From: online_supp80@pharma.can
It seems like wang pill spam is so passe now. It's done. Like wearing crocs. And yet I'm still intrigued. I can get Viagra at $0.89 a pill or instead I could save up and get Viagra Professional for just $2.67. What exactly is Viagra Professional? Is that like getting Windows Professional instead of Windows Home? Does this Viagra have Enterprise data protection? Remote desktop for both client and host? Is this a work-only version of Viagra that you're only supposed to use for a torrid affair with a co-worker or your office admin assistant?
8. Smile with Confidence Again
From: Dental Implants (worriedly.committeemen2@yahoo.com)
So spammers think I'm both impotent and toothless? Damn. I'll have you know my teeth are in great shape. And despite all those stupid articles that came out recently about how you shouldn't floss, I still do. Come on now people, you don't want to have to get dental implants, do you? At least not from Worriedly Committee Men 2. I assume worriedly.committeemen1@yahoo.com was already taken.
7. Home Warranty Approval
From: Total Protection (JoeBerry173@yahoo.com)
This message was just a poorly photo-shopped stock photo of a happy white family in matching gray T-shirts placed on top of a stock photo of a house. Try a little harder to sell me on something next time.
6. Get the Legal Help You Seek!
From: Local Lawyers (vtaNd@timebetterrise.com)
Oh crap! A lawyer is contacting me! Did I black out and kill someone and don't remember? Oh no wait, this is my spam folder. Never mind. And the "buttons" that I was supposed to click on in this email weren't even convincing due to jpeg lossy compression. It's 2016, vtaNd, learn how to use a png or get out of my face.
5. Walk-Іn Ваthtubs. Finаnсing аnd Rebatеs аvаilаblе
From: Walk-in Tub Outlet (lance.zubia543@yahoo.com)
Walk-in tubs are pretty much just for the elderly. And while the elderly are easily tricked by scams in spam email, you also have to take into account that many elderly people are just as easily tricked by trying to figure out how the intertubes work in the first place. So they've already lost most of their target audience just by the fact that they've sent this scam via email. Lance Zubia should just stick to randomly calling land lines if he wants to trick the elderly.
4. Browse Photos Of Christian Singles In Your Area & Chat Today!
From: Christian Dating (ewCZ59f@timebetterrise.com)
No thanks. But it's good to know that the fine people at timebetterrise.com are both local lawyers trying to get me the legal help I need as well as experts on how to find Christian singles ready to mingles.
3. Looking for AffordabIe HeaIth lnsurance?
From: Obamacarelnformation (ee5EPVIQ43@timebetterrise.com)
This email looks suspiciously like it isn't from the Obama Administration since they spelled "affordable," "health," and "insurance" all wrong (but in a way that looks right with internet default sans-serif texts swapping lowercase L's and uppercase I's). Hey, wait a minute... timebetterrise again?! Oh you!
2. Salut my stranger!
From: Irushka Smile (nnksakai@yahoo.co.jp)
This 31 year old Russian chick must really be into me if she's sending me these photos of her and saying she wants to move to the United States to live with me. And she wants to know more about my home town. Two questions back to you though Irushka - 1) Why do you have a Japanese Yahoo account and 2) Is "Smile" a super common Russian surname? Because I'd think if it was then the James Bond franchise would have totally already had some Russian femme fatale with that name.
1. Trade Finance Instrument
From: cheeckhaili@gmail.com
Should I be taking trade financing advice from someone with the email address cheeckhaili@gmail.com? Obviously I should, since Cheeckhaili begins his email by saying "Top of the day to you." WOW! How very polite. Is this how all Nigerian princes greet people? Because, if so, I really need to make more friends who are Nigerian princes. And if I keep wasting my time by looking at my spam folder, then I'm sure I can accomplish that goal in no time. At any rate, "Top of the day to you" opening an email makes any email a #1 email.
