I have absolutely zero evidence that any of these products exist, as I just made them all up. That being said - did you just see that
Pumpkin Spice Cheerios is a thing? Ohmygodpleasestop! The idea that any of these products could possibly be put on the market is the antithesis of common sense. Which means that they probably will be put on the market.
5. Pumpkin Spice Gasoline
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| Should people get all the autumn delight? No. This ethanol fuel is from 100% pumpkin sugars and all that other bullshit. |
4. Pumpkin Spice Semi-Automatic Pistols
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| Why waste all that energy chewing with your mouth when instead bullets of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and allspice can be directly shot into your stomach? |
3. Pumpkin Spice Morning After Pills
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| Don't let your one night stand be flavorless. Wake up the next morning to this chewable combo of 2mg of cloves and 1.5mg of Levonorgestrel. |
2. Pumpkin Spice Toilet Paper
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| Yeah, why not? It makes just as much sense as the rest of these stupid things I just made up, as well as the actual dumb products out there which are filling your grocery store's shelves. |
1. Pumpkin Spice Summer's Eve
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| I'm not even really trying anymore. I'm so angry with Pumpkin Spice season. |
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