Ed Ranks Seasons of "House of Cards"

House of Cards Season Five will be out this May. Let's talk about the first four seasons. 

4. Season Three: Ohmygod this is the worst. I haven't even finished watching all of House of Cards because this season was so bad. I just stopped and took a break away from it.  Did anything interesting at all happen this season? No. Was it our goal to watch Frank Underwood manipulate his way to the top only do be a total failure as President? No. And the ending with [spoiler] Claire leaving Frank? Was that supposed to be a shock or surprising cliffhanger? Well it wasn't. Isn't this like the fourth time that's happened on the show now in three seasons? It happens like every six episodes, on average. Nobody gives a shit anymore about that. Their relationship is crap and built on lies. We get it.

3. Season Four: I haven't actually watched this season. Haven't you been paying attention? I just told you I had to take a break from it after how awful Season Three was.  But there is no way it could be worse. If the entirety of Season Four is Frank Underwood undergoing a colonoscopy, then it would still be a vast improvement over Season Three. Did I mention how bad Season Three was? Oh my god, those Fake Putin Episodes were just the worst.

2. Season Two: This one started really good. The ending of the first episode of this season with the train and the whatnot is like the biggest holy shit moment in the history of Netflix. Nothing will be better than that. And to watch Frank cleverly manipulate his way into the Presidency was awesome. But it wasn't as strong as the previous season. Why? Because the main antagonist of this season was Raymond Tusk. Which is completely weak sauce. When the main antagonist is an elderly billionaire nuclear industrialist - how interesting can things really be? I mean it's not like you could stretch that premise for twenty eight seasons.

1. Season One: First Season = Best Season. No wonder this show was so hyped when it started. It deserved to be. Kevin Spacey was at his most Kevin Spacey here. I'll put his performance this season up there with Se7evn, The Usual Suspects, and Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. Yeah, that's right. It's almost up there with Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. Who didn't hear Kevin Spacey doing his Southern accent in Season One and wistfully think back to Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil? How many more times am I going to mention Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil? Two more times: Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.  That was one of them. Now that we've got that straight - let's talk about why Season One was so good:

1. The talking to the camera stuff was at it's peak here. I love that! It seems like they forgot about it in later seasons, or barely did it. Him talking to the camera all the time was the best.
2. Zoe Barnes. How great of a dynamic was this messed up relationship?  Based on this performance alone, people though they would be able to stand Kate Mara. Little did they know what was to come.
3. Peter Russo. Oh man, did Frank fuck this dude's life up so hard.
4. Frank manipulates the hell out of everyone in an effort to get exactly what he wants, using cutthroat tactics and... you know what? He GETS WHAT HE WANTS!  This is what everyone wants to see. This cunning, suave, ruthless mofo use hookers and carbon monoxide and the vagina of an ambitious reporter to work his way from House whip (which means nothing, nobody gives a shit about the House whip) to Vice President. And after all that you just KNOW he'll be President soon enough

In conclusion,  Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.