Ed Ranks Things that a Coxless Pair Could Be

Just Some Guys Going Coxless

A “coxless pair” is a racing boat used in competitive rowing, designed for two rowers. The name implies that there is no coxswain (steerer, who faces the opposite direction) on the boat. 

But what if that WASN’T what a coxless pair was? Here are 5 other things it could be. 

5. A Sitcom About Andruw and Chipper Jones 

Retired baseball players Andruw and Chipper Jones (no relation) share an apartment together in the suburbs of Atlanta. Ever since they retired from the Braves and no longer have the guidance of their former head coach, Bobby Cox, they are always getting into trouble and can’t seem to keep get their lives together. It’s sort of like “The Odd Couple,” only a lot more terrible and with an awful premise. 

4. A Home Renovation Show Where they Don’t Use any Caulk

Joe and his wife Amanda are going to flip houses and re-do kitchens to make them amazing! But no caulk at all will be used! Oh, am I cheating by re-spelling “cox” as “caulks?”  Well, that’s how homonyms work, kiddo. Get used to it. Because a lot more of that is coming your way below. Especially dick jokes. 

3. Twins Born without the Ability to Produce Cyclooxygenase (COX) Enzymes

The lack of an ability for the body to produce prostaglandin-endoperoxide synthasem enzymes, also known as Cyclooxygenase (COX) Enzymes, would certainly limit the ability for these two children to biosynthesize prostanoids, including thromboxane and prostaglandins such as prostacyclin, from arachidonic acid. While it might not fatal, there could be some medical problems and it would certainly be the topic of some medical research if this problem was ever identified. 

2. A Cheech and Chong Movie About Cock Fighting 

This could be a terrible Cheech and Chong movie from like 1983ish where they are all caught up in the underground world of illegal cock fighting, but they lose their prized rooster (while they are high, naturally) and have to go on some huge search to find it. I dunno. Something like that. Let’s not pretend that this ranking is anything other than a filler. 

1. Bert and Ernie

No way either of them has a cock. If they did, I would have some serious questions for Sesame Street.