10. That Fight in the Hood between that One Guy vs. that Other Guy
Remember that one? The one where there were two guys from a poverty-stricken, 1960s construction-era public housing project? And they fought each other, shouting curse words back and forth? It was a classic.
9. FloJo vs. Cavernous Hemangioma
Dude, this one was so sad. We all thought FloJo was going strong until she faced her toughest ever opponent, a congenital vascular brain abnormality that made her subject to lethal seizures. RIP, GOAT.
8. The Cold War
From 1947 until November 1985, WSHH covered a low, brooding state of geopolitical tension between the United States, Soviet Union, and a number of associated ally or puppet states. Everyone hoping to see some "real punches" (e.g. thermonuclear warheads) be thrown between the two wound up highly disappointed though, as instead of meeting face to face - the two always seemed to just fight proxy wars in places like Cuba, Vietnam and Afghanistan. The Cold War finally ended on November 27, 1985 when Rocky IV came out and Rocky declared, "If I can change, and you can change, then everybody can change!" Although the Russian crowd wanted Ivan Drago to win, they saw Rocky's pure determination and desire to win... and started to hesitantly cheer for their American adversary.
7. Kanye West vs. his Own Sanity
Kanye West is perpetually in a battle against his ever slipping grasp on reality. Fans love to watch as Mr. Yeezy suffers mental breakout after mental breakdown in a slow march that will likely end with something like a barbiturate overdose after realizing that his fashion line is a fucking joke... or him shooting up a mall while naked and declaring himself as Yaḥyā, the Islamic interpretation of John the Baptist.
6. Bob Fitzsimmons vs. Nonpareil Dempsey
When WorldStarHipHop found Bob Fitzsimmons, he was just your average Australian blacksmith. But after setting him up with legendary bare-knuckle fighting master Jem Mace, WSHH transformed Fitzsimmons into the hardest puncher in boxing. It wouldn't be long until he would go on to fight Jack "Nonpareil" Dempsey for the World Middleweight Championship in New Orleans. With a 13th round knockout, Fitzsimmons gained the title. This occurred in 1891, by the way. The joke here is that WorldStarHipHop was covering fights that occurred long before the website or internet even existed. It's a very thin joke, I admit it. But there are five more of these left, so strap yourself in and just fucking accept it.
5. Lee "Q" O'Denat vs. Morbid Obesity
Whoa, talk about meta! WorldStarHipHop's own founder, Q O'Denat, had an intense battle with atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease, brought on by his morbid obesity. His morbid obesity won, by the way. He's dead.
4. WorldStarHipHop vs. Social Progress
I'd imagine WorldStarHipHop has probably knocked back social progress (to allow citizens in underprivileged communities to enhance and sustain the quality of their lives) by about 20 years. Which seems like a pretty strong contender for a "knockout challenge" video.
