tiger? Absolutely not a damn thing other than size. You give either a box and they will live inside of it like it is the greatest thing ever. You turn your head and they both plot to destroy and kill you. Mittens is probably unable to kill you with its tiny 12-pound body... but the intent is still there. But just look at how damn cute it is when its trying to kill you. And that whole purring thing. Adorbs!
 |
| Awwww! |
8. Raccoons - Like pigs, you might disagree since you believe these are filthy, trash-eating menaces. But just look at that adorable little racoon burglar face. I know these guys are wild, but I still want to catch one and raise it so that it loves me.
7. Seals / Sea Lions - I'm still not sure what the difference between these two animals are.
6. Otters - Cute in principle just based on looks alone. They seem so sweet and innocent. Yeah, they seem that way.
5. Bunnies - So cute. I know Germans and others want me to try to eat bunnies - but that's a line too far. These are pets, not food.
3. Penguins - Penguins are a bird that is the anti-bird. As noted with ducks - most birds are disgusting. Penguins are not. Also, the whole purpose of birds is to fly. They have wings. Penguins do not. Well, they do sort of fly - but under water. But we already have a term for that, and it's called swimming. These are confused birds that think they're fish but also cleverly discuss themselves in little tuxedos and waddle around like they drank too much.
 |
| It's like some sort of cute red dog-cat. |
1. Cats - This is the internet, and by now you should have known that cats have won the internet. Like with dogs, I'm referring to all cats here - both your house ones as well as their wild and larger cousins. You know what makes a house cat different from a lion or tiger? Absolutely not a damn thing other than size. You give either a box and they will live inside of it like it is the greatest thing ever. You turn your head and they both plot to destroy and kill you. Mittens is probably unable to kill you with its tiny 12-pound body... but the intent is still there. But just look at how damn cute it is when its trying to kill you. And that whole purring thing. Adorbs!
 |
| Every cat does this. Every cat. |
No comments:
Post a Comment