It seems like wang pill spam is so passe now. It's done. Like wearing crocs. And yet I'm still intrigued. I can get Viagra at $0.89 a pill or instead I could save up and get Viagra Professional for just $2.67. What exactly is Viagra Professional? Is that like getting Windows Professional instead of Windows Home? Does this Viagra have Enterprise data protection? Remote desktop for both client and host? Is this a work-only version of Viagra that you're only supposed to use for a torrid affair with a co-worker or your office admin assistant?8. Smile with Confidence Again
From: Dental Implants (worriedly.committeemen2@yahoo.com)
So spammers think I'm both impotent and toothless? Damn. I'll have you know my teeth are in great shape. And despite all those stupid articles that came out recently about how you shouldn't floss, I still do. Come on now people, you don't want to have to get dental implants, do you? At least not from Worriedly Committee Men 2. I assume worriedly.committeemen1@yahoo.com was already taken.
7. Home Warranty Approval
From: Total Protection (JoeBerry173@yahoo.com)
This message was just a poorly photo-shopped stock photo of a happy white family in matching gray T-shirts placed on top of a stock photo of a house. Try a little harder to sell me on something next time.
 |
| Not the stock photo that came with the spam, but it might as well have been. |
From: Local Lawyers (vtaNd@timebetterrise.com)
Oh crap! A lawyer is contacting me! Did I black out and kill someone and don't remember? Oh no wait, this is my spam folder. Never mind. And the "buttons" that I was supposed to click on in this email weren't even convincing due to jpeg lossy compression. It's 2016, vtaNd, learn how to use a png or get out of my face.
5. Walk-Іn Ваthtubs. Finаnсing аnd Rebatеs аvаilаblе
From: Walk-in Tub Outlet (lance.zubia543@yahoo.com)
Walk-in tubs are pretty much just for the elderly. And while the elderly are easily tricked by scams in spam email, you also have to take into account that many elderly people are just as easily tricked by trying to figure out how the intertubes work in the first place. So they've already lost most of their target audience just by the fact that they've sent this scam via email. Lance Zubia should just stick to randomly calling land lines if he wants to trick the elderly.
4. Browse Photos Of Christian Singles In Your Area & Chat Today!
From: Christian Dating (ewCZ59f@timebetterrise.com)
No thanks. But it's good to know that the fine people at timebetterrise.com are both local lawyers trying to get me the legal help I need as well as experts on how to find Christian singles ready to mingles.
3. Looking for AffordabIe HeaIth lnsurance?
From: Obamacarelnformation (ee5EPVIQ43@timebetterrise.com)
This email looks suspiciously like it isn't from the Obama Administration since they spelled "affordable," "health," and "insurance" all wrong (but in a way that looks right with internet default sans-serif texts swapping lowercase L's and uppercase I's). Hey, wait a minute... timebetterrise again?! Oh you!
2. Salut my stranger!
From: Irushka Smile (nnksakai@yahoo.co.jp)
This 31 year old Russian chick must really be into me if she's sending me these photos of her and saying she wants to move to the United States to live with me. And she wants to know more about my home town. Two questions back to you though Irushka - 1) Why do you have a Japanese Yahoo account and 2) Is "Smile" a super common Russian surname? Because I'd think if it was then the James Bond franchise would have totally already had some Russian femme fatale with that name.
 |
| And a top of the day right back to you, good sir! |
1. Trade Finance Instrument
From: cheeckhaili@gmail.com
Should I be taking trade financing advice from someone with the email address cheeckhaili@gmail.com? Obviously I should, since Cheeckhaili begins his email by saying "Top of the day to you." WOW! How very polite. Is this how all Nigerian princes greet people? Because, if so, I really need to make more friends who are Nigerian princes. And if I keep wasting my time by looking at my spam folder, then I'm sure I can accomplish that goal in no time. At any rate, "Top of the day to you" opening an email makes any email a #1 email.
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