3. Judah vs. Tamar
Judah and Tamar started with a friendly enough relationship, but WorldStarHipHop.com was there to record it when it all went south! First Tamar married Judah's eldest son, Er, and everything was fine. But then The Lord struck down Er for his wickedness. Sick move there, Yahweh. Judah and Tamar were still straight though, since Tamar followed the custom of marrying the brother of her dead husband, Judah's second son, Onan. But Onan didn't really like Tamar and wasn't about that daddy lifestyle, yo. He didn't want to be held down with no kids by some trap bitch, right? So when it came for Onan and Tamar to have sex... sure... Onan hit that. He tore that pussy up. But when he was about to cum, he pulled out and shot it all over her back. Now The Lord God was not a fan of that, and so He struck down Onan too. So now Judah has got two dead sons, on account of dis bish Tamar. And Tamar be all like, "Now I should marry your third son, Shelah." But Judah be all like, "Naww bitch, you had two of my sons already and they both fuckin' dead, get your ass away from my family." So Judah sent Tamar away. But Tamar still wanted a baby because dis bish was thirsty for a monthly child support check that she could use to buy Cîroc instead of feeding her kid. And dis bish knew that Judah liked to hit up them girls on the corner of 39th Street. You know the ones. So Tamar dressed up like a ho (she didn't have to try hard because she already looked like one) and Judah didn't even realize he was picking up his own (twice) ex-daughter-in-law. He smashed that and, yep, sure enough Tamar got pregnant. But Judah wasn't exactly rich himself, so he paid her with a bracelet. Which goes further to prove Tamar is just a cheap ho. Not long after, Judah sees this Tamar bitch walking around pregnant and he's like, "There's that bitch who married my sons but now she's pregnant by some other man. Let's burn her ass." And so Judah tried to set that bitch on fire. He got a mob of his homeboys together and everything. But then Tamar was like, "You wanna know who the baby daddy is? You!" And then Tamar showed Judah the bracelet. Judah was straight shook. (Genesis 38)
2. The Caning of Charles Sumner
Who can forget May 22, 1856 when Representative Preston Brooks (D-SC) used a walking cane to attack Senator Charles Sumner (R-MA), an abolitionist, in retaliation for a speech given by Sumner two days earlier in which he fiercely criticized slaveholders, including a relative of Brooks? Not WorldStarHipHop.com fans! Because the video was viewed... uhh... let's just say 16.8 million times. I'm making things up anyway, so I might as well go big.
1. Marbury vs. Madison
When WorldStarHipHop uploaded the exclusive video of Marbury vs. Madison, we were all psyched that the fight of the century was about to happen. This was epic! The two fighters spent most of the time debating whether Madison's refusal to deliver a commission appointing Marbury as the Justice of the Peace in the District of Columbia was either illegal and/or correctable. In the end, it was decided that section of the Judiciary Act of 1789 that enabled Marbury to bring his claim was unconstitutional, as the clause granting the Supreme Court the power to issue writs of mandamus under its original jurisdiction enlarged the original jurisdiction of the Supreme Court beyond that envisioned by the Constitution. Although it ended up being a weak-ass fight with no right crosses thrown, it established the process of judicial review.
Remember that one? The one where there were two guys from a poverty-stricken, 1960s construction-era public housing project? And they fought each other, shouting curse words back and forth? It was a classic.
9. FloJo vs. Cavernous Hemangioma
Dude, this one was so sad. We all thought FloJo was going strong until she faced her toughest ever opponent, a congenital vascular brain abnormality that made her subject to lethal seizures. RIP, GOAT.
 |
| Berlin, before being reunited by David Hasselhoff. |
From 1947 until November 1985, WSHH covered a low, brooding state of geopolitical tension between the United States, Soviet Union, and a number of associated ally or puppet states. Everyone hoping to see some "real punches" (e.g. thermonuclear warheads) be thrown between the two wound up highly disappointed though, as instead of meeting face to face - the two always seemed to just fight proxy wars in places like Cuba, Vietnam and Afghanistan. The Cold War finally ended on November 27, 1985 when Rocky IV came out and Rocky declared, "If I can change, and you can change, then everybody can change!" Although the Russian crowd wanted Ivan Drago to win, they saw Rocky's pure determination and desire to win... and started to hesitantly cheer for their American adversary.
7. Kanye West vs. his Own Sanity
Kanye West is perpetually in a battle against his ever slipping grasp on reality. Fans love to watch as Mr. Yeezy suffers mental breakout after mental breakdown in a slow march that will likely end with something like a barbiturate overdose after realizing that his fashion line is a fucking joke... or him shooting up a mall while naked and declaring himself as Yaḥyā, the Islamic interpretation of John the Baptist.
6. Bob Fitzsimmons vs. Nonpareil Dempsey
When WorldStarHipHop found Bob Fitzsimmons, he was just your average Australian blacksmith. But after setting him up with legendary bare-knuckle fighting master Jem Mace, WSHH transformed Fitzsimmons into the hardest puncher in boxing. It wouldn't be long until he would go on to fight Jack "Nonpareil" Dempsey for the World Middleweight Championship in New Orleans. With a 13th round knockout, Fitzsimmons gained the title. This occurred in 1891, by the way. The joke here is that WorldStarHipHop was covering fights that occurred long before the website or internet even existed. It's a very thin joke, I admit it. But there are five more of these left, so strap yourself in and just fucking accept it.
5. Lee "Q" O'Denat vs. Morbid Obesity
Whoa, talk about meta! WorldStarHipHop's own founder, Q O'Denat, had an intense battle with atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease, brought on by his morbid obesity. His morbid obesity won, by the way. He's dead.
4. WorldStarHipHop vs. Social Progress
I'd imagine WorldStarHipHop has probably knocked back social progress (to allow citizens in underprivileged communities to enhance and sustain the quality of their lives) by about 20 years. Which seems like a pretty strong contender for a "knockout challenge" video.
 |
| What a ho. |
Judah and Tamar started with a friendly enough relationship, but WorldStarHipHop.com was there to record it when it all went south! First Tamar married Judah's eldest son, Er, and everything was fine. But then The Lord struck down Er for his wickedness. Sick move there, Yahweh. Judah and Tamar were still straight though, since Tamar followed the custom of marrying the brother of her dead husband, Judah's second son, Onan. But Onan didn't really like Tamar and wasn't about that daddy lifestyle, yo. He didn't want to be held down with no kids by some trap bitch, right? So when it came for Onan and Tamar to have sex... sure... Onan hit that. He tore that pussy up. But when he was about to cum, he pulled out and shot it all over her back. Now The Lord God was not a fan of that, and so He struck down Onan too. So now Judah has got two dead sons, on account of dis bish Tamar. And Tamar be all like, "Now I should marry your third son, Shelah." But Judah be all like, "Naww bitch, you had two of my sons already and they both fuckin' dead, get your ass away from my family." So Judah sent Tamar away. But Tamar still wanted a baby because dis bish was thirsty for a monthly child support check that she could use to buy Cîroc instead of feeding her kid. And dis bish knew that Judah liked to hit up them girls on the corner of 39th Street. You know the ones. So Tamar dressed up like a ho (she didn't have to try hard because she already looked like one) and Judah didn't even realize he was picking up his own (twice) ex-daughter-in-law. He smashed that and, yep, sure enough Tamar got pregnant. But Judah wasn't exactly rich himself, so he paid her with a bracelet. Which goes further to prove Tamar is just a cheap ho. Not long after, Judah sees this Tamar bitch walking around pregnant and he's like, "There's that bitch who married my sons but now she's pregnant by some other man. Let's burn her ass." And so Judah tried to set that bitch on fire. He got a mob of his homeboys together and everything. But then Tamar was like, "You wanna know who the baby daddy is? You!" And then Tamar showed Judah the bracelet. Judah was straight shook. (Genesis 38)
2. The Caning of Charles Sumner
Who can forget May 22, 1856 when Representative Preston Brooks (D-SC) used a walking cane to attack Senator Charles Sumner (R-MA), an abolitionist, in retaliation for a speech given by Sumner two days earlier in which he fiercely criticized slaveholders, including a relative of Brooks? Not WorldStarHipHop.com fans! Because the video was viewed... uhh... let's just say 16.8 million times. I'm making things up anyway, so I might as well go big.
1. Marbury vs. Madison
When WorldStarHipHop uploaded the exclusive video of Marbury vs. Madison, we were all psyched that the fight of the century was about to happen. This was epic! The two fighters spent most of the time debating whether Madison's refusal to deliver a commission appointing Marbury as the Justice of the Peace in the District of Columbia was either illegal and/or correctable. In the end, it was decided that section of the Judiciary Act of 1789 that enabled Marbury to bring his claim was unconstitutional, as the clause granting the Supreme Court the power to issue writs of mandamus under its original jurisdiction enlarged the original jurisdiction of the Supreme Court beyond that envisioned by the Constitution. Although it ended up being a weak-ass fight with no right crosses thrown, it established the process of judicial review.